What Could Have Been
by PsychUOut
Summary: An AU, in which Ryan and Esposito were once friends as teenagers. Kevin was on the track to college and his dream of becoming a cop, while Javier was on the road to a life of crime, until something happens one night that changes their lives forever. Now, Esposito is the homicide detective that we know and love and Ryan is a low-level criminal on the hook for murder.
1. Never Let Me Go

**An AU, in which Ryan and Esposito were once friends as teenagers. Kevin was on the track to college and his dream of becoming a cop, while Javier was on the road to a life of crime, until something happens one night that changes their lives forever. Now, Esposito is the homicide detective that we know and love and Ryan is a low-level criminal on the hook for murder.**

 **Rated T for some language and references to drugs. Rating may be changed for later chapters.**

 **No slash, just plenty of bromance-y goodness.**

Chapter 1:

Never Let Me Go

There was so much blood. It was on his hands, his arms, covering his new shirt. The shirt was a gift, from the person who the blood belonged. Its coppery smell filled his nose, making him gag. There was too much. He pressed his hands into the wound making the poor boy cry out. "I-I'm sorry." He stuttered.

Sharp eyes met his. "I'm scared." The boy said weakly. "It… hurts. It really hurts."

He opened his mouth to offer comfort but loud voices filled the alleyway and he froze. They were coming, coming for him. He didn't do what he was supposed to.

His hands shook in fear and his gaze drifted to the boy's pale face. He had a kind face, a sympathetic face, they would take pity on the boy. But they wouldn't spare him, if they were angry he'd be dead in minutes. The voices came closer, making him panic. Desperation over took him, hands pulled away as his mind raced. "They'll like you." He said quietly as he stood. "Just be yourself and I'm sure they'll let you go."

Kind eyes looked at him, shrouded in terror. "What?" He squeaked.

He backed away, his feet itching to run. "I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Kevin."

"Javier?" The boy squeaked. "Please Javi, don't leave me. Please!" He reached out and grabbed desperately at his arm. Voices formed into shadows on the dark alley walls and he couldn't do it, the fear was too much. The need to escape overpowered him, he shook Kevin away and he ran. The voice of his friend followed him, tearing at his soul. "Javier! Please Javi, I'm scared…. Javi!"

* * *

That voice followed Javier Esposito for years. From the day they met to the night he left him behind, the boy had been his best friend and had changed his life for the better. It was that night that made Esposito pull his act together. He focused harder on school, graduated and joined the army, becoming a valued member of the Special Forces. Once he was released he became a police officer at the NYPD, and shortly after a homicide detective. Life had turned out good for Javier. But he always knew that one day, somehow, it would all come back, and he would have to face what he had done.

That very day started like any other, Esposito was minding his own business, finishing up some paperwork he'd been putting off far too long, when a tall brunette approached. Kate Beckett stopped at his desk and tapped her three inch heels to catch his attention. Reluctantly Javier looked up. "Can I help you Beckett?" He asked cautiously, taking note of her tense posture.

"Oh I don't know detective." She said sharply. "Can you?" Kate dropped into the vacant seat behind him and motioned to the empty desk it belonged to. "Do you know what would really be helpful to me?" She asked, not waiting for a response. "It would really help me if my junior partner could keep a partner of his own for longer than a month."

Esposito sighed, his eye on the desk that had been cleared only a few hours ago. "Captain Gates told you huh?"

"Oh, are you wondering if she told me that your latest partner asked for a transfer after only a week? Yes, Javi, she did." She crossed her arms. "That's got to be a new record for you. How many partners does that make this year?"

"Six." He answered, feeling like a kid being scolded after school. "But it's not my fault." He shot in a weak defense. "If Gates would send me someone worthwhile instead of these CSI: Miami wannabes then maybe they might stick around longer."

"It's not your fault? Not even a little?" She asked doubtingly, eyebrows raised. "Because I heard this last one asked for a transfer this morning after you yelled at him in the breakroom and made him cry."

"I had no choice." He squeaked. "When you sent us to go pick up that suspect yesterday he got distracted and we nearly lost the guy. Dumb ass mistakes like that could have cost us worse."

Beckett leaned forward and rubbed her forehead. "Javi." She sighed.

"No!" Esposito snapped. "Don't 'Javi' me. I need someone I can trust, someone who I know will have my back, no matter what. I just haven't been able to find that yet."

Her eyebrows drew together as she thought. He had her. There was no denying that connecting with your partner was important, it made all the difference when it came to life and death. "Okay Javi, you win." She admitted. "But maybe try giving the next one at least two weeks before you make him cry." She gave him a small grin and he couldn't help but smile.

"He lost another one?" Richard Castle questioned as he approached the two detectives, he gave a cheeky grin. The writer had become part of their family a few years back. Esposito didn't liked him at first. He had weaseled his way in between his relationship with Beckett. But after the first time the writer had saved her life, he began to warm up to him. Castle had proven himself over and over to be a valuable member of their team, and now Esposito even considering him his friend. Castle's eyes fell on the empty desk. "One week, that's a new record."

"Shut up." Javier hissed, swiveling back around in his seat. But at the sound of crinkling wrappers he turned back. "Did you bring lunch?" He asked with a grin when his eyes fell on the paper bags in the other man's hands.

Rick nodded. "You're favorite. Triple cheeseburgers." Esposito's mouth began to water as the tin foil wrapped deliciousness was passed to him.

Beckett's phone rang at her desk, she rushed in quick taps to answer it. "Thanks bro." Espo said with a smile. "I'm starving."

"Sure, all that yelling can make a man tired." Castel chuckled and took a bite of his own sandwich. "So did you really make him cry?"

Esposito waved a dismissive hand. "He was too sensitive anyway, if I hadn't made him cry I'm sure something else would have."

"Looks like we'll have to wrap lunch back up boys." Beckett said from her desk. "We got a body." Esposito let out a loud groan, but with a glare from his superior he decided it best to put the sandwich away and followed her out.

A short time later they were all standing around a body found in the middle of his New York penthouse. "Do we have an ID?" Javier asked the medical examiner with a grin.

Lanie Parish grinned back. "Yes." She answered. "This little piece of heaven is his." She glanced around the gaudy penthouse, decorated with bearskin rugs and horrendous pieces of art, if art is what you could call it. She shook his head. "I'm no detective but I'm guessing our man here was single. His name is Robert Sharp." She motioned to the body of the man. He was in his fifties, dark hair and eyes, and was currently sporting a knife to the chest. "I think cause of death is obvious but it looks like he died sometime between eight and ten o'clock this morning."

"Robert Sharp?" Castle questioned. "How do I know that name?"

"Probably because we've had him in the precinct several times before." Beckett answered. "He's been on the narcotics division's radar for quite some time for drug trafficking. There was also a murder we tried to convict him for about a year back but we've never been able to pin a thing on him or his known associates." She knelt down and looked him over. "Looks like someone got to him before we could."

An officer came and cleared his throat, catching their attention.. "Excuse me Detectives," He interrupted, he motioned to a girl standing in the doorway. "That is Lisa, she's employed by Mr. Sharp to come in and clean every week. She's the one that discovered the body."

Esposito nodded. "Thanks, I'll take it from here." He stepped away from the others and introduced himself to the nervous girl before starting his questioning. "Can you tell me what happened?"

She slowly nodded, her hands still shook as she tried to recall the incident. "I um…" She swallowed and Javier told her to take her time. "I… I came in this morning to clean. I knocked several times but Mr. Sharp didn't answer so I used the key for the times he's not home. When I came in I heard movement in the living room. I thought it was Mr. Sharp so I called out but no one answered."

Esposito took notes down quickly. "And then what happened?"

The girl fiddled nervously with her hair. "I went to the living room to make sure everything was okay but before I could reach the doorway this guy came rushing out, he…" Her face went pale. "He had blood all over his hands. He ran pass me and out the door and when I came to the room I found Mr. Sharp…. Dead." She shook more at the thought.

"Did you get a good look at the guy?" Esposito asked after giving her a moment to calm. "Could you give a description?"  
"I… I didn't see his face well but he was um… white, and about your height, maybe a little shorter, he had brown hair I think. That's all I remember, it happened so fast."

Esposito nodded. It was to be expected. Not everyone could memorize people's faces in a split second. "Thank you that's very helpful. Just one last question, what time was it that you found Mr. Sharp?"

She thought back. "Close to eleven I think, I usually come around noon but I was ahead of schedule today."

Javier thanked her again and returned to the others, recounting the information. "Well, if he had blood on his hands then they'll probably be fingerprints somewhere." Beckett reasoned. "I want everything swept. If this guy was messy enough, we'll have him in no time."

* * *

Esposito stared at his computer, trying to keep himself busy as the fingerprints were being ran, it was in times like these he really did wish he had a partner to talk to. They'd found plenty of prints. The guy was indeed messy. This would be an easy open and shut case. Which was good because it was getting late and he was tired, ready to call it a day. He finished his now cold cheeseburger and tossed the wrapper in the trash. It bounced off the rim just as an officer handed him the results. Javier jumped up and thanked him excitedly, rushing over to Beckett's desk where she was chatting with Castle. "Got the results!" He declared, not even taking the time to read them.

The murder board had a few crime scene photos pinned to it along with a photo of Robert Sharp when he was alive and well. A short list of what little information they had on the crook was scribbled below his picture, it ranged from trafficking drugs across the border to assault on workers that he suspected did him wrong. "I kind of hate solving this guy's murder." Castle said, his eyes running over the list. "He's a scumbag."

Beckett sighed. "Yeah well, we don't get to pick and choose. A murder is a murder." She nodded to Javier who was scowling after being interrupted. "So who was the guy running from the scene?"

Esposito smiled now that the attention was back on him. He flipped the file open and slid out a page. "Looks like the prints belong to…" As his eyes scanned the paper his blood ran cold. Everything else around him faded as he read the name a few more times.

His face must have gone a few shades paler because Beckett stood and was eyeing him warily. "What is it? Espo?"

"I, uh…" His throat felt dry. God did he need a drink, a strong one. The files slipped from his weak grasp and the papers scattered across the floor.

Two pairs of eyes watched him as he stood frozen to the floor. "So who is it?" Castle asked as stooped to gather up the papers. He pulled out a photo and slapped it up onto the murder board. Esposito dropped onto Beckett's desk as he stared at the face in the picture. He was older now but it really was him. It was all finally coming back.

Beckett slipped the paper out of her frozen detective's hand, still watching him with concern. She read the name aloud. "Looks like the fingerprints belong to… Kevin Ryan."

* * *

"Are you Javier Esposito?" The voice was timid as it interrupted his solitary lunch.

Life was not easy for seventeen year old Javier, he was a trouble maker. His mother was raising him on her own and he did his best to mind her but when it came to other figures of authority he had problems. Actually, when it came to other human beings he had problems. He was short tempered and got in plenty of fights, with teachers and classmates alike. Which lead to him being bounced from school to school in hopes that one might be a better fit… they never were. He stopped trying to make friends, it never ended well.

So when this skinny white kid showed up in front of him a few days after starting at his new school, he chose to ignore him, hoping he would go away. He didn't look up or respond in any way and after a few minutes he was certain the boy would leave… but he didn't. A tray slid into the spot across from him and the boy sat down. "My name is Kevin, Kevin Ryan." He held out a hand but still Javier didn't look up. He focused on the meat on his plate, trying to figure out what kind of meat it was pretending to be. The boy shifted in his seat. "This stuff is pretty gross isn't it, I like it when they have pizza."

Was he really trying to have a conversation? Didn't he know who he was, he was certain he had already cemented his reputation in this new school after he'd gotten into a fight in the hallway the day before. It would seem he would have to drive it home with this dense boy.

Javier let out a heavy breath and slammed a fist on the table, making the boy jump. His head finally snapped up and he opened his mouth, prepared to tell the kid to get lost but he stopped. Deep blue eyes caught his attention. He'd never seen eyes so blue before, they calmed him, but he had no idea why. Kevin took the hesitation as his opportunity. He stuck his arm out again. "Kevin Ryan." He said, reintroducing himself. He pulled his hand away when it was still left unacknowledged. "You're new right? I'm a grade below you I think. But I noticed you eating alone the last couple days and thought you might like a friend. I know what it's like to be new, it's no fun. So you're name's Javier right? I like that name, it's different. Mine is so boring, Kevin. I doubt there's as many Javier's as there are Kevin's."

Javier stared at him, annoyance growing. Did he ever stop talking? "What the hell do you want?" He snapped, making him twitch again.

Kevin shook his head. "Nothing really. I just thought you might-"

"I don't want a friend." He interrupted. "Now leave me alone." He dug back into his food, hoping it was the end of this annoying kid.

"Oh." He sat quietly, poking at his lunch, but never left. "Javier." He said making him look up again. "Javier… Javier, I just like the way it sounds. It's fun to say. Javier… Javi, Hey! I like that, can I call you that?"

He sent a death-like glare over the table. "No." The word came out cold enough to make their lunches freeze over. "Now, go away before I punch you in the nose."

Kevin bit his lip. "Okay, but I'll be back tomorrow. I'll bring you some of the cookies my mom made yesterday. They're delicious, you'll love them." He stood and grabbed his uneaten tray of food. "See you tomorrow Javi." Javier shot from his seat, the chair sliding out from underneath him. Kevin took off running and he hoped it would be the last time he ever saw the blue eyed boy.

* * *

It took some time to track Ryan down. His last known address was a bust, he'd been evicted several days sooner. His photo and description were placed out on watch and they were still awaiting word the next morning.

Esposito was sipping his coffee nervously from one of the tiny cups belonging to Castle's espresso machine. The writer noticed as he handed a cup to Beckett. "Is everything okay?" He questioned to the fidgeting detective.

"Yeah." Kate chimed in. "You've been acting really strange since yesterday."

He'd chosen not to tell them about his relationship with their suspect, in fear of being pulled off the case. Everything was bound to come to light but for now, he didn't want to face it. "It's nothing." He said through a shaky voice. "I'm just ready to get this case over with." Besides, it was a long time ago, it shouldn't matter now. But if that were the case, then why was that familiar feeling of guilt tugging at his nerves.

"You look tired." Beckett said with a sigh. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

How was he supposed to sleep when his dreams all consisted of the same thing? Blue eyes, old friends, and lots of blood. "It's nothing." He repeated. "I'm fine."

Kate raised an eyebrow. Clearly not buying it. "Well, have an extra cup of coffee, I need you awake. We're going to question Ryan together when he gets here."

Esposito choked on his coffee. "They found him?" He managed to cough as Castle hit at his back.

Kate rubbed his shoulder as he regained his composure. "I got the call a few minutes ago, they're bringing him in. Are you sure everything's okay?"

Javier tilted his head. Maybe it would be best to clear the air now. He opened his mouth to confess his sins when a commotion in the bullpen made him stop. "Let go of me!" A voice roared as soon as the elevator doors opened. Two officers struggled to drag a man down the hall. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

Hairs stood up on the back of Esposito's neck. He recognized that voice.

Kevin Ryan fought back in their grip. Despite being much shorter he was making life difficult for the two officers that held him. "This is unlawful arrest! You can't prove anything!" He thrashed and struggled and refused to be pushed forward. His leg kicked out and he knocked a nearby chair clear across the bullpen. All eyes were on him.

"That's our suspect?" Castle asked with a heavy swallow. "Seems like a handful."

Esposito couldn't help but let out a laugh. "You have no idea." He said, earning him confused glances from his team. The officers disappeared around the corner with the defiant man still in hand. He dropped the coffee and straightened his jacket before heading toward the observation room.

Captain Gates was already waiting inside. Her presence made Esposito nervous. They all looked at the man through the two-way mirror. To Esposito, he hadn't changed much, from his gentle, innocent features to his slight stature. His hair was still a soft brown and styled just right, although slightly disheveled by all his struggling. He was pale and skinny. And of course, his most noticeable feature was still his deep blue eyes that seemed to glow even in the dim light of the interrogation room.

However, there was one thing that was different, the familiar blue eyes were bloodshot and rimmed by dark circles. His behavior was off and when you added that to the volatile behavior and restlessness, Javier came to one conclusion. "Is he high?" Esposito asked, wishing his voice hadn't just squeaked.

The Captain nodded. "Looks like it. This might make your jobs more difficult detectives. Perhaps we should put him in holding for the night and wait it out."

"We can handle it." Beckett said firmly. "Ready Espo?"

He swallowed, hesitating slightly. "Yeah." He left the room, grabbing Kate's arm before she could open the interrogation room door. "Uh, Beckett, I need a favor."

She looked him over, eyebrows knitted. "What is it?"

"I uh…" His throat was dry again. "I know him… Ryan."

She nodded knowingly. "So that's why you've been acting so strange. So who is he?"

Javi dropped his head. "It's uh… complicated. An old friend of sorts. But, can you give me lead on this one?"

"Sure, of course." Man, was he grateful for this woman. Not even a second thought. He just hoped she would keep the same attitude after this was over.

He gave her a small, grateful smile. "Thanks. Just uh, he's a good person… okay." He didn't give her a chance to push further before opening the door.

He entered first. Ryan was still focused on trying to free himself from the cuffs that held him to the table. He shifted in his seat at the feeling of someone else in the room. He placed on a smug grin as they sat down across from him. Sharp blue eyes scanned them both, stopping on Esposito's face. The room was silent and ever so slowly, recognition crossed his features. The grin fell slightly before his smile widened. "Well, well." He said slowly. "Javier Esposito, now there's a face I didn't think I'd ever see again." His eyes shifted, unfocused. "So you're a cop now?"

"Detective." He corrected sternly.

Ryan's eyebrows rose. "Oh, well excuse me your highness. I never would have guess you'd become either but I suppose nothing is quite as I pictured it since I last saw you."

Guilt gnawed deep inside Esposito's chest, it was eating its way out. "Mr. Ryan we have a few questions for you." He said, trying to adopt as formal an attitude as he could manage.

Kevin's eyes shifted to Beckett. He bit down on his lip as he looked her over. "Is this your partner Javi?" He questioned.

"Detective Kate Beckett." She said in introduction, doing her part to let Javier have the lead.

Ryan laughed. "I'm sure you've heard this before but damn you're hot. You've been lucky in all sorts of areas haven't you Javi?"

"Hey!" Esposito snapped. "You will show some respect."

"Sorry, didn't mean to be disrespectful, wouldn't want that." Sarcasm dripped from every word. Ryan couldn't sit still, the drugs raged his system and made him antsy. He pulled at his cuffs and his tired eyes refused to focus. "What does a guy have to do around here to get something to eat?" He whined, still focusing on Kate. "Hey sweetheart, why don't you get me a burger? I haven't had a bite in days."

Javier jumped up, his chair shot out from behind him and slammed into the wall, rattling the mirror. "Damn it Kevin you watch your mouth!" He roared.

Ryan flinched before he smiled. "For a man who's come so far you sure haven't changed much have you Javi? Still that same short temper."

This wasn't the Kevin he remembered. He had no idea who this man was. When he'd seen Ryan's name on that paper, in the back of his mind he'd seen a chance to redeem himself, to find a glimpse of the past and make up for his wrongs. But he saw little hope with this man. Kevin Ryan was not here, there was only this stranger. Or so he thought.

Beckett placed a hand on his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze, calming him instantly. Javier picked up his chair and sat back down. Kate handed him the folder and he pulled out a picture, sliding it across this table. "Do you know this man?" He questioned, pointing to Robert Sharp's face.

Kevin's eyes scanned the photo, Javier caught a hint of fear pass his face. "No, never met him." He lied.

"Then why are your prints in the blood all over his body?" Beckett asked, sliding another photo over, one from the crime scene.

Ryan's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. "Must be a mistake." He was trying to sound tough, but was failing.

"There's no mistake." Javier continued, feeling a little more confident. "Your prints are all over his chest and the knife sticking out of it. We've got a witness placing you at the scene." Ryan shifted, "What happened Kev? What were you doing at that penthouse? Why did you kill Robert Sharp?"

Kevin's head dipped as he rubbed at his blood shot eyes with his cuffed hands. "I- I didn't… I wasn't…" His head stayed low.

Esposito sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I never would have thought you could do something like this Kev? Have you really fallen so low to resort to murder?"

"I didn't kill him!" He shouted, head shooting up. Blue eyes filled with tears. He tried to force them away but failed miserably. "I hated him but… but I tried to save him. I couldn't watch him die… I couldn't." Javier straightened. There he was. This was the Kevin he remembered. The one who cared so much he would risk his own life… to save a friend. He may not have been lost after all. Esposito saw a glimmer of hope.

Kevin couldn't stay in his seat any longer. He jolted and pushed his chair out from under him. He tugged at the cuffs and the table scraped across the floor. "I have to get out of here." He shouted, paranoia taking over.

"Kev, sit down!" Esposito ordered, he stood and reached for his old friend.

But Kevin was too far gone. He pulled away from the touch. The metal dug into his wrists as drug induced panic pushed him over the edge. "Please, let me go. I-I can't do this. I have to go… please!" Ryan collapsed to the floor, his body shaking violently. Javier could only look on in shame as his friend fell apart. "Please let me go Javi. Please." He sobbed. But he wouldn't let him go. He wouldn't leave him behind, not again.

* * *

 **So this is something brand new for me. I've never done an AU before but I'm having a real good time with this. I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait to hear from you!**


	2. The Kevin Affect

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you guys make me so happy! I am really enjoying writing this story and am happy to hear you are all interested. I'm having an awful lot of fun at Ryan's expense. So here is chapter 2, please enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 2:

The Kevin Affect

"Ugh! Just forget it!" Teenage Javier jumped up from the coffee table he'd been hovering over and stormed in circles around his mother's living room. "Who the hell needs math in real life anyway?" He roared. "It's a waste of time." They'd been studying for hours and hadn't gotten any closer to a break through.

Kevin leaned on his elbows. "Sit down Javi, it's not that hard." He said with a chuckle.

"Maybe not for you! You're a brainy know-it-all, but I'm not made for this stuff." He glanced down at the offending papers. "And whose bright idea was it to put the alphabet in math? It's stupid."

"Javi." Kevin said gently, easing the other teen's anger. How the skinny Irish kid had wormed his way into his life, he couldn't figure out. But his persistence had eventually worn Javier down. Kevin pointed to the spot across from him and Javier plopped down with a grunt. He pulled the paper over and ran his pencil over it. "Here, try it like this. If you're looking at the problem just as it is, it can look harder but…" He slid the paper back, circles were now drawn around different pieces of the equation. "If you break it up into smaller pieces and step back, it's not so hard. Solve the pieces in the circles first and then put it together."

He sat back and waited patiently while Javier worked at the problem. Javi groaned as if he was in actual, physical pain but kept at it. Kevin chuckled a few times and Javier stuck out his tongue, but eventually he slid the paper back and Kevin looked it over. "Right!" He declared. "You got it right!"

Javier couldn't stop the smile that broke across his face. "Really?" Kevin nodded. "Cool… I'm hungry." He jumped up. "Want a snack?"

"B-but we still have like… ten more problems." Kevin stuttered as he got up and followed his new friend to the kitchen. "We have to get you through them, this is due tomorrow."

Javier pulled down a bag of chips and a jar of peanut butter. He shoved them into Kevin's hands before rooting through the fridge. He came back out with two sodas and a package of cheese. "You need to relax a little, we got time. Right now, we fill our stomachs."

"With cheese, chips, and peanut butter?" Kevin, asked, nose scrunching.

Javier pulled out two spoons. "It's the best I got, so quit your whining."

They walked back to the living room and dumped the food on the table. "Won't your mom be home for dinner soon?"

"Nah, she's at her night job, she won't be back till late." Javi grabbed one of the spoons and scooped it into the peanut butter jar. "Go on, eat up." He said, sliding the jar across the table. "So I'm thinking about joining the football team, you should too."

Kevin laughed as he licked at the peanut butter. "Are you kidding? My skinny ass wouldn't survive a second out on the field."

"Yeah, that's a good point." Kevin scowled and Javier laughed. "But you want to be a cop don't you?" Kevin nodded. "Well then you've got to bulk up a little." He looked him over. "Well for you… maybe a lot of bulking up."

Kevin looked at the papers buried by the food. "I'll make a deal with you. If you can pass this next math test then I'll try out for the football team with you."

Javier groaned. "Pass it?"

"Yes, with at least a C."

His mouth scrunched as he thought. "Okay, you've got yourself a deal skinny boy." They shook hands and broke open the bag of chips.

* * *

"God, he looks terrible." Castle said as they all stood outside the holding cell. Ryan was in the corner of the cell, scrunched as far into a ball as he could manage, rocking back and forth. "Remind me to never do drugs… ever."

"Do you really need to be reminded of that?" Beckett asked. She glanced to Javier. His eyes never left the Irishman balled in the corner. "You okay Espo?" She asked gently.

He cleared his throat and shifted, finally breaking his stare. "I'm okay. Gates said we can question him again once he dries out a little."

"So do we believe his story?" The writer asked. "About him trying to save Sharp?"

Kate watched Ryan shake. His whole body seemed to vibrate on its own. "I ran it by Lanie. She said she'd let me know if she finds any indication of revival attempts when she does the autopsy."

"I'm wondering about the timeline too." Javier said slowly as he thought. "Our witness said that she saw Ryan running away when she arrived at eleven but Lanie put the time of death before ten in the morning, why would he stick around so long after killing him?"

Beckett thought it over, nodding in agreement. "It would really help clear some things up if he would just talk to us." They watched Kevin a few more minutes as he continued to shiver.

Castle turned his attentions to Esposito. "So who is this guy to you anyway?"

Javier sighed. "An old friend… that's all I want to say for now." He said, warding any further questions away.

Unfortunately Castle wasn't swayed so easily. "This guy? Why would you be friends with someone like him?"

"It was a long time ago." Javi said quietly. "He wasn't the same person… and neither was I. Guys, can I have a minute alone?"

Beckett shook her head. "Javi, I'd like to but I'm not sure that's a good idea. This might be a little too close for you."

He looked into her eyes. "Please." He asked gently, adopting a soft tone that wasn't normal for him. "Just one minute."

She caved quickly. "Okay, but just a minute." She grabbed Castle's arm and dragged him out, leaving the old friends alone.

Esposito entered the cell, not afraid of Kevin escaping, he was hardly a flight risk, the man could barely move. He sat quietly on the bench and waited for Kevin to acknowledge his presence. "W-what do you want?" He stuttered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Just wanted to talk." Javier answered quietly. "Do you need anything?"

Ryan shifted on the floor to face him, his mouth breaking into a wry smile. "I could use another hit but I'm sure you won't be giving me that."

Esposito let out an uneasy laugh. "Sorry bro, but I don't think so."

Kevin nodded and drew his knees back to his chest. "So a cop huh? Oh… sorry, detective I mean. Couldn't come up with a dream of your own so you stole mine."

Javier shifted. "It wasn't a bad dream. I became a cop after I went into the army… Special Forces."

"Congratulations." Ryan sneered. "As you can I see, I took a slightly different path… thanks to you."

His words bit straight to Javier's conscience. "Look man, I never really got a chance to apologize for-"

"Save it." Kevin hissed. "I don't want your damn pity, what happened… happened. End of story. You made your decision, cowardly as it was, and I made mine. And here we are, sometimes you just got to roll with the punches, you taught me that."

"Yeah… yeah I did." The cell fell into several minutes of uncomfortable silence. "Well, we'll forget the past then." Not so easily done. "And we'll focus on now. You're in a lot of trouble Kev. You're on the hook for murder here. Now I took a look at your file, you have a couple counts of assault, weapons possession, and, of course, drug possession."

"Read my file eh?" He interrupted with a chuckle. "Guess you know me so well now."

Javier rolled his eyes. He was growing tired of the attitude. "My point is, you haven't done anything as bad as murder."

"That you know of."

That statement did little to ease his worries. "Do you want to dig yourself in a hole you can't get out of!" He snapped, growing angry. It seemed to please Kevin. "I'm trying to help you Kev, could you just work with me? I know you, you would never hurt anyone. So please just tell us the truth."

Kevin leaned his head against the dirty wall. It hardly seemed to bother him, his face, jeans, t-shirt, and jacket were just as dirty. "I did tell you the truth Javi." He sighed. "I didn't kill him. I always wanted to but… I never did."

"So what were you doing at that penthouse? How do you know Sharp?"

Kevin clenched his eyes shut, withdrawing into himself again. "I don't… I didn't.. Javi, just leave me alone." He curled back into a ball and fell to the floor.

He would have to go about this a different way. Clearly talking to him while he was still high wasn't doing him any good. But he couldn't leave him here in this hole, his conscience wouldn't allow it. Javier stood and grabbed Kevin's arm, dragging him to his feet. It took a few tries to get him standing straight but once he had his hands were cuffed in front of him while the Irishman stared with confused and bleary eyes. "Come on, let's get you something to drink. Are you thirsty?"

"I… I could use some water." He said gently. Kevin continued to stare as he was led out of the cell on unsteady feet. "Aren't you going to get in trouble?"

"Just let me worry about that." Esposito grumbled. He led him down the hall, through the bullpen, catching Beckett's attention, and into the break room. "Sit down here." He ordered, placing him at the table, "And don't move." To his surprise, Ryan obeyed. He fished out his wallet as quick taps of heels approached.

"Esposito!" Beckett snapped, her eyes flashing to her suspect in the chair. She shut the breakroom door as soon as Castle slipped in. "What are you doing?"

"He's dehydrated." Javier said calmly, punching the buttons on the vending machine. "He just needed some water."

"You could have given him a glass of water in the holding cell." She hissed.

"Yes… I could have." He handed the bottle over and Ryan drank it greedily.

"Espo." Beckett growled. "I knew you were to close to this."

He dropped into the chair next to Kevin and grinned. "Relax Kate, have a cup of coffee." She rolled her eyes but made a cup anyway.

Castle slid into the chair across from Ryan and extended a hand. "Hi." He greeted. "I'm-"

"Rick Castle!" Ryan cried, taking his hand and shaking it excitedly. "I know who you are! I can't believe it. I-I've read all your books. I love the Nikki Heat series, it's great!"

Castle smiled wide. "Always nice to meet a fan. You know Nikki Heat is based off of Detective Beckett here." He smiled at the female detective, she sighed and drank her coffee. "And I even have a character based off of Esposito."

Ryan's eyes widened. "No kidding!" He shouted. "That's so cool." He looked to his old friend with a wide, genuine smile, clearly impressed. Esposito shot the writer a grateful glance.

Beckett joined them at the table. "So Mr. Ryan, I hope you know how much trouble you're in here."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Javi already cleared that one up for me. You guys are like a broken record." He lowered his gaze to the water in his hands. "But… I didn't kill Sharp, I got there and found him bleeding to death with a knife in his chest. I tried to pull it out but he just started bleeding more so I tried to stop it. He died… before I could do anything. You have to believe me."

Beckett leaned forward. "We don't have to believe anything you say." She warned. "All we have to believe are the facts and so far the facts say that you killed him."

"Well maybe you're looking to close at the obvious." Ryan snapped. "Maybe you should get your head out of your ass, step back and look again."

"Kevin!" Javier snapped in warning.

He held up his hands in defense. "I think you'll find that the obvious is usually the truth." She said calmly. Beckett shook her head, pulling out her phone as it rang in her pocket. "Hey Lanie… alright. We'll be right there." She hung up with a grin. "Okay Mr. Ryan, looks like our medical examiner has something to tell us. So why don't we go down to the morgue together and we'll see who needs to pull whose head 'out of their ass'." She stood quickly, making them all jump and grabbed Ryan by the arm.

"The morgue? Sweet!" The Irishman cried as he was dragged away. Castle and Esposito shared a glance before following.

"Alright Lanie." Beckett said as soon as they were in the morgue and beside the examining table holding their latest victim. She kept a tight grip on Ryan's arm. "What do you got?"

The medical examiner's gaze fell on the cuffed criminal standing in her morgue. Kevin gave an awkward wave. "I'm sorry but is it now part of the routine to bring your number one suspect into my morgue?" She asked, crossing her arms. She looked him over again. "And while he's coming down from a drug high?"

"Sorry Lanie." Esposito said quickly. "He's sort of an… old friend of mine."

Ryan let out a snort at the look that crossed Lanie's face. He wiped his smirk away when she hit him with a hard glare. "Mr. Sharp here bled out for several hours before he died."

Beckett's gaze shifted to Ryan. "And is there any signs that someone tried to help him?"

Lanie watched Kevin as well. "Actually, there is." She pointed to the stab wound. "There are marks along the wound that indicate someone tried to pull the knife out." Consistent with his story. "And there is also bruising on the chest that looks like someone pressed down around the wound."

"Perhaps when someone tried to stop the bleeding?" Ryan questioned smugly.

Lanie crossed her arms again, effectively wiping the smug smile away again. "Perhaps, but these marks could also have come from the struggle."

"Well you're not helpful at all." Kevin grumbled quietly, too afraid to actually speak out loud.

"Anything else?" Esposito questioned as he stifled a laugh.

Lanie turned to the table next to her and grabbed an evidence bag. "I also found this clenched in his fist." She handed it to Castle, since Beckett's hands were full, still keeping a tight grip on Ryan. "Looks like the amulet off a necklace." He held it up, the golden, coin-like, charm glinted in the bright lights of the morgue.

A strangled squeak escaped Ryan's mouth and they all turned on him. Blue eyes went wide and his face fell pale. "What's up Kev?" Esposito questioned. "Do you recognize it?"

Kevin pushed out the breath he was holding and shook his head quickly. "No… no I don't. Can we go now?" He pulled against Beckett's grasp but she held firm.

"If you know anything you better tell us now." She ordered firmly.

"I-I don't know anything." Kevin shifted nervously on his feet, his eyes darting again. Esposito was starting to learn that behavior, he was retreating. "And why would I tell you if I did?" He snapped. "You've already got your mind made up that I murdered him so you may as well just throw away the key now."

"I haven't made up my mind yet." The female detective said, turning him to face her and placing her hands on his shoulders. "But if you're going to fight me every step of the way I can't help you." He challenged Beckett's gaze but was unable to hold it. His eyes fell to the floor in defeat. He shook nervously under her hands. Her features softened and she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Come on, let's get you back upstairs."

Javier used to call it the 'Kevin Affect', or the 'sweet-and-innocent-looking-blue-eyed-Irish-white-boy' affect, depending on how much time he had to talk. People took to Kevin quickly, they fell for his charming demeanor and gentle disposition in an instant. They wanted to coddle and protect him, when he was a kid, and even now. Esposito used to use the 'Kevin affect' to get out of trouble. One time as a kid, he broke an old woman's apartment window when he threw a baseball through it (It may or may not have been an accident), she was outraged but as soon as Kevin showed up and flashed his puppy dog eyes, she was inviting them in for cookies and milk. Right now the same thing was happening to Beckett, whether she realized it or not, otherwise Kevin would be sitting in the holding cell.

It seemed to be wearing on Lanie too. The medical examiner stepped around the table and took Ryan's chin in her hand. Kevin flinched but held still. She turned his head as she looked him over with a medical eye. She noted his shaking hands and feverish temperature. "He needs more water and should get some sleep if you don't want him going into shock. Coming down from a high like that is hard on the body." She poked at his stomach. "And for crying out loud get this skinny boy some food, he's thin as a flag pole."

They took her advice and a few hours later, after a short nap for Ryan, the four of them were sitting around the conference room table. Castle was pulling enough Chinese food containers out of plastic bags to feed an army. But Ryan looked hungry enough to eat like an army, his mouth watered as he looked over each container. But Kevin's cuffed hands stayed flat on the table, he didn't move to grab any of it, even when the others started to dish out the food onto paper plates. Esposito watched from the corner of his eye. "You can have some if you want." He said quietly.

"Yeah." Ryan scoffed. "And what's the catch? You want me to talk… confess to the murder."

Castle slid a container closer. "No catch. How long has it been since you ate last?"

Kevin shrugged, softening slightly. "A few days… I-I don't know, I lose track sometimes. But you can't fool me, there's always a catch."

The writer popped the lid open and shoveled some noodles on a plate before grabbing an egg roll and some chicken, adding it to the pile. "I promise you Kevin, there's no catch. We just want to help." He handed him a fork and moved the plate closer.

In that moment Javier was grateful for his friends. They weren't treating Ryan like any other suspect, and it wasn't just because of the 'Kevin Affect', it was because he meant something to Esposito and Esposito meant something to them. "Go ahead Kev, its okay." He said with a friendly smile, Beckett nodded along.

Slowly, Ryan stabbed a piece of chicken and took a timid bite, it was all he needed to reveal how hungry he really was. Pretty soon he was shoveling down noodles, chicken, and egg rolls, barely taking a breath in between. He made plenty of hums and moans of delight. "Is that mushu pork?" He asked through a full mouth. Beckett handed over the container he was pointing at and he dug in. "Wow, this stuff is great. I haven't had Chinse that wasn't either long expired or out of a trash can in a while."

Javier felt the guilt twinge in his chest again. He slid a soda to his old friend and focused on the papers that spread over the table. "So what do we know about our victim?"

Beckett picked up a paper and an egg roll. "Robert Sharp, He's a CEO of a small shipping company but it hardly earns him enough money to afford him that penthouse. The NYPD has been trying to get their hands on him for supplying drugs all over the city but we haven't been able to, he's very smart."

Ryan snorted. "Not hardly, he's just a player in someone else's pocket. He was actually a little dim."

Castle narrowed his eyes. "Are you saying someone was protecting him from the police? Sharp was only a front man?"

Kevin shrunk into his seat. "I didn't say anything." He slurped noisily at his soda.

Kate smirked. "So I'm guessing Sharp used his shipping company to get the drugs in but how did he get them delivered so discreetly?"

Esposito leaned forward, picking up on her game. "He must have used employees from his company?"

"What? Don't be stupid." Ryan spat. "That's a terrible idea. Even as dumb as he was, he would never use his own employees. He used runners, people who were down on their luck. People who desperately needed money."

"People like you?" Javier questioned already knowing the answer.

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"You were a drug runner?" Kate asked sadly.

Kevin nodded. "You get treated like shit but it doesn't pay terrible." He paused for a second. "No I take that back it does pay terrible but it does pay. Someone with a record like mine doesn't exactly get the best jobs. But I've worked my way up since then." He fidgeted under there pitying gaze. "Stop it, please don't look at me like that. It's a crappy life but at least I'm alive." His eyes shifted to Esposito. "You learn to survive when you have to."

Javier hung his head. "Kevin I-"

"What is going on here?" Gates roared making them all jump. She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips. "Why is our primary suspect sitting here, eating Chinese, instead of sitting in lock up?"

Beckett and Esposito shot out of their chairs. "Uh sir, it's a uh… funny story." Javi began.

Kate took over when he couldn't actually think of a funny story. "Sir, he was uh, going into shock and he needed to eat."

"So give him a granola bar." She sighed. "Don't bring him up here where he can get away. He could be dangerous."

"He's not dangerous sir." Esposito said confidently. He slapped Ryan's shoulder. "Give her the puppy dog face." He whispered quickly out of the corner of his mouth. Kevin didn't have to try too hard, his face always seemed to be trapped in a puppy dog pout with his big blue eyes and eyebrows drawn up in the center of his face, but he stuck his lip out to really sell it. Gates crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "See sir." Javier squeaked.

"So are you saying Mr. Ryan here is not a suspect anymore? Based on what evidence?" She waited.

Castle decided to jump in. "He's still a suspect but some things just aren't adding up." She shook her head, still not buying it so he decided to sweeten the pot. "Also sir, he might have something more to offer."

"That's right." Beckett added. "We think that Robert Sharp was into something deep when he was murdered. With Ryan's help we might be able to both solve his murder and put an end to a drug trade within the city."

Esposito shifted, he figured now was as good a time as any to ask for what he'd been planning. "Sir, I would like to request that Kevin Ryan be put into my custody while this case is ongoing." She let out a small laugh that didn't sound good for his request. "Sir, I just uh… he doesn't do well under duress and he would be more useful if he… um.." He was breaking under her glare.

Gates sighed. "Come here Mr. Ryan." She ordered. Kevin swallowed the food in his mouth and stood slowly. With a frightened glance, he approached her. She looked him over. "I'll allow it." She said after several tense minutes. Kevin sighed in relief while everyone else shared matching expressions of surprise. The 'Kevin Affect' was much stronger than Javier had realized. "But Detective Esposito, you will be completely responsible for him. If he runs or anything happens at his hands while in your custody, it will be on you." Gates shot Kevin once last stern glance making him straighten. "And don't think I don't know this has something to do with your history, this better not blow up in my face detective." She turned on a heel and left.

The room was quiet with shock until Ryan spoke up. "Man… the women around here are terrifying… hey, are you going to eat that?"


	3. Sleepovers and Escape Attempts

Chapter 3:

Sleepovers and Escape Attempts

Teenage Javier shifted on his feet. He felt awkward standing in the middle of the spotless home. "Come on in Javi, you don't have to stay there." Ryan grinned and gestured for him to sit on the couch. "We can watch the game while we wait. If I'm actually going to play on the team you'll have to teach me all the rules. My mom will have dinner finished soon."

He eyed the couch, it was so clean. He didn't want to mess it up with his dirty clothes. They usually hung out at his mom's apartment but Kevin's parents wanted to meet the friend he'd been spending so much time with so they had invited Javier for dinner. He was reluctant to accept, but somehow, Kevin had convinced him. He perched on the edge of the couch and wiped his sweaty hands down his pant legs. "Man, why am I so nervous? I feel like I'm on a date or something, meeting the parents." He gave a nervous laugh.

Kevin laughed, it went higher in pitch than normal, Javier had learned that meant his laugh was sincere. "That's a little weird but I suppose I'm flattered." He paused for a second and smirked. "But don't be expecting me to put out at the end of the night." Kevin laughed louder, rolling on the couch. Javier punched him in the shoulder. "But don't worry." Kevin continued once he had contained his amusement. "There's no need to be nervous, my parents are cool, they just like to know who my friends are."

He leaned back into the cushions, feeling a little more relaxed. They sat and watched television for a while, Javier explaining the different plays on the screen. Soon they were gathered around the table with Ryan's mother, father, and older sisters. They asked him simple questions, where was he from, did he have any siblings, hobbies, favorite foods, and so on. They really did just want to get to know him, there was no catch behind it. It was a normal family dinner with warm, friendly people.

With the people Javier tended to find himself among, peaceful family dinners were not a normal thing. With every school he jumped between, Javi always found himself running with the bad crowds… the trouble makers. Who else was a low income Hispanic kid with a short temper supposed to hang with? It was only natural. Other kids never gave him the time of day, they never even gave him a chance… not until Kevin. He was different, he was always different. Javier found himself relaxing during dinner, enjoying this new setting that was foreign but nice.

"See, I told you they weren't so bad." Kevin said when they were back on the couch watching a bad action movie.

Javi rubbed his full stomach. "Yeah, they were okay. And your sisters are kind of hot."

Kevin punched him the shoulder a little harder than he thought the skinny kid was capable of. "Not cool." He warned.

Javier laughed. "Relax bro, I was just kidding."

Kevin froze and narrowed his eyes. "Bro?" He questioned.

"Yeah, you know... bro, brother."

"Oh." His eyebrows rose. "It's a term of endearment."

"Uh… yeah sure." He sighed and shook his head. "I guess if you have to make it sound nerdy."

"I can't help it." Kevin punched him awkwardly and followed it up with a just as awkward grin. "Bro."

Javier laughed. "We need to work on your level of cool man, you're terrible at it."

* * *

"Man this place is a dump." Ryan said as soon as Esposito had the door to his apartment open. He walked straight to the couch as if he'd been there a thousand times and plopped down. Ryan had clammed up about the case, they couldn't get another word out of him so they decided to call it a night in hopes he would be more talkative tomorrow.

Javier busied himself in the kitchen. It was only separated from his living room by an island counter so he could keep a good eye on the other man. He planned on keeping very close tabs on Ryan while he was in his custody. "Oh I'm sorry, as opposed to that classy place you called home up until a few days ago." Kevin's eyes fell to the floor. "That's right, we went to your last apartment, now that place was a dump. My apartment is the Ritz compared to that place. And get off my couch, you're a mess."

Ryan leaned back into the clean fabric just to aggravate him. "It's nice, where'd you get it?"

"No place you could afford." A little harsh but it was true.

Kevin snorted. "You should have just scored yourself some roadkill, that's what I do."

Esposito raised an eyebrow. "Roadkill?"

Kevin smiled. "Hey, it's an accepted practice bro, when you're done with your old stuff you leave it on the street for those less fortunate, like me. It's trickledown economics at its finest."

"Well, I prefer not to be trickled on. That's gross."

Ryan's laugh went high pitched. "I found a red one once, it was nice, you would have liked it. I was pretty upset when I got kicked out of the apartment I had it in."

"Just how many apartments have you had?"

Ryan shrugged and pulled at the cuffs that still trapped his hands. "This year? Maybe five or six, I think I spent more days on the street than in a bed of my own though." The apartment fell deathly silent. Kevin's eyes shifted to Javier as he stared down at the counter top. "Relax Javi, I'm not telling you so I can get your pity. I don't want it." He grinned. "So do any of your cop friends know about your past?"

Esposito fidgeted. "No… and thank you for not telling them what I did… what I did to you."

"Well, you got me out of jail so I guess we can call it even." Kevin stood and placed his hands on the counter. "So how about you just take off these cuffs and I'll be on my way."

"What?" Javier gave him a stern glare. "Like hell I am! You're under my custody, I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Ryan stared at him, genuinely confused. "But… I thought that's why you asked for custody of me. I thought that you felt so guilty by our terrible past that you were going to make up for it by letting me go."

"I don't think so." Javier said firmly. "Sorry, but you're stuck with me." He grabbed Ryan's arm and escorted him to the bedroom.

"b-but come on, you should feel awful. You do remember what you did, don't you?"

Esposito searched through his drawers and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt he thought would fit. It was a good thing they were almost the same height. "I thought you didn't want my pity."

"W-well I don't but I'll take what I can get." Javier pulled him down the hall. "Maybe you could scrounge up just enough pity to convince yourself to let me go… I'd be okay with that."

Esposito tilted his head, pretending to think it over. "Sorry, the answer is still no." He pushed Ryan into the bathroom and took off his cuffs. "Shampoo and soap is in the shower, towels in the cupboard, and there's toothpaste and a spare brush in the drawer by the sink. Get yourself cleaned up, you're not sleeping on my couch like that." He shut the door on the Irishman's surprised face. Javier waited by the door just to make sure Kevin wasn't going to do anything stupid. But when he heard the water start to run he left to make them something to eat, keeping his ears open, just in case.

Javier began to fry some hamburgers and pulled a bag of chips from the cupboard. Not exactly fine dining but he was certain Ryan wouldn't complain. He sighed. This whole situation was a mess. As soon as he saw Ryan's name on that page, he knew it would be difficult, but this was more than he expected. All the memories had come rushing back, the most vivid being that night he left Ryan in the alleyway and what he had done to put him there.

Javier was just flipping the burgers when a faint noise made him drop the spatula. He raced down the hall, the bathroom door was open and the room was empty, the shower water still running. Ryan was halfway out the window when he reached the bedroom. Esposito grabbed the hem of his pants and yanked him back inside.

The Irishman tumbled to the floor with a surprised yelp, he growled and kicked Esposito's legs out from under him. Ryan jumped up when Javi went down and made a break for the front door. Javier popped up and chased Kevin down the hall, grabbing him just as they were passing the bathroom. Kevin was tossed roughly back inside and Esposito pushed him into the spray of water, clothes and all. "Dammit Kev, I am trying to help you!" He roared, fuming with anger as the water drenched the other man. "You try to run again and I will not hesitate to take you back to the precinct and throw you back in that holding cell to rot. Now get cleaned up!" He slammed the door shut, shoving a chair under it to jam the handle.

Javier stormed back to the kitchen, rubbing his now sore back. He swore out loud when he flipped his burgers to find them burned on one side. God what a mess! It was like an insane seesaw ride, one minute he saw the old Kevin and the next there was this stranger, the one that got high and tried to escape police custody. He didn't like this stranger, he only wanted the old Kevin back.

Once the burgers were finished he pulled out all the fixings and grinned when he heard pounding and shouting coming from the bathroom door. He strolled casually back down the hallway. The door was shaking hard against the chair that held it. When Javi pulled it away the door flew open and Ryan stumbled backwards. Kevin's hair was wet and his dirty clothes were gone, he had finally done as he was told. He was wearing the clean pants but was holding the shirt in his hands. "I don't like this shirt." He said as he shoved it forward, eyes locked on the floor, embarrassed at losing the fight.

Javier's gaze fell to Ryan's stomach where a bright scar lit up his right side. Its rough edges showed a poor patch up job done all those years ago, stitching work not done in a hospital. He also had a few other, smaller scars across his shoulders, chest , and arms, evidence of a rough life. Guilt tugged hard at him, Esposito swallowed it away. "Wh… what's wrong with the shirt?"

Ryan held the shirt in front of him, "I don't like the Yankees." He said with a smirk, pointing at the team's symbol on its front.

Esposito rolled his eyes and dragged him back into the bedroom, passing him a plain back shirt. Ryan pulled it on and his hands were immediately cuffed. "What kind of New Yorker doesn't like the Yankees?" He grumbled as he clicked the restraints in place. "What's wrong with you?"

Ryan chuckled. "Sometimes I ask myself that question."

Esposito scowled, he was in no mood for Kevin's lighthearted jokes. "Well, at least you smell better."

"Yeah and something else smells good too, do you cook?"

He escorted Ryan back to the kitchen and sat him down at the table. "I can flip a burger… but that's about as far as it goes."

"You've come a long way from peanut butter and potato chips." Kevin grinned and Esposito couldn't help but laugh even though he was still furious. They were riding that see-saw again, Ryan seemed to jump between the extremes, it was giving Javier a head ache. He sat the burnt burger in front of him and Kevin grimaced. "Then again… you got any peanut butter?"

Javier's scowl returned. "You burnt it, you eat it." He snapped. Ryan groaned and covered his hamburger with enough ketchup to make it look like a murder.

A few hours later Esposito laid out several blankets across the carpet next to his bed. "I thought I was sleeping on the couch." Ryan stated as he watched.

Javier grabbed a pillow and threw it on the blankets. "You were, but thanks to your escape attempt I learned that I can't actually trust you." Ryan's face scrunched in disgust at the makeshift bed. "Would you prefer your own bench back in the holding cell?"

Ryan sighed and laid down on the blankets. Esposito unlocked one of his hands and cuffed him to the leg of the bed. "And don't even bother trying to escape again, I'm a very light sleeper." He grinned and flipped off the lights.

It was quiet for several minutes and Javier was just about ready to drift off when Ryan's voice cut through the air, just loud enough for him to hear. "I know you're disappointed in me Javi but I never wanted to be like this. I tried to fight it but…" He faded off and Esposito heard him shift.

Esposito stared at the dark ceiling. Kevin was worried about him being disappointed? After everything, that was what he regretted? Why wasn't Ryan angrier with him? Javier had ruined his life, he should be furious. But that wasn't Kevin Ryan. Even after it all, he still cared.

* * *

"I-I'm not so sure about this Javi." Kevin said nervously.

Javier placed the football helmet on his friends head. The uniform looked hilariously large on the skinny boy and the helmet did little to improve it, actually it kind of made him look like a bobble head. He tried hard to stifle a laugh as he pulled on his own helmet. "Come on, I held up my end of the bargain, passed my test with a B minus, now it's your turn."

"I don't know if you noticed but I'm kind of small." Kevin argued as he was pushed onto the school's field. "They'll kill me out there."

"Well what are you going to do when you become a cop? Run away from all the bad guys that are bigger than you?"

"I plan on being much taller by then." Kevin reasoned. "I'm sure I'll hit my growth spurt any day now, I'm hoping for at least six foot by the time I get to the academy."

Javier laughed. "Yeah, you and me both. Don't worry bro, I got your back."

"You promise?"

"Trust me. I'll always have your back."

And Kevin believed him. He finally stopped resisting and walked out to the other boys with a little more confidence. His faith in his new friend was unwavering.

The tryouts went fairly well, the coach ran them through several plays and put them in a practice game, pitting the boys against each other. Some of the larger ones did just as Kevin had predicted and picked on him to make themselves look better. Every time the whistle blew Kevin ended up on the receiving end of an unnecessarily hard tackle. But every time Kevin was shoved into the dirt he would get back up and brush it off, not once getting angry.

Javier, however, was not so forgiving. Anger boiled up from deep inside. The coach had placed him on the other side of the field, so he was unable to help his friend as promised, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He heard the group of boys making plans to take out Kevin for good, so Javi made plans of his own. When the whistle blew he cut straight across the field, ignoring the rest of the game. He had only one thing in his sights, the boy that was charging straight for Kevin.

He never saw Javier coming until the boy was struck in the side with enough force to knock even a grown man off his feet. Only inches from his target, the boy flew to the side, not even getting a chance to lay a hand on Kevin. His feet flipped over his head and his helmet dug up grass and dirt as he slid to a halt. Javier laughed. "Yeah that's right!" He cried. "You're going to eat dirt before you touch my friend again!"

Kevin and all the other boys froze in place as the boy groaned from the ground and Javier continued to laugh. "Javier Esposito!" The coach yelled. "I want you and your friend off my field. That is not how we play on this team."

"What?" Javi snapped. He tore off his helmet and chucked it to the ground. "That's not fair, they started it! Where were you when they were attacking Kev?" He stormed towards the coach, ready to pick a fight with the man until Kevin appeared in front of him.

"It's okay Javi." He said calmly. "See, I'm fine. You had my back." He smiled and for some reason, Javier's rage was instantly quelled.

Javier wrapped an arm around Kevin's shoulder and together they walked off the field. "Yeah, you're right bro, who needs 'em. You hungry? Because I could really go for some pizza."

Kevin sighed with relief. "Yeah, pizza sounds good."

"By the way, that uniform and helmet makes you look like a bobble head."

"Thanks man."

* * *

Esposito shot out of bed when he heard a loud noise. He peered over the edge in fear Ryan had made a break for it. But the Irishman hadn't moved, his legs stuck out from under the blankets and his cuffed arm pulled awkwardly to the side, his mouth hung open, he was fast asleep without a care in the world. Javier rubbed his eyes as the pounding noise persisted. He slowly made his way to the front door and pulled it open, glaring angrily at Castle's beaming face. "Castle." He grumbled. "It's too early for… well, you."

He held a bag out in front of him to soothe the tired beast. "I brought breakfast." He said slowly. "Donuts and coffee."

Well, he did like donuts. He stepped to the side and the writer entered. Esposito dug through the bag and pulled out a large chocolate glazed donut. "What do you want Castle?"

Rick glanced around the apartment noting that something was missing. "Uh, where is our little fugitive? He didn't run away did he?"

Esposito laughed. "Well, he certainly gave it his best effort." Castle raised an eyebrow and the detective shook his head. "Don't ask. He's in the bedroom, I made him sleep on the floor where I could keep an eye on him."

"Did he say anything else about the case yet?"

"No, I didn't want to push it."

Castle nodded. "That's probably a good idea. I know he's scared to talk. And he's got every right to be, I did some research on the drug trade here in the city, and the people who squeal usually end up dead… or worse."

"What's worse than dead Castle?"

"Use your imagination Espo."

"Javi!" Ryan's voice floated down the hall. "Javi… Javi I have to pee."

Esposito rolled his eyes. "I don't know what I was thinking." He grumbled. "It's like babysitting a five year old."

Castle smiled. "You were thinking that you wanted to help someone that you care about very much." Javier glared at him. "Hey, glare all you want but I know you care. I don't even know the whole story and I can see it." He fidgeted awkwardly, sometimes he forgot how observant the writer was. "You know this would make for a good plot line in one of my books. Your character could use a little more back story. Of course, it would help if I knew the whole story." He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Forget it Castle." Esposito snapped. "I'm not bearing my soul to you for the sake of another bestseller."

"Please." Richard whined.

"No!"

"Javi, I'm serious, I really have to pee." Ryan shouted again.

"In a minute!" Javier cried. He could only deal with one child at a time. He hadn't even had breakfast yet and he was getting a headache. He stormed back to his bedroom and dug some clothes out before unlocking Ryan's handcuffs. He placed the clothes in Kevin's hands and pushed him into the bathroom. Before he walked back to the kitchen, he stopped and grabbed the chair, shoving it under the door knob, he wasn't taking any risks. Castle watched him curiously. "Like I said, don't ask." He grumbled before digging into the bag for another donut.

Once Kevin was clean, dressed, and sitting at the table eating a powdered and jelly filled donut, Esposito left Castle in charge so he could get himself ready for work. "Don't let him out of your sight." He warned. The writer gave a dramatic salute and sat at the opposite end of the table.

After his shower Javier came out to hear the two deep in conversation. "No, no no, that's not right." Ryan was saying. "You can't just make stuff up Castle." Esposito's chest tightened. What if Castle had gone to Ryan for information on his past? Did he really want the information so desperately to go behind his back?

"I'm telling you the truth, it was a nineteenth century bullet so I figured the only explanation was a time travelling killer." The writer's words made Javier relax, they were only talking about an old case.

Ryan shook his head. "But if it was a time travelling killer there wouldn't have been rust on the bullet. It would have been brand new."

"Not unless time travel causes rust."

"You're both idiots." Esposito scoffed, making his presence known. "There was no time travel involved in that case." Javier rubbed at his neck, he remembered the case all too well.

"Yeah I know." Castle sighed with disappointment. "It would have made the story so much better. So are you guys ready? Beckett texted a few minutes ago, she wanted to know if we were on our way."

"She sure does keep you guys on a short leash doesn't she?" Ryan laughed when both men scowled at him. "Hey, I'm just saying, if I worked for her, I wouldn't let her boss me around like that."

Esposito pulled on his jacket. "Please bro, you would be the most whipped out of all of us. You can't sell that tough guy crap on me, I know better."

Kevin followed him into the elevator. "So you're admitting it, you're whipped too."

Javier froze. "Shut up." It was the best comeback he could come up with as the doors closed.

* * *

"What do you want to do today?"

Javier watched the cars pass in front of his apartment building. It was late in the fall on a lazy Friday evening. The two young friends sat on the building's steps, tossing an old football back and forth. "I don't know… what do you want to do?"

Kevin bit his lip. "If we had made that football team, we'd be at practice right now, getting ready for the game tonight. I'm sorry Javi."

He tossed the ball and Javier caught it. The thing was half deflated, he had been looking forward to playing with a new ball but that hardly mattered to him now. "Don't sweat it bro. Who wants to be on a team of assholes anyway?" He tossed the ball to Kevin, he missed the catch and fumbled with the ball until it disappeared over the side of the steps. "Hm… it might have been for the best anyway, you stink bro."

Kevin gave a sideways grin and hopped off the stairs to search for the ball. "Sorry Javi." He said again when he returned.

"Would you stop apologizing, it's annoying."

"Oh… sorry. So what do you want to do?"

Javier sighed. "This is New York City, there has to be something to do." He scanned the street and leaned forward on his elbows. "I'm hungry, let's go get something." He didn't give Kevin a chance to object before he grabbed his arm and drug him down the street and around the corner.

They found themselves in a small convenience store, listening to old music on the speakers and browsing the shelves of snacks. Kevin itched at a bandage on his arm, it covered a scrape he'd gotten during the try-outs, and shifted on his feet. "Uh, Javi… I don't have any money, do you?"

Javier picked out a candy bar and a package of jerky. "Don't worry about it, just pick something." Kevin did as he was told. He pulled down a bag of chips but Javier grabbed it from his hands and put it back. "Too noisy, pick something else." He ordered.

Kevin stared at him in confusion. "Javi what-"

"I said don't worry." Javier grabbed two more candy bars and lifted Kevin's shirt, tucking the candy in the hem of his pants. "No money, no problem." He said with a smirk.

The Irish boy's bright eyes widened. "We can't do that, that's stealing!"

Javier clapped a hand over his friend's mouth. "Shhhh!" he hissed before peering around the shelving to look at the man behind the counter. He was too busy watching a game on the small television beside the cash register to pay the boys any attention. "Of course it's stealing." He continued when he knew it was safe. He tucked the jerky away under his old sweatshirt and rolled it down. "We're kids without jobs, how else do they expect us to be able to eat anything. Are you thirsty?"

Kevin shook his head. "No, no I'm not. And I'm not hungry either, we should put this back." He followed Javier to the refrigerators, walking awkwardly with the candy bars in his pants. "Can we go?"

"In a minute." He browsed the drink selection and pulled out two sodas. He tucked one away and lifted Kevin's shirt again.

"Would you stop doing that!" He snapped, pulling away. "I am not a shopping cart."

"No, but you're skinnier, you've got more room to hide stuff. Now quit whining." Kevin gasped when a cold drink was shoved under his shirt. "Okay, now act natural." Javier grabbed one more package and shoved it up the back of his shirt before they made their way to the front.

"Javi, I don't want to do this." He whispered as they got closer to the clerk. He clung nervously to Javier's arm.

He shook him away. "Stop it! Play it cool." They reached the counter and Javier dropped a single candy bar in front of the bored looking man. He placed on a smile, before searching through his pockets. "Aw man." He said in fake exasperation. "Looks like I forgot my wallet at home, sorry man."

He smiled again and the man narrowed his eyes. "You okay kid?" He asked, nodding towards Kevin. "You're looking a little pale."

Javier laughed. "He's fine. He always looks like that." He nudged Kevin in the ribs and he nodded in agreement. "Thank you sir." He added sweetly before they walked out the door. The boys raced down the street and turned the corner.

Javier laughed out loud but Kevin still looked pale as a sheet. "I don't want to do that again." He said, unloading the food from his clothes.

The Hispanic bit into one of the candy bars. "Why not? You're a natural at it."

"I'm no thief." He countered with a pout. "And neither are you Javi, you're better than that."

Javi laughed again. "Please, stealing is what I'm best at. I'm not smart like you." He handed the candy to Kevin, who took it reluctantly.

"I don't believe that." He said through a bite. "I don't believe that one bit. You and me, we're going to be something one day. And it's going to be on the right side of the law. You'll see." Javier stared at his friend as he struggled to open the package of jerky. The funny thing was, he felt like Kevin actually believed it.


	4. Let's Talk

Chapter 4:

Let's Talk

"He looks better today." Kate broke into his thoughts as Esposito poured two cups of coffee in the break room. He and Beckett looked out at Ryan and Castle sitting at Javier's desk, they were currently arguing about another case Castle had brought up.

Espo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I think he slept the whole night. The withdrawals don't seem to be hitting him so hard today."

"Castle said you made him sleep on the floor." Kate grinned into her coffee.

"He tried to jump out the window." He explained sharply. "I had to put him where I could watch him. I'm not letting him out of my sight again."

Beckett chuckled. "I think it's sweet."

"What?" Javi snapped. "What's sweet?"

She shrugged. "You really care about him. I've never seen you like this before. You're like a big brother watching over his troubled kid brother. You're tough on him but protective… it's sweet."

He took a large drink of his coffee to hide his reddening cheeks. He stared into the cup. "It's not that. I feel more like a guilty thief than a big brother. Ryan was really going places, his dream was to become a cop, and he would have been great at it. But then… then I stole that all away from him. He should be the one standing here with a badge… and I should be the one in cuffs, it would have made more sense."

Kate listened closely. "Espo, you're pretty damn good cop yourself." She said gently. "I don't think either of you should be in cuffs." Her gaze drifted over the bullpen. "You were right, he's not a bad guy. He's just sort of lost." He soft brown eyes fell back on him. "What happened between you two Javi? What are you not telling us?"

He shifted on his feet. He wanted to confess, to tell her everything. He'd never told anyone before. But she would never look at him the same again. Even if it was only for a little while longer, he didn't want her to see him for what he really was. A coward. "It's nothing. I think he might be more open to talking today. But, if we could do it out of the interrogation room, I think that would help."

Kate nodded. "Yes, that's fine." She smiled. "We'll follow your lead. We wouldn't want little brother to throw another temper tantrum."

He rolled his eyes. "Stop it." He warned. Esposito grabbed the coffees and headed out the door to the bullpen.

Beckett followed. "Oh, what's wrong, is big brother angry?" She teased.

"Wow, so there was really a tiger?" Ryan was asking when they walked over. He was hanging on the writer's every word. "So how did you guys get out?"

"Well that's where it really gets interesting- Oh! Hey Beckett. I was just telling Ryan here about-"

"I heard." She crossed her arms. "I hope you're not giving him any wrong ideas about when we were handcuffed together."

Ryan laughed when Castle waggled his eyebrows seductively. "It's nothing that wasn't true."

Kevin narrowed his eyes. "Are you two together?"

Esposito sighed heavily. "Let's not get that started." He sat down and moved closer to Ryan, his cuffed hands were hooked to the desk so there was nowhere for him to run. "Kev, we need to talk."

Beckett sat on the desk behind them and nodded. Ryan sighed. "Not this again. I'm not talking. If that's the only reason I'm here instead of in the cell than you may as well just send me back down there. I'm no rat."

"Why don't we start small?" Castle said. "Can you tell us why you were at Sharp's place yesterday?"

"I didn't kill him!" Kevin spat.

"Well, if you want us to believe that then you have to give us something." Beckett reasoned. "None of this is going on record Ryan, it's just between us."

He fidgeted in his chair. Javier noticed him pulling at the cuffs, he wanted to run. "I…" His eyes darted and his restlessness grew. Esposito was starting to question if this behavior was due to more than just the drugs. The need to escape would get stronger whenever the case came up. "I don't want to do this." He said, head dropping. Javier had seen this kind of behavior before when he was in the military.

"Just take it easy." Esposito said gently. He leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're not here to make things harder. We just want to know what happened. Like Castle said, we'll start small. Did you go to the penthouse to talk to Sharp? Was he a friend?" Ryan snorted in contempt. That obviously wasn't the right answer. "Okay, was it for a job? Were you running drugs for him?"

Ryan shifted again. "I don't work for him anymore. I used to. But I was pulled off his list of runners the second time he broke my leg."

"He broke your leg?" Javier snapped angrily. "More than once?"

Ryan laughed it off. "Yeah. He got angry when I almost lost some of his supply."

It was Javier's turn to fidget. "Suddenly I'm not sure how much I want to solve this thing."

"Who pulled you off his list?" Beckett asked. Kevin tensed. "Who has the power to do that Ryan?"

"Was it the same guy that was protecting Sharp?" Castle asked.

Kevin pushed his chair away from the desk, his cuffs pulling sharply. "I- I can't." He stuttered.

"Okay, easy." Beckett said gently. "Let's go back to the apartment. What job were you there for if you weren't on his list of runners anymore?"

"I was… I was sent there to deliver his share of the profit. It's actually a high honor to be trusted with the money, they've never let me do that before."

"So they trusted you." Javier leaned back in his chair. "There's someone out there that trusts you enough to let you handle the money. What else do they trust you to do Kevin?"

Ryan smiled. "Plenty." He said proudly. "I like it when I get to go up to the offices, makes me feel important."

"Up to the offices?" Castle questioned. "What offices?" Kevin snapped his mouth shut and drew his arms and legs in, retreating.

Beckett sighed and motioned for Javier to step aside with her. Castle started telling Ryan more case stories to help ease him. "Javi, we're not getting anywhere here. If anything we only have more questions. He has to give us something or Captain Gates is going to drop him back in to holding."

"I know but something is very wrong here." His eyes shifted back to his old friend. Castle was trying his best but Ryan had shut himself off. He had pushed his chair as far from the desk as he could manage and his leg bounced restlessly. "Look at him Beckett, I know that behavior, I've seen that behavior. I thought it was just the drugs at first but now I'm not so sure." He ran a hand down his face as she gave him a questioning look. "War prisoners." He answered simply. "Prisoners of war that were tortured, both mentally and physically often exhibited behavior like that after rescue. We'd try to question them about they're imprisonment and they would always withdraw. You want to keep someone from talking you make them afraid. So that even when they're free they're far too afraid to speak a word."

Beckett's gaze drifted to Ryan, picking up on where her detective was going. "You think Ryan was tortured, to keep him under control. That's why he keeps drawing away from us."

"Exactly. I think whoever he was working for did whatever they could to make sure he never gives them up. If we push too hard, Ryan is just going to break. And I can't let that happen, whether Gates likes it or not."

Kate smiled. "I know Javi, you just can't fight those big brother instincts." Esposito rolled his eyes. She tapped her foot as she thought. "You just let me worry about Gates, you take care of Ryan. Okay?"

"Thanks Beckett."

She nodded. "So who do you think it was? Who did all this to him? Who tortured him?"

"I don't know." Javier grumbled deeply. "But when I find out they better hope I don't get my hands on them. I won't let them lay a finger on him again."

Ryan let out a laugh across the room. Castle must have finally gotten through to him. "Don't worry Espo." Beckett said as they watched the Irishman. "As long as he's with us, he's safe."

* * *

"Put your hands where I can see them!"

Kevin's hands shot into the air. His books fell to the floor and papers scattered around his feet. He was frozen in fear but relaxed instantly when familiar laughter sounded from behind him. Javier dropped to the lockers beside him, still cackling like a hyena. "That's not funny Javi." Kevin grumbled.

He gathered his fallen papers. "Yes it is, it's hilarious." Javier said through gasps of breath. "You need to relax bro, you've been tense all week."

"I'm not just tense!" Kevin snapped. "I can't sleep, I can't eat. Every time I hear a knock at the door I think it's the police, my parents would be so disappointed if they knew what I did."

Javier rolled his eyes. "Bro, they're not going to send the police after us for a couple of candy bars. I've stolen worse before."

Kevin straightened. "That doesn't make me feel better." His eyes narrowed. "What did you steal?" He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

Javier smiled proudly. "I've got a knack for hotwiring cars. I'm pretty good at it, I could teach you sometime."

Kevin placed a hand over his stomach. "No thank you, just thinking about it makes me feel sick. I'm not doing anything like that with you again. I can't become a cop if I have a record."

He slung a hand around the nervous boy's neck as the two made their way down the busy school hall. "You have to lighten up a little. Stop being such a nerd and have some fun."

"I have fun." He squeaked in defense. "Like just a few weeks ago I went to a pretty big party."

"Dude, it was your sister's birthday party, that doesn't count. I was there and it was boring, just a bunch of girls sitting around talking. The girls were pretty hot though."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were there. You spilled juice all over one of my sister's friends."

A wicked grin crossed the Hispanic's face. "If its parties you want, I can get us into some killer parties."

Kevin didn't have to think it over for too long. "I'll pass." He said quickly.

Javier shook his head. "Nope, too late I've already made the plans. I'll introduce you to my other friends, I think they'll like you, once they get passed the whole nerd thing." He pulled at Kevin's shirt. "Just make sure you ditch the sweater vest, I don't want you embarrassing me too much."

Kevin sighed. "I don't have a choice do I?" Javi shook his head. "Okay fine, but you have to come somewhere with me too, next week."

Javier narrowed his eyes. "Where?"

The Irish boy smiled widely. "It'll be fun, trust me."

He opened his mouth to protest, unsure if Kevin's idea of fun would actually be fun, but he was interrupted when a group of boys stepped in front of them. "Well, well. If it isn't little Kevin and his boyfriend." The largest of them said. Javier recognized him instantly, he was the boy he'd knocked over during the football tryouts.

"Leave me alone Henry." Kevin said boldly, pushing past them.

"I don't think so." Henry sneered. He looked around, the halls were emptying as kids found their classes. Pretty soon they were alone and the boy saw his chance. He grabbed a handful of Kevin's shirt, pushing him into two other boys, who held his arms. His books fell to the floor again. "I still owe the dirty little Mexican for what he did to me at the tryouts. He made me look like an idiot." He sneered, crowding into Javier's space.

"I'm not Mexican dumbass." Javier hissed, not flinching as the larger boy towered over him. "Maybe you should get yourself a map, but that would only do you any good if you can actually read."

Henry shoved Javier. "I don't care what you are." He gave him another shove. "Because all you are to me is a poor, dirty, little nobody." He grinned as Javier's hands balled into fists. "I heard your daddy ran out on you a long time ago. I don't blame him, just look at you. Is your mommy as dirty as you are?" Javier saw red, he lashed out before he knew what happened. But that was what the boy was hoping for. He dodged his punch and two more boys were on Javier in a second, holding him down. Henry slammed a fist into Javier's stomach and he doubled over.

He coughed and sputtered but straightened, unwilling to give in. "I'm not afraid of you." He hissed, "You're nothing but a spoiled piece of shit."

Henry fumed. He pulled his arm back for another punch but he never got a chance. Someone grabbed his arm and spun him around, slamming a fist into his nose. The large boy crumpled like a piece of paper and his nose started leaking blood. Kevin stood over him, shaking his now sore hand. "Owww." He whined. "Man it doesn't look like it hurts that much when you see someone do that on TV." How he'd broken out of the other boys' grasp, Javier wasn't sure, but he took the moment of surprise as his own chance to break free. He elbowed the boy on his right and pushed away the one on his left. He grabbed Kevin's wrist and took off down the hall. "We're running?" He questioned from behind.

"Hey, I'm not stupid. I know when I'm outnumbered. And seven to two is definitely outnumbered. We run now, get our revenge later."

"Get them!" He heard Henry roar from behind.

They fled down the hall and around the corner. They knew finding a teacher wouldn't do them any good, who would believe them over the star quarterback. They burst out the front doors and down the steps, ducking off into a nearby alleyway. Footsteps echoed as the group approached and flew by. Kevin and Javier stayed put until they were sure it was clear and they had caught their racing breaths. When it was safe Javier began to laugh. "Dude!" He cried. "That punch was awesome! How'd you learn to do that?"

Kevin shrugged. "I don't know. I just got so angry and it sort of just… happened."

"I didn't know you had it in you bro." Javier declared proudly. "Sweater vest here has got some skills, who knew?"

Kevin grinned proudly. "I certainly didn't."

* * *

The sound of wheels on hard wood floor rolled by Esposito's desk as he tried to focus on his computer screen. A few seconds later they rolled by in the opposite direction and he cringed. When they passed by a third time he was rubbing at his forehead. Before they could roll by again he grabbed Ryan by the arm and stopped his chair in place. "Stop. Now." He growled in warning. He was really beginning to regret unlocking the Irishman from his desk.

"Sorry." Ryan pulled at the cuffs that attached him to the chair. "But I'm really bored. Where are Beckett and Castle?"

Javier focused back on his screen. "They're following a lead. Talking to the employees at Sharp's shipping company."

"Hm, that's actually a good plan but most of the employees didn't know a thing. If they want to find anything they should talk to the guy that signs for the cargo, it was his job to separate the regular shipments from the ones hidden with drugs."

Esposito stared at him. He always chose the worst times to share information. He wished Kevin would just spill everything he knew, it would make this a lot easier. "And why didn't you just tell us that earlier?" He asked as he sent a quick text to Beckett.

Ryan shrugged. "Didn't think of it." He rolled closer to Javier and looked over his shoulder. "And what are you doing?"

"Looking through Sharp's financials for anything suspicious. I was thinking maybe he owed someone money or received a large sum of money. There might be a reason someone wanted to kill him in here."

"That's a good idea too but you won't find anything there, Sharp dealt only in cash when it came to his dirty money. He was stupid but at least he was cautious."

Esposito hit the mouse a little too hard as he exited out of the screen. "And why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Ryan shrugged and opened his mouth. "No, wait." He interrupted. "Let me guess. You didn't think of it."

Kevin backed his chair up, picking up on Javi's irritation. "No, actually I did think of it, I just didn't know that's what you were doing. I'm not a mind reader."

Esposito shot out of his chair and Ryan flinched. He must have thought he was going to get hit but of course, he didn't. Javier grabbed the back of the Irishman's chair and drug him over to the murder board. "Just tell me one thing." Javier said as he leaned against Beckett's desk. "Do you know who killed Sharp?" Ryan bit down hard on his lip. Javi held up his hands in surrender. "You don't have to give me any names, I just want to know if you have an idea." His gaze fell to the floor and he tugged at the cuffs. Javier waited as patiently as he could. Slowly, a bright blue gaze drifted up to the board, landing on the evidence bag holding the pendant held in Sharp's hand. Esposito pulled it down. "This belongs to our killer?" He questioned, starting to feel like little Timmy talking to Lassie. "We didn't get any prints off of it." He said as he flipped the bag over. "But I found out it's an old Chinese coin, not even used in circulation anymore."

"It's a good luck charm." Ryan said quietly.  
"Yeah? And who would wear something so stupid?" Esposito scoffed.

"Someone superstitious… very superstitious. He's probably pretty freaked that he lost it." Kevin grinned at the thought.

"Who's freaked?" The smile vanished and a gaze returned to the floor. Javier sighed. "You know it's actually a crime to withhold information from the police."

Ryan's eyes snapped up and he smirked. "What are you going to do officer? Arrest me?" He shook his cuffed hands. "Oh, wait, you already did."

Esposito chuckled before straightening. "Kev, I…" An officer walked by and he paused. He fidgeted and unlocked Ryan's cuffs. Once they were alone in the conference room Esposito shut the door and pulled a chair up to his old friend. "Kev," He began again. "I know you're scared." Ryan's eyes shifted. "I can see it. I really want to help you but I need you to trust me. If you talk to me maybe we can get you some help. Someone did something to you, what was it? Torture?"

Kevin stiffened at the word. He jumped out of his chair, instantly agitated. "What gives you the right?" He roared. "I haven't seen you in over fifteen years and you just come here and think we're going to be best friends again? You don't know what I've been through these past years!"

"Well, that's what I'm trying to-"

"I've been through hell Javi! Hell!" Ryan grabbed his shirt and shook him. He was yelling but tears filled his eyes. "I'm in to deep, I can't get out Javi. I can't do anything to stop them and neither can you."

He pried Ryan's hands away from his shirt and eased him back into his chair. He was shaking again, the man was a mess. "You're safe here Kev, you can tell me. I'll keep you safe."

Kevin shook his head. "No, I'm not. You don't understand. I'm not safe here, I'm not safe anywhere." He sighed. "You'll have to solve your murder without me. I'm sorry."

"I don't care about the damn murder." Esposito snapped. "I want to help you Kevin. I can get you out from under these people, if you would just tell me who they are."

Ryan wiped at his eyes and cracked a smile. "Feeling guilty?"

"Feeling pissed." He hissed before grinning. "They'll eat dirt before they touch my friend again."

Ryan laughed loudly, "Bro, you're still just as protective as ever."

Esposito's phone buzzed in his pocket. "Esposito." He answered.

"Hey Espo." Beckett said from the other end. "I need your backup, Ryan's tip was good. The guy that signs for Sharp's shipments didn't show up for work today and was acting pretty strange yesterday. I think he knows something and I need your help bringing him in."

Javier glanced to Kevin, he stood and stepped out of the room. "I can't leave Kevin alone, he's not doing good Kate, and I sure as hell can't take him with me."

He could hear her smile from the other end. "I know, I already thought of that. But don't worry, I sent someone very trustworthy to babysit."

As if on cue, the elevator doors opened and Castle walked back into the precinct. "Castle?" Esposito spat. "But he's-"

"He's great with Kevin." Kate interrupted. "And Kevin looks up to him, favorite author and all that. He'll be fine." She rambled off the address as if everything was settled and hung up the phone.

Castle stopped in front of him. "Reporting for babysitting duties sir!" He said with a mock salute.

"I don't like this Castle." Javier grumbled. "But Beckett needs me so I guess I don't have a choice."

Rick grinned. "Don't worry Espo, I got this." He placed a hand on the Hispanic's shoulder but pulled it away when he received a harsh glare. "I won't let Kevin out of my sight. I promise."

"Kev!" Esposito called, catching the Irishman's attention. "I have to leave for a little while." He said as they all walked to his desk. He grabbed his gun and badge and holstered them on. "I'm leaving you with Castle, don't cause him any trouble, got it?"

"I'm not a child." Ryan whined.

"No, not technically, but you are a suspect under my custody, who's tried to run once already." He paused and looked them both over. They were giving him matching 'don't worry Javi, it's all good' grins, they looked like idiots. He shook his head and grabbed Ryan's cuffs, he unlocked one wrist and snapped the end down on Castle's arm. The grins vanished and they both stared at him in surprise. "Sorry, I don't trust either of you." He explained before taking off for the elevator. "And do not leave this precinct under any circumstances until I get back." He shouted. "Got it?"

Castle gave him a thumbs up, pulling Ryan's arm along with it. "Wait!" the writer yelled as the elevator doors started to close. "What if we have to pee?... Espo? Esposito!"

* * *

Javier groaned loudly as the elevator doors closed. "You tricked me Kevin." He growled.

"Yes I did." The teenager smiled proudly. "But you already promised you would come, you don't have a choice. Come on, you're going to have fun."

Javi wrinkled his nose. "How can I have fun with a bunch of cops? I don't like cops."

Kevin chuckled. "Come on Javi, it's just a ride along. We get to spend the whole day with a couple of police officers. I've been looking forward to this for a long time so don't ruin it."

"The whole day?" Esposito gave a bored sigh. "Alright, whatever. Where are we anyway?" He looked around the bland elevator as the numbers above the door rose.

Kevin looked over a paper in his hands. "This is the… 12th precinct, I'm supposed to meet with two officers. They're partners."

Javier snorted. "Partners… sounds stupid."

Kevin ignored him. "But I can't remember which floor I was supposed to go to." He flipped the paper and shrugged. "I guess we'll just figure it out." The elevator rang and the doors slid open.

Kevin stepped out, barely able to contain his excitement. Javier followed him, rolling his eyes and still looking bored. The boys walked down a short hallway and into a large area where desks sat and detectives milled about. Kevin tried in vain to get someone's attention but they were all too busy. Javier fidgeted uncomfortably among so many cops. He had been trained to avoid cops, to hate cops. And now here he was in their very home. Even worse, he was friends with someone who wanted to become a cop. What was he thinking?

They stood in the middle of the busy precinct looking a little defeated. "I don't get it." Javier said with a shake of his head. "Why do you want to be a cop? It looks exhausting."

"Well that's easy." Kevin said with a smile. "Because I want to help people."

"Why? What did anyone ever do for you?"

"They don't have to do anything for me Javi. I just want to help."

Javier shrugged. "I still don't get it." He stepped up to a board that held several pictures of a crime scene. "I would make a terrible cop." He reasoned.

Kevin looked up from his paper and laughed. "What? You'd make an amazing cop."

Javi crossed his arms. "Would not." He shot in defense. "I believe in the saying 'every man for himself'. I wouldn't know how to protect people."

His friend laughed again. "Javi, you've got the protective instincts of a German Shepard."

He narrowed his eyes. "Are you comparing me to a dog?"

"You know what I mean. Do I have to remind you of the football tryouts? Weren't you the one who tackled that moron Henry into the dirt because he was about to hurt me? Now what does that remind me of… oh yeah, that's right, a cop!" Kevin grinned, knowing he had won the argument.

Javier shifted on his feet. "Yeah maybe, or maybe I'm just a coward."

Kevin's nose scrunched. "Nah, I don't think so."

"Hey! Check that out!" Javier pointed to a pair of detectives as they ushered a man down the hall in handcuffs. His eyes fell on the badges and guns that glinted at their waists. "That looks cool. I want to do that. Maybe being a cop wouldn't be so dorky after all."

"What are you two doing here?" A booming voice made them jump. A tall, black man with a mustache under his nose stood in front of them with his arms crossed.

"I uh…" Kevin's mouth hung open, he sputtered, intimidated by the man's presence. "We just uh…"

Javier grabbed the paper and handed it to the man. "We're supposed to meet some officers for a ride along today." He said firmly, pushing his chest out to make himself look bigger.

"Uh, yeah what he said."

The man took the paper and looked it over. A warm, friendly smile crossed his face. "Sorry about that, didn't mean to startle you. But you boys are in the wrong spot, this is the homicide division, you need to go two floors down."

Kevin accepted the paper as it was handed back. "Oh… sorry. Uh, thank you sir."

He smiled again. "No problem, if you get lost again, just come back up here and I'll be happy to point you in the right direction. My desk is right over there."

Kevin extended a hand. "Thank you sir."

The man shook his hand. "No problem, now you two stay out of trouble. Okay?"

"Yes sir." Kevin said excitedly, looking like a kid on Christmas. It was embarrassing. They walked back to the elevator and he was still grinning like an idiot. "The homicide division. He must have been a homicide detective. That is so cool! Can you imagine Javi, solving murders for a living?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess that would be pretty cool."

"This is going to be so much fun!" Kevin bounced in place and Javier rolled his eyes as the doors closed on them. He had been so cool the other day when he punched that kid in the face and now look at him. He couldn't believe he was friends with such a nerd.


	5. Turkey and Jam Sandwiches

Chapter 5:

Turkey and Jam Sandwiches

Samuel Brent was the name of the man who processed Sharp's shipments of drugs. He had been hiding out at his apartment since the day before and was more than a little surprised when two detectives showed up at his door. He tried to run, Beckett was right to call for backup. He scaled the fire escape with Esposito hot on his heels. Kate caught him at the bottom and tackled him to the ground. Now, after all the excitement, they were headed back to the precinct with the criminal in tow. Javier checked his phone. Beckett sighed. "Don't worry Espo, Castle will call if anything is wrong."

"Castle is a push over and Ryan is pretty convincing when he wants to be. What if he tricks Castle into letting him go?"

"Come on, give him a little more credit than that. He's not an idiot… not completely anyway."

"Yeah, I guess." Javier sighed and relaxed into the seat. "And besides, I have the key to the cuffs, there's no way they're getting out of those without me."

Beckett gave him a confused glance before her eyes widened. "You cuffed them together? Javi!"

"What?" He snapped. "I'm was just making sure Ryan couldn't get away."

She shook her head and grinned. "Although, it is kind of a funny picture. I hope they're not terrorizing the precinct too much."

As it turned out, they weren't terrorizing the precinct at all. The two detectives returned to find neither Ryan nor the writer he was cuffed to. All Javier found was a note on his desk in Castle's handwriting that read; ' _Espo, got bored. Went for a bite to eat. Be back in a while._ ' He crumpled it angrily and tossed it away. "I'm going to kill him!" He roared, pulling out his phone. He nearly punched his fingers through the screen as he dialed Castle's number. Beckett carted their suspect off to interrogation while the phone rang.

"Hello." Castle answered casually.

"Castle!" Esposito roared, turning a few heads in the precinct. "I ordered you not to leave the precinct!"

"We got hungry." He whined. "And bored, there's not a lot to do around there when you guys are gone."

"So you risked losing Ryan because you were bored?" He seethed.

"Calm down Espo, he's fine. He's still on the end of my wrist… not that we have much of a choice. Here…" He heard the phone pull away and Castle's voice grow distant. "Say hi Kev."

"Hey Javi!" Ryan cried excitedly into the receiver. Kate returned and he put the phone on speaker. "Did you get your guy?"

"You had better get back here right now Kevin! This isn't a game!"

"Wow, you sound stressed, you need to relax." The smirk was clear in his voice.

"Where are you?"

"At Castle's place, we tried to go for something to eat but the handcuffs were kind of drawing attention, so we came here. Castle is making some sandwiches instead."

"Ryan, can we talk to Castle again?" Beckett asked calmly, interrupting another rant from her furious detective.

"Sure! Hold on."

There was a slight pause as the phone was moved again. "Hey Beckett! Did you get your guy?" Castle asked.

Esposito opened his mouth to yell but Kate held up a finger. "Castle, what were you thinking?" She asked, her voice even and calm. "Espo is about ready to skin you alive."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Sorry Espo. Please don't kill me. I'm keeping a good eye on him. I promise." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "And he seems to be in a lot better mood, he even told me that the coin was a good luck charm probably belonging to our killer."

Javier rolled his eyes. "He already told me that."

"Oh… well, I'll try and get more." The phone cut off before Esposito could order him to bring Ryan back.

"Cas- Castle!" Javier roared.

"Calm down." Beckett said gently when Esposito's eye started to twitch. "We'll question our suspect and then we'll go down to Castle's. No harm done."

He took a calming breath, "No Beckett, harm done." He said before storming towards the interrogation room. "I'm going to kill him. I'm definitely going to kill him!"

Kate grinned and followed. "You're in trouble now Castle."

* * *

"Viola! My special, turkey, swiss cheese, and strawberry jam sandwiches." Castle dropped the plate in front of Ryan and grinned.

Kevin lifted the bread and eyed the food suspiciously. "Wait, strawberry jam, I thought it was just plain turkey."

"It was but then I added the jelly, trust me it makes it better." The writer moved to the fridge, pulling on Ryan's cuffs. The Irishman was tugged off his stool and stumbled into the counter. "Sorry." Castle cringed.

Kevin rubbed his side. "It's okay. I've had my fair share of bumps and bruises, no need to worry." He slipped back on the stool and took a hesitant bite of the sandwich. "mmm, it's good."

Castle smiled. "See, I told you." The smile faded as he processed Ryan's words. "What do you mean you've had your fair share of bumps and bruises?"

Ryan swallowed, he was already halfway through the sandwich. "I just meant I've been through worse." He lifted his shirt. "See this." He pointed to a scar, a few inches long, high on his left side. "Got that when someone decided not to pay for his delivery. Came at me with a knife. And this." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a round scar. "Shot in the arm, finished the job before I went to the hospital." Castle cringed and Kevin laughed. "It's not so bad, that's the only time I've been shot, and I've been on the bad end of a gun more times than I care to count."

"You must be quite the fighter to have survived all of that."

"Not really." Ryan shoved another bite of sandwich in his mouth, jelly ran down his chin. "I mean I'm alright, I can throw a punch, but I'm mostly quick on my feet. The real world isn't as thrilling as your books, you're better off to run than to stay and fight."

"What about that one?" Castle asked, noticing the edge of a particular bright scar on his right side where his shirt had stayed hitched up. "What's that from?"

Kevin grinned, wiping at his face. "Well that's my first one but that's not my story to tell." He pulled the shirt down. "You'll have to ask Javi about that one."

Castle opened his mouth to question it but stopped when he was hit with a hard glare. "Okay, fair enough. You know Ryan, I'd love to put a character like you in my book."

Kevin's eyes widened excitedly. "Really?" He gasped.

"Yes of course, would that be alright?"

The Irishman nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! I'd love that." He stared into space and popped the last bit of sandwich in his mouth. "I can't believe I'm going to be in one of Richard Castle's books."

"You may be in more than one. You're quite the character Ryan."

Kevin's pale cheeks blushed. "Oh, I don't know about that. I'm sure you'll be bored with me after a few paragraphs." He lifted his plate and held it out. "Can I have another?"

Rick reached for the plate but stopped when he realized how much it was shaking. Ryan's hand trembled wildly. "Are you okay?" He asked slowly.

"I'm fine." He lied.

Castle pressed his hand to the other man's forehead. "Are you sure? You're a little… clamy."

Kevin batted him away. "I'm fine… it's just the withdrawal still. They make me a little shaky." He wrapped his one free arm around himself. "And cold… everything sort of hurts too. But it's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you've got some drugs lying around… I could really, really use a hit right about now."

Castle glanced around the apartment as if he half expected to see a pile of something just lying around. "Uh… sorry, no." He took the plate. "But I could make you another sandwich."

Ryan smiled. "Alright, I suppose that's good too." He was forced to stand and follow Castle as he gathered the supplies again. His eyes wandered the loft as the writer worked. "This is a pretty nice place you've got here. I should have been a writer instead of going into the drug business."

Rick laughed. "Well, it does pay better." He swallowed and decided to ask the question that had been bothering him. "Why did you get into drugs anyway? I mean, you seem intelligent, and gentle natured. What would make you get into the business?"  
Kevin fidgeted. "I never intended to." He said quietly. "I actually wanted to be a cop." Castle's eyebrows shot up but he didn't interrupt. "But when they gave me my first hit, I couldn't stop. They did everything to make sure I wouldn't… couldn't leave them. So, before I knew it I was trapped inside without an escape."

"How do they keep you from leaving?" Castle asked slowly after they had sat back at the counter.

Ryan stared at the new sandwich. "Fear, mostly. Not all of my scars are from accidents." He didn't need more of an explanation.

He watched Ryan scarf down a second sandwich, thinking of how best to approach the questions that still lingered when the door suddenly swung open. Both men spun in their chairs when voices filled the loft. "I'm just not sure I should have bought the necklace too." Alexis was saying.

"Oh darling, you had to." Martha declared. "It just matches the dress so well." Both of their arms were weighed down by shopping bags. "You're going to look simply lovely at that party."

The women stopped when they noticed the two men sitting at the counter. Castle pulled his hand behind his back and Ryan's along with it. "Mother, Alexis." He greeted. "I thought you would be out shopping all day."

Martha dropped her bags. "Well we were but I just had to come back and rehearse for that audition I have tonight. I'm still a little nervous about it."

"Dad, who's your friend?" Alexis asked, her eyes on Ryan.

Castle fidgeted. "This is uh… he's uh…"

"Kevin Ryan." The Irishman greeted. "I'm a friend of Javier's?"

Alexis smiled and bounced up to the pair. "Oh, Detective Esposito! Cool. It's nice to meet you." She took his hand and shook it warmly. Her gaze drifted to the plate. "Hey, turkey and strawberry jam. Yum." She moved around the counter and started making a sandwich for herself. "I'm Alexis by the way and that's Martha."

"My mother and daughter." Castle clarified.

Kevin nodded. "I see." He grinned. "So you live with your mother."

"She lives with me." The writer snapped quickly.

Martha rolled her eyes. "Oh not this again."

"Daddy, what are you doing?" Alexis asked. She glanced between the two men who were both pulled towards each other uncomfortably. "You're sitting weird, why are you doing that?"

"Nothing." He couldn't help but laugh awkwardly. Castle pulled nervously on the cuffs. It was a bad idea, it threw Ryan off kilter again, his stool tipped and he fell to the floor, pulling Castle with him. They crash landed in a pile.

"Richard." Martha gasped. "Are you wearing handcuffs? Explain yourself! Are you in trouble?"

Castle pushed himself off Kevin. "It's not what you think."

* * *

"Samuel Brent." Esposito grumbled. He sat stiffly next to Beckett in the interrogation room.

The thirty-something man fidgeted in the seat across the table. "Sam." He corrected.

"Sam." Javier snapped harshly making the criminal flinch. "Why did you run Sam?

He shifted. "Don't like cops." He said simply.

"Do you know this man?" Kate questioned, sliding Sharp's photo across the table.

Sam looked it over and shrugged. "Of course I know him, he's the boss. He owns the shipping company I work at." He shook his head. "I heard the guy is six feet under now though, it's a shame."

"Yeah, real shame." Javier said flatly. "Why weren't you at work the past two days?"

"I was sick." He answered without hesitation.

"You don't look sick."

"I got better."

The Hispanic leaned forward. "Look, I'm not here to play your stupid games. Word is you're the guy that receives the shipments of drugs."

Esposito was happy to see Sam stiffen. "Drugs?" He squeaked. "What drugs? Who told you that?"

"That doesn't matter." Beckett leaned forward. "What happened Sam? Did you take a bit of the merchandise for yourself? Did Sharp catch you?"

"Hey! I didn't kill him!" He roared. "I didn't steal a thing. I would never do that. All these years I've been loyal, the boss knows that." He leaned back with a huff. It never occurred to him that he had just confessed to being part of the drug business. He must have figured it was better than a murder charge. "I have a job and I'm making a little extra on the side. I have no need to steal or murder. I'm no thief, not like that Ryan." It was Esposito's turn to stiffen. "I bet he killed Sharp. He was the one that stole some of the supply, he was angry with Sharp for ratting him out. He hated the guy."

Javier's knuckles turned white as his fists clenched tight. "You're lying."

Sam laughed. "I'm not. Ryan is a thief, and a pretty good one too. People trust him and then he turns around and stabs them in the back. It's that stupid face of his. Everyone thinks he's so sweet and innocent, but he's a piece of shit." He grinned. "I was happy when that little bastard got a good beating for what he did."

Esposito jumped out of his seat and before Beckett could stop him, he had grabbed the man's shirt and pulled him out of the chair. "Shut your mouth!" He roared. "You stop lying!"

Kate pulled him off. "Espo, calm down or I will make you leave."

"Wait a minute." Sam narrowed his eyes. "Kevin is the one that ratted on me, wasn't he?" He laughed at their shared glance and straightened his shirt. "Man oh man, working with cops. I sure hope McCray gets his hands on him for this one. The boss's little pet is a dead man."

"McCray?" Beckett asked, as she struggled to get Javier back into his seat. "Who's McCray?"

Sam's eyes widened. "N-nobody." He stuttered. "Look, I'll admit I was helping Sharp with the drug smuggling but I had nothing to do with his murder. I was across the city, dropping off some shipments. There were plenty of people there you can check it out."

"We're not done talking about McCray." Esposito snapped. "Who is he? Is he the boss?"

"Hey, you won't get nothing out of me. I'm not an idiot like Ryan, he thinks he's safe because he's the favorite but he's not. I know better than to talk to you. I give names and I'll be dead by tomorrow. I want a lawyer."

Reluctantly the two detective's left the room and moved to the other side of the mirror. "He's lying." Esposito grumbled. "Ryan did not kill Robert Sharp, he couldn't." Kate was silent as she thought. Javier didn't like her silence, he eyed her suspiciously. "You don't actually believe him do you?"

"Well, Ryan did say that he hated Sharp."

"You can't be serious!"

"Calm down, I'm not sentencing Ryan to die here. I'm just saying maybe he hasn't been all that honest with us. If Brent's alibi checks we should ask Kevin about the stolen drugs, find out why he wouldn't tell us that." Esposito glared at her. She didn't cave. "Don't look at me like that. You said it yourself, neither of you are the same people you used to be. How well do you really know Kevin Ryan?"

* * *

Kevin sat upside down on Javier's couch, his legs propped up against the back and his head hanging off the edge. He stared at the television as his friend searched for something to watch. "Just pick something bro." He whined.

Javier sighed and flipped through more channels, landing on an old black and white movie. He rested across the length of the sofa, his feet propped up on Kevin's stomach. A small space heater warmed the living room, both boys eagerly soaked up the heat. It was late, Kevin had decided to stay the night instead of walking home in the dark and cold. Javier shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth and passed the bowl to Kevin. "So." He said suddenly. "There's a big party goin' next week, you in?"

The young Irishman tried to shovel in a handful of popcorn, but upside down he missed his mouth and half of it rained to the floor. "Who's party?" He questioned.

"Friend of mine, does it matter?"

Kevin shrugged. "Maybe, friend from where?"

Javier nudged him with his foot. "Just a friend. The dude is rich but cool. You in or not?"

Kevin hesitated. "I guess, if you're sure it's safe."

"It's safe enough, it'll be fun. You won't regret it."

"I hope not." He tried again to get popcorn in his mouth but again, half of it fell to the floor.

"Dude, stop it!" He pulled the bowl away. "You're wasting the popcorn."

Kevin smiled. "Sorry." They were quiet for a minute. The movie cast its sporadic lights across the dark room. Javier almost dozed off when Kevin spoke again. "Hey Javi."

"Hm?"

He righted himself and took the popcorn. "You're a good friend."

The Hispanic stared blankly at the skinny boy he'd unknowingly come to think of as his best friend. The only real friend he'd ever had. He shook his head. "Shut up, you sound like a chick."

Kevin shrugged. "I'm just saying. Some people told me I shouldn't have talked to you, they said you were trouble, but I'm glad I did. You're a good friend."

Javier grunted and shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah well… I'm glad you did too." He mumbled. "You're a pretty good friend… you know, also." Kevin smiled and Javier pushed him over with his foot, dumping the rest of the popcorn across the floor and couch. "Now shut up and try to act like a guy for once." They both laughed and picked up a more manly conversation about baseball and power tools.

* * *

"Espo… Esposito." Kate sighed. Like a child, he had ignored her almost the entire ride to Castle's loft. Samuel Brent's alibi checked out. He was across town at the time of the murder. So he didn't lie about the murder, but that didn't mean he wasn't lying about Ryan. Beckett caught his arm and stopped him as he stormed towards the door. "I'm just trying to use my head here. Ryan is still our best suspect and you know it. Do I think he actually did it? No, I can't say I do, but the facts say otherwise."

"Damn the facts. I know Kevin." He paced the hallway and laughed. "There was this one time, he found a stray cat in an alleyway, the damn thing looked about ready to die, and he took it home because he thought it was sad. He would show up to school every day with new scratches on his face or arms, but he wouldn't give up on the thing. He never gave up on me either. I have never known a person to care as much as him. He couldn't do this Kate, you have to trust me on this."

She sighed. "I want to Javi, but one of us has to remain neutral on this… just in case."

Javier hung his head. "I know. Listen, I want Brent held as long as we can. I don't want him spreading rumors about Ryan. It could get him in some serious trouble."

Beckett nodded, "Already on it. He's being processed under a serious pile of drug charges."

"Good. I'm sorry Kate, I just wish Ryan would quit holding back and tell me the whole story." They trekked the rest of the way down the hall, reaching Castle's door just in time to hear a terrible wailing from the other side. The detective's shared a glance and grabbed their guns, bursting through the door, ready for the worst.

Martha was standing in the middle of the loft, hand to her forehead, letting out a gut wrenching cry. "For I cannot go on!" She wailed. "This life holds no more light for me. Fair well to thee sweet love of mine… fair well." She lifted a rubber knife and shoved it into her chest, blade bending, and collapsed to the floor.

The detectives stared in confusion before a burst of clapping erupted from the couch. "Amazing Mrs. Rogers." Ryan declared from his spot between Castle and Alexis as the red-headed woman stood with a graceful bow. "If they don't give you that part they're damn fools. That was some of the best play acting I've ever seen."

Martha stepped forward and patted his head. "Oh you are a dear, sweet boy." She said happily. "I only hope the director is as kind as you."

Javier holstered his weapon. A little ashamed at the thought that crossed his mind of what was happening behind the door, involving Kevin and a real knife. "Beckett, Esposito!" Alexis cried, noticing their presence. "What are you two doing here?"

"I'm here to kill your father." Javier snapped.

Alexis bit back a laugh. "Well, just try not to make too much of a mess." She said with a dramatic sigh.

Castle stood, pulling Ryan in front of him as the angry detective stormed forward. "I ordered you not to leave the precinct." He grabbed the writer's wrist roughly and unlocked the cuffs. "And what's the first thing you decide to do? You leave the precinct."

Once he was free, Castle retreated to hide behind his daughter. "I'm sorry Espo, we just got bored and hungry. I thought we would be back in no time but then mother wanted to practice her audition."

Esposito locked Ryan's hands back together. He was barely listening to the writer's excuses. His mind was on the man standing in front of him. Kevin seemed to notice his old friend's hesitation. "Everything okay Javi?" He questioned. "Did you get a confession?"

"No, his alibi checked. But he did tell us some interesting things."

Ryan smiled. "That's good, what did he tell you?"

Javier fidgeted on his feet, eyes shifting towards the audience gathered in the living room. "Hey, are you guys hungry?" Castle declared suddenly.

Alexis nodded. "Oh yes, very hungry."

"Yes." Martha agreed. "I could make you all one of my famous kale and broccoli smoothies." The family filed into the kitchen leaving Ryan alone with Beckett and Esposito.

"Is something wrong?" The Irishman asked nervously.

"Sit down." Javier ordered. He sat on the couch and Esposito took a seat on the coffee table across from him. "We talked to a man named Sam Brent."

Ryan nodded. "I know of him… but not very well."

"He knows you very well." Kate said, taking the cushion next to him. "He says you stole some of the drug supply and got into a heap of trouble, he said Sharp was the one that ratted you out and you got pretty mad."

Kevin sunk back into the cushions. "Is that what he said?" He whispered.

"Is that true Kev?" Esposito asked. "Did you steal from your boss?"

"I don't like this, can we talk about something else?"

"Not this time bro, did you steal a shipment of drugs?" Javier waited impatiently. "We need an answer."

"Well…" He played with the edge of his shirt. "I may have taken some drugs but I fully intended to pay for them… eventually. They just didn't see it that way… especially since I didn't actually have any money to pay for it with." Esposito dropped his head in his hands. "But it's not like that. Sharp ratted me out to the boss, and I was angry, but I didn't kill him."

"God Kev, this looks terrible. Not only were you caught with blood on your hands but now you have motive. You should have told me this to begin with."

"Why?" Ryan snapped angrily. "So you can look at me like you do now? You think I did it!"

"Well you're not exactly coming off as completely innocent here Kevin. You're a drug addict and a thief!"

Kevin stood and shoved at Javier, almost knocking him from the table. "So then lock me up now! And while you're at it you may as well just skip the trial and fire up the electric chair since you're so certain I killed him!"

Esposito jumped up and shoved him back. "Stop acting like a child. I'm trying to help you!"

"You keep saying that but if you were really trying to help you would have let me go by now."

"Oh yeah? Why? So you can go get another hit and break some more laws, you dirty little thief!" He was lashing out, he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself. "Why don't I just go get you a big pile of heroin, or is it cocaine you prefer, and we'll pump you so damn full you'll die without a feeling a thing! Is that what you want? For me to let you die in some alleyway like the drug addict you are!"

Kevin grit his teeth and lunged at him, gripping his shirt and pushing him back over the coffee table. Ryan pinned him down. "You think you're better than me!" The Irishman snapped. "You're not! You're nothing but an arrogant, dimwitted cop!"

Javier quickly flipped him off and shoved the Irishman's face into the floor. "Better a dimwitted cop than a dirty, thieving crook." He snapped. He planted a knee in Ryan's back and removed his cuffs. "You've cheated and lied to me every step of the way. I can't trust you!" He took off the cuffs and pulled his hands behind his back, locking them tightly. He pulled him up and shoved him back onto the couch. "You want to act like a criminal? Fine! Tomorrow I'm dumping you back in that holding cell."

"Fine." Kevin pouted. "I've had enough of you and your pompous attitude. I'd rather be in that cell than spend another minute with you."

Esposito ground his teeth. Kevin really knew how to piss him off. Why was he trying so hard with this guy? But of course he knew why. He sucked in a calming breath of air and sat back down. "But first, you're going to tell us who McCray is."

Ryan froze, his anger vanishing in an instant. "McCray? H-how did you get that name?"

"Is he the boss that everyone keeps talking about?" Beckett questioned. She hadn't moved during the entire fight. She let the two old friends settle their differences themselves.

Kevin tried to stand but Javi pushed him back into the couch. "Answer the question Kev."

He hesitated. "No, he's not. But he's not anyone you want to mess with. Javi, if you meet McCray you stay the hell away from him. You're no match for him."

Esposito crossed his arms. "Enough with the insults Kevin."

He shook his head. "No, I'm not insulting you Javier, I'm serious. McCray is dangerous." Blue eyes begged him to listen. "He's the one the boss sends when he needs someone taken care of for good. And he never fails. He's his right hand man, his bodyguard, and his hit man."

"Are you saying he's the one that killed Sharp? On someone else's orders?"

Kevin shrugged. "Maybe, I-I don't know." He fidgeted, growing more agitated. "Man I could really use something to calm my nerves. Are you sure you don't have anything Castle? Not even a bottle of scotch?"

"I have scotch!" Castle cried excitedly from the kitchen. Despite the family's efforts not to eavesdrop, they were all listening closely. "It's a good bottle too and I…" He faded off when Beckett and Esposito glared. "But… but alcohol is never the answer."

Ryan's leg started to bounce, Esposito had to talk faster, he was fading into himself quickly. "We need a name Kev, who is the boss? Who sent McCray to kill Sharp?"

Kevin tried to stand again, Javier let him and watched him pace. "I can't… I can't." He repeated several times. "If I do, I'm dead. I'm a dead man as soon as I step out that door. I would be the next name on McCray's list within seconds."

Alexis's motherly instincts kicked in as the man grew more agitated. She appeared at Ryan's side and rubbed his arm, leading him back to the couch. "Ryan if Javier says he can keep you safe than I believe that he'll do it. He's a good man."

He looked Alexis in the eyes as she rubbed his back soothingly. His gaze drifted to Javier and he smiled. Some sort of realization seemed to fall over him. "I know that." Kevin said as he slowed his breathing. "I'm such an idiot. If he finds out you're on to him, he'll come after you too." He scanned the room with sad eyes. "I don't want to die but even worse I don't want any of you to die because of me." He hung his head. "I've been… selfish. I don't want to drag anyone down with me. You're good people and I'm not going to let you get hurt because of a dirty little thief like me."

Alexis glared at Javier and he sighed. "Kevin, I didn't mean that. I was just angry."

A sad smile crossed the Irishman's face. "No, you were right. There's really no better way to describe me. I think its best you put me back in holding tomorrow and let the justice system have its way with me. If I get convicted for murder then so be it, I had it coming anyway."

Javier shook his head. "No way. I'm not letting you get put away if you didn't do anything wrong."

Ryan sighed. "It's better than any of you getting hurt. I go away, the murder is solved, and McCray has no reason to come after you. It's all for the best."

"No Kev, it's not for the best."

"Stop arguing Javi… I like this idea." He swallowed and shifted in his seat. His eyes darted as he thought.

Javier didn't like the look that was passing over his old friend's face. "Kevin." He warned. "Don't you do this. Don't you say it."

Ryan nodded. "I'm confessing Javier, I killed Robert Sharp."


	6. False Confessions

**I would like to give a shout out to TXMedic and Detective Rysposito, your reviews and kind words never cease to make me smile. Thank you and please never stop. I hope everyone is still enjoying this story. There is plenty more to come.**

Chapter 6:

False Confessions

Not one of them, not even Alexis with her doe blue eyes, could talk Ryan out of pleading guilty to the murder. Kevin couldn't confess to a murder Javier was certain he didn't commit. Sure, Kevin had changed a lot in their time apart, but murder… he had no doubt of his friends innocence. Esposito paced the length of the apartment as the redheaded teen chatted with Ryan on the couch. "Javi, sit down." Beckett ordered. Castle, Beckett, and Martha were busying themselves in the kitchen, making dinner. They had insisted Esposito and Ryan stay. Ryan protested, he wanted to give his confession as soon as possible, but Beckett assured him she would take his statement tomorrow. "You're not doing any good pacing like that." She laid a knife and a bowl of potatoes on the counter. "Make yourself useful and peel these." Esposito did as he was told, if not a little poorly.

"He's an idiot." He hissed while he worked. "If he gets convicted…" He growled and cut off too much of the potato, earning him a glare from Martha. "He won't do well in prison, he's too soft."

"Javi," Kate said gently. "Don't worry."

"I know you think he killed him but he didn't kill that man, I don't believe for one second that-"

He was interrupted by a loud laugh from Alexis. She sat close to Kevin as he told her a story. Both of them grinned from ear to ear. "Relax Espo." Castle chuckled, his eyes on the pair. "Do you think I would let my only daughter anywhere near a man we thought might be a murderer?"

Martha nodded in agreement and laid a hand on the Hispanic's twitchy fingers. "Darling, we don't think him anything but a sweet boy that has lost his way. Not to mention Alexis seems to like him which is an honor to his character."

"We'll figure something out Javier." Kate added, taking the mutilated potatoes from his angry hands. "For now, we enjoy dinner. But maybe we'll skip the potatoes."

Alexis laughed again and stood, pulling Ryan along with her. "Did he really do that?" She asked as they approached the others.

Kevin nodded. "No lie, Javi always thought he was so tough but I found his collection of toy ponies once."

"What?" Esposito sputtered. His face flushed red. "They weren't ponies, they were action figures, knights on horseback. They're collectibles now, worth a small fortune."

Ryan's eyebrows rose. "Oh so you still have them. Do you still make the little neighing noises when you play with them?"

The room erupted in laughter. "I-I never did that." He snapped. "I'm warning you Kev." A mischievous grin broke his face. "Hey Alexis, did Kev tell you about the time that he wore a skirt?"

This time it was Ryan's turn to blush. "Th-that was for a school play! And it was a kilt."

"Really? Are you sure? Because it was very short for a kilt." Esposito laughed. "But relax, you've got the legs for it so there's no shame."

"Shut up." Ryan hissed with a smile. "But you're right… I do have good legs." Javier stuck out his tongue in disgust.

Alexis laughed at their banter. "Dad, is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can set the table."

"Okay." She smiled. "Kevin could help too, if his hands were free." She turned on Javier and batted her eyes. "Detective Esposito?" She said sweetly.

"No." He replied forcefully.

"Please? I'll watch him."

Javier was hit with a double pair of bright blue puppy dog eyes. "Look away!" Castle shouted, ducking behind the counter. "It's a trick!"

The Hispanic didn't look away, he caved quickly and before he knew it he had the cuffs unlocked and Kevin and Alexis were setting the table. "Wow Espo, guess we know your weakness." Kate said with a wink.

"Shut up." He watched Ryan out of the corner of his eye. He seemed to be behaving himself. Actually he seemed happy. His smile never faded when they sat down to dinner.

"Hey Kev." Alexis said happily as she filled her plate. "Tell Everyone that story you were telling me about you guys and football tryouts. I think they'd like it."

Ryan's plate was already piled high. Esposito glared at him over top of it. "Don't you dare." He warned. The Irishman smiled and preceded on with the story anyway. Javier didn't stop him because he didn't dare take away the joy on Ryan's face. Kevin felt like he was part of a family, albeit a small and strange one, but together in that moment, they were a family.

* * *

"Damn Javi you weren't kidding, this guy is crazy rich." The two teenagers stood just inside a massive top floor penthouse apartment. The stereo beat out an unidentifiable song as a party was under way. "Look at that." Kevin cried excitedly as he moved to the ceiling high windows that looked out over New York. "I can see the Empire State Building."

Javier grabbed his arm and drug him away from the view. "Play it cool man." He scolded. "These aren't high school kids, they're college age. They're cool so we have to be too, otherwise they're going to throw us out. I worked hard to get in with this guy."

"Right." Kevin straightened his button up shirt. "I'm cool." He said nervously. Javi rolled his eyes, at least he'd ditched the sweater vest.

Javier picked up a cup and dumped something dark in it. "Here, drink this, it'll help you relax."

Kevin took the glass and smelled it, pulling the cup away quickly. "This is alcohol!" He cried.

"Of course it is." Javi sipped at his own cup.

"I'm only sixteen, you're seventeen. We're not old enough to drink!"

"I'm going to be eighteen soon." He shot in defense.

"Still not old enough. We're going to get into trouble."

Javier pushed the cup up to Kevin's mouth and made him drink. "Bro, you really need this. You need to chill."

Kevin gagged on the liquid when it was stronger for him than expected. He dumped the rest when Javier turned to watch a girl pass. "So who is this guy anyway?"

Javi smiled. "He's the son of the multimillion dollar business owner, Thomas Warrek."

"Oh yeah, I know him. He's running for a spot on the senate. That guy is great, he's an activist that works with underprivileged city kids. People love him, he's a certainty for the spot."

He stared blankly until Kevin had finished his little nerd rant. "Yeah, anyway. He's out of town this weekend and his son, Daniel Warrek, threw a party. But this isn't just any party, all these people you see here are up and comers for businesses that tend to fly… under the radar."

"You mean Warrek's son is a crook?"

Javier slapped him in the chest excitedly. "No, not a crook. He's so much better than that. He is quick on the rise as a front runner for the shady underbelly of New York City. Word on the street is he wants to stake his claim on the drug trade. And I plan on getting my share while he's still low on the totem pole."

"Javi." Kevin scolded. "You can't do this. You're better than that."

"You might be better than that but I have very few other prospects. And the son of a multimillionaire is a great place to get my foot in the door."

"You could apply to the police academy. I wasn't kidding when I said you'd be a good cop, you should at least give it a shot before you throw your life away on this."

"Yeah sure I'll keep that in mind." He scoffed, his attention on something else. Kevin followed his gaze and noticed a young man in his early twenties as he approached. He was tall and thin, with emerald green eyes and dirty blonde hair styled perfectly on top of his head. He had a million dollar smile. "That's him." Javier hissed. "And he's coming this way. Now, I brought you here to talk me up if I need it so stay quiet unless I signal for you."

"What do you want me to say?"

Javier thought quickly. "Tell the truth, stretch it a little if need be." Daniel stopped in front of them and flashed a winning smile. "Hi." Javi greeted nervously, extending a hand.

Daniel shook it. "My two youngest party guests." He said above the music. "Javier Esposito, right?"

Javier nodded. "Yes! I was hoping to talk to you about some business prospects. I'll be graduating soon and I'll take any job you have available Mr. Warrek."

"Please, in this business I go by Danny, especially to prospective employees." Javier grinned as Danny looked him over. "Do you have any skills?"

The Hispanic puffed out his chest. "I'm pretty tough and quick on my feet. I'm also well known for my hotwiring skills." He snapped his fingers and Kevin jumped.

"He's also very reliable and trustworthy." He rattled it off as if he'd been rehearsing it in his head. "Loyal to no end. He won't let you down."

Daniel tilted his head. "Not bad." He nodded towards Kevin. "And who's you're friend?"

Kevin opened his mouth but Javier interrupted. "This is Kevin, he's not important."

Danny narrowed his eyes. "You sure? He's got a good face, an innocent look. I could use someone like that."

Kevin laughed. "Uh thanks but I'm really just here for him."

Javier smiled but Danny didn't take his eyes off the Irishman. "Yeah? We'll see about that." He reached into his jacket. "Do you have a number Mr. Esposito?" Javi rambled off his phone number excitedly, Daniel wrote it down on a notebook before tucking it away. "I'll call you if I have any work. You should know I value loyalty and trust at its highest degree and I don't forget anyone who would break my trust." His green eyes seemed to darken at his words before he flashed another smile. "Well, in the meantime, enjoy the party, there's plenty of food and drinks and if you want even more fun there's something stronger in the back rooms." His dangerous eyes shifted back to Kevin. "And please Kevin, I hope you reconsider and join your friend."

Javier punched Kevin hard in the shoulder once the man had disappeared. "Dude we are so in!"

"We?" Kevin squeaked, rubbing his arm. "Not we, just you, and I don't think even you should be getting involved in this. That guy gives me a bad feeling. I can't believe he's Thomas Warrek's son."

"Bro, you should reconsider. He was really crushing on you. We could be set for life if we align ourselves with this guy."

"Set for life as in… living behind bars, our meals provided by the state?" He snapped sharply. "Javi, don't do this. Please."

"God you need to relax, maybe we should take a trip to the back." Kevin glared at him like a scolding mother. "I'm just kidding. But it's fine. I don't even know if he's going to call, this all could be a bust." Kevin relaxed slightly at the thought. Javi grinned. "But this night doesn't have to be a bust, come on bro, let's have some fun." He saw Kevin throw a guarded glance back to Daniel before Javier grabbed his arm and pulled him into the party.

* * *

Esposito shifted restlessly in his bed. Ryan was on the floor, fast asleep. He seemed happy with his decision, Javier was not. Kevin had insisted he was making the right choice, he was convinced on his need to protect them and saw no other way. To Kevin, his measly little life was worth it to potentially save Javier's strange little family.

Javier finally gave up on trying to sleep and sat at his kitchen counter, drinking coffee and flipping through the case file. He hoped to find something… anything that would save his friend. He was so angry with Ryan, they'd insulted each other and fought around almost every turn, he had become difficult and insufferable. But he was his friend. As a teen, Esposito hadn't exactly been the easiest person to put up with but Ryan had always done so happily. So Javier wouldn't give up on Ryan, even if he was giving up on himself.

He searched the files until the sun rose and Kevin stirred. They both got ready for the day, Javier leant him some more clothes, jeans and a dark green t-shirt, and they headed off to the precinct without a word spoken between them. "So he's still going to do it?" Castle asked as they followed Beckett, she had Ryan by the arm and was leading him into the interrogation room.

Javier sighed. "Yes, he's not listening to reason. I tried to talk him out of it last night. But he fell asleep while I was in the middle of a very good argument. I don't know what else to do man. If I could gag him and toss him in the closet until this whole thing blows over I'd do it."

Castle cringed. "Potentially a good idea but it sounds a little illegal."

They entered the interrogation room together. Beckett took off Ryan's cuffs and sat him in the chair, taking one of the seats across from him. Castle took the other and Esposito stayed in the corner. He was unwilling to take place in the questioning. "Mr. Ryan." Kate began. "You want to confess to the murder of Robert Sharp."

He nodded slowly. "I do." He said quietly.

"Okay, let's start from the beginning. Why did you want to kill Mr. Sharp?"

"Because I stole from the shipments of drugs he was in charge of." He recited flatly. "He ratted me out and got me in trouble. They beat me for what I did and I wanted revenge. So I killed him."

"Who beat you?" Castle questioned.

Ryan narrowed his eyes. "Can we stay on subject?"

"How did you kill him?" Kate continued.

"I uh, laid in wait at his place until he got home, I surprised him and I stabbed him in the chest. I pressed down pretty hard to make sure he bled to death." He was covering for the evidence Lanie had presented in the morgue. "I uh… tried to pull the knife out but I couldn't so I left it in. Oh! And I stuck around to make sure he died. I stayed to long though and the cleaning girl got there early."

Beckett took down notes, remaining unshaken and calm. It was unnerving to Esposito, he had thought the female detective had come to like Ryan but maybe he was wrong. She must actually believe that Ryan did it after all. She nodded. "Okay, and where did you get the knife?"

Ryan stared. "What?"

Her hazel eyes watched him closely. "The knife? Where did you get it?"

"I uh…" Kevin's nose scrunched as he tried to remember something. "I uh… grabbed it from his kitchen."

Beckett's pen scribbled across the page. "I see, so you grabbed the steak knife from the kitchen? The large one with the black handle?"

Ryan nodded. "Yes, the black one. I grabbed it and stabbed him with it. He never saw me coming."

"Really?" She said coldly. "Because we checked Sharp's kitchen. There wasn't a single knife missing."

Ryan shifted, glaring at her angrily. Esposito straightened. "Well you must have made a mistake. How could you possibly know that?"

"There's no mistake Mr. Ryan." Beckett snapped. "Because the knife didn't have a black handle nor was it even a kitchen knife." She slapped the crime scene picture on the table. "It was a hunting knife with a silver handle." It would seem Esposito wasn't the only one studying the case. Beckett was trapping Ryan into being unable to condemn himself. She was trying to save him. "Now you would have had to bring that knife yourself because Sharp didn't own a hunting knife. How would you have forgotten that Mr. Ryan?"

"I-I uh… this isn't fair Beckett." He growled. "You're doing this on purpose."

"You're damn right I'm doing this on purpose because you didn't kill Robert Sharp. But you know who did."

Javier stepped forward. "And don't give us any damn excuses about trying to save us bro. We can take care of ourselves, we know what we're doing. Give us the name of your boss."

"I..." He shifted. "I can't."

Esposito leaned on the table between Castle and Beckett. "No. You can. Kevin… we can do this, we can put an end to all this, together." Their eyes met and the friends shared a moment of understanding. Slowly, Ryan caved.

Finally.

He opened his mouth but snapped it shut when the door suddenly opened. "I'm sorry." Gates said sternly. "But this questioning is over. Kevin Ryan you are free to go."

"What?" All four snapped together.

"His lawyer is here."

"But I didn't ask for a lawyer." Kevin said slowly.

Gates lowered her head. "You all need to come with me." They followed the Captain out the door. "Representation has been granted to you by a third party. They're insisting that you talk to him before you continue and I can't deny it if it's offered."

"What third party?" Javier questioned.

"Someone very powerful and with plenty of influence." She grumbled. "So tread lightly detectives."

They approached Gates' office and she entered with a fake smile plastered on. "I am so sorry to keep you waiting gentlemen, as promised I brought Kevin Ryan and the detectives working his case."

There were three men. One of them wore an expensive black suit and held a briefcase, the lawyer. The second was tall, very tall, at least six foot four, with sandy brown hair and sharp grey eyes. He wore a stern expression that stiffened more when the detectives entered. The third sat in the chair in front of Gates desk. His blonde hair was perfectly styled. He stood revealing a tall, thin figure and turned on them, flashing a winning smile, bright green eyes sparkling. Esposito's blood ran instantly cold while Gates spoke. "Detective's this is-"

"Daniel Warrek." Javier finished dryly.

Danny flashed a sly smile. "Javier Esposito." He cooed. "It's been a while."

Green eyes flashed to Ryan and Javier watched as Kevin quickly caved in on himself, looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I'm sorry, do you two know each other?" Gates asked.

Warrek smiled. "Sorry Captain. I knew the detective from my younger days. I'm surprised to see him here."

"I see. Well, I'm sure the rest of you recognize Mr. Warrek."

Castle spoke up first. "Of course. You were in the news. You just received the rights to your father's entire multimillion dollar company. He passed away a few months ago."

Danny's face dropped mournfully. "Yes, it was a terrible ordeal. I'm doing my best to follow in his footsteps but I've got big shoes to fill." He sounded a little too dramatic for Javier's taste.

"We're sorry for your loss but what do you have to do with Ryan?" Beckett questioned.

"Ah yes, as you know my father was a big activist in the community with people that were down on their luck. Like I said I've been trying to follow in his footsteps so I've been working with a program that helps the troubled. Mr. Ryan was one of the people I took into my company, gave a steady job too, I mentored him, if you will." He watched Kevin with sad eyes. "I see he's fallen off the wagon and I feel responsible for his involvement in that terrible murder."

The lawyer stepped forward and handed Beckett a piece of paper. "I've been informed on the details of the case and I have several witnesses here that place Mr. Ryan at my client's company's head offices during the time of the murder. He slipped away shortly after and that must have been when he was spotted at Mr. Sharps penthouse."

Beckett looked the paper over quickly. "Is this true Ryan? Where you at Warrek's offices?"

Kevin fidgeted but stayed silent, he seemed unable to focus on anything but the floor. Daniel spoke for him. "Go on Kevin, it's okay. You don't have to be afraid of these people anymore." Ryan lifted his eyes and met the steely green gaze.

"He's not afraid of us." Esposito hissed, stepping towards him. The tall man in the corner reacted, moving towards Warrek. _'He's his right hand man, his bodyguard.'_ A rabbit's foot hung from his pocket. _'Someone superstitious.'_ This could only have been one man."McCray." Javier concluded aloud. Both men flinched slightly.

Danny cleared his throat. "I'm sorry this is my associate." He interrupted. "Martin Grey. He's my most trusted business partner." The man let out a snort of recognition. "He's not much of a talker." He turned back to the Captain. "Anyway, are we done here? Is Kevin okay to come with us?"

She sighed. "Well, he will have to return for his full statement in the case of Mr. Sharp's murder. But yes, with a clearly documented alibi he is no longer a suspect, we can't hold him." They all turned on Kevin who seemed to be shrinking even further. "Ryan if you want, you are free to leave with these men."

He didn't like it. It was all too easy. And never in a million years did he trust Danny Warrek. "Captain, can I talk to you for a moment?" Esposito snapped, already leaving the office with Beckett. He grabbed Castle's arm when he moved to leave with them. "Stay here, do not let him out of your sight." The writer nodded and kept his eyes on Kevin. "Captain, I don't like this." Javier snapped as soon as they were out of ear shot. "Daniel Warrek is not a good man. He had a lot of dealings with bad people when he was younger."

"Really?" She questioned. "Because I checked his record, he's clean."

"That may be sir but I know what he was in to."

"Don't you think he could have changed since then?" Gates questioned. "It's been a long time, we all change."

He could hardly deny that. He had changed since he last saw Danny. But he was getting a bad feeling off this whole situation. "I have to agree with Esposito." Beckett added, coming to his rescue. "It's too simple, and his bodyguard, he's a dead ringer for the hitman Ryan described."

Gates gave a nervous laugh. "Oh no, don't you two dare go there. Warrek is a powerful man. He has reaches in all parts of the city. You can't just accuse him of murder."

"Not just murder, I think he's the boss Ryan and Brent both mentioned. I think he's the leader behind this whole thing." Esposito said, adding to the Captain's aggravation.

"Oh yes, well that's much better." Gates crossed her arms, a posture of resistance but she was at least listening. "I need evidence, what do you have?"

"We have Ryan's word." Javier said firmly.

"I'm sorry." Kevin said from behind, drawing their attention. He stood with the three men just outside of Gates' office door, looking small among them. "I lied." He squeaked. "About everything." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Everything Danny said is true. Everything I said under interrogation is a lie. I only wanted attention and I'm sorry." The words sounded painfully rehearsed.

Esposito stepped towards him. "Kev, don't do this."

He retreated. "I'm sorry Javi. Thank you for trying to help but I guess I'm a lost cause."

Warrek laid a hand on Kevin's shoulder and Javier felt his stomach turn. "Don't say that Kevin, we'll keep working. We'll get those drugs out of your system and get you back to work, you'll be feeling better in no time." He smiled and addressed the group. "Thank you for your cooperation and I'm sorry for any trouble he caused." His hand tightened on Ryan's shoulder and the Irishman flinched. They turned and headed for the elevator without another word.

"Sir please." Javier begged. "You can't just let him leave."

"I'm sorry Esposito, but if he wants to leave, there's not much we can do anymore."

The elevator doors closed and Kevin vanished. Javier shot back into the office and to the windows that looked out over the street. "What the hell happened in here Castle?" He snapped on his way by the writer.

Castle and Beckett joined him at the windows. "I don't know. One minute we were all standing in complete silence and then Warrek said something about broken trust, and Kevin just walked out with them. I don't even know what happened."

"We lost him! That's what happened!" He roared. The three men exited the building far below. The lawyer shook Warrek's hand and got into a car of his own, driving away. McCray moved to the driver's side of a shiny black car while Danny argued with Ryan on the sidewalk. He didn't even care that he was standing in front of a police station when he reached out and slapped Kevin across the side of the head. The Irishman didn't move to fight back, but stood there as he was smacked again and pushed into the car. Warrek spared a glance up towards the window, a wicked smile crossing his face, before he climbed into the car after him. Furious rage boiled up from deep inside him as the car drove away. "This isn't over!" Esposito roared. "I want Kevin back. I want Daniel Warrek!"


	7. Lost & Found

Chapter 7:

Lost & Found

Three days passed and Robert Sharp's case ran cold. Ryan never showed to give his testimony and without it, they had nothing to run with. Actually, Ryan hadn't been seen at all. Esposito put out a BOLO on him but even that ran dry. Beckett hated leaving a case unsolved but after the days passed with nothing to show for, Gates ordered it shut.

But Esposito didn't need more evidence, he knew exactly who was behind it all. Daniel Warrek. But when he tried to pursue him, Gates put a stop to it. She warned him that if he went anywhere near Warrek without enough evidence it would be a threat to his job. But without Ryan he didn't have any evidence. Esposito, of course, kicked up a fuss anyway. He made a scene in front of the entire department and Gates put a stop to that too. Javier took time off after his short suspension and devoted all his new free time to finding Ryan.

"Hey." Esposito nudged the boot of a homeless man sitting in a quiet corner of the crumbling old parking garage. The secluded building was well known for its tendency to attract outcast crowds. Noise of other loiterers echoed off the cement walls. Espo tried his best to ignore the group of addicts lighting up over in the corner. Javier loathed the idea of possibly finding Ryan in a place like this but he was running out of options. He'd gone against orders and paid a visit to Warrek's office building, in secret of course, and found nothing. He'd even called in every favor he had to track Kevin down. But no one had seen him since leaving the precinct. He was getting desperate. Which is probably why he had resorted to coming here.

The old man stirred, grumbled something and ignored him. "Hey!" He repeated louder and then scolded himself when it caught the attention of others in the garage. He had done his best not to look like a cop, hiding his badge and gun under an old, oversized hoodie.

"What'd ya want?" The man grumbled in irritation.

Esposito held a picture out, Kevin's smirking face and bright eyes looked out. "Have you seen this man around?" He questioned gruffly.

"Nope, never seen him." The man turned and tried to fall back to sleep.

Javier grabbed his shoulder and flipped him back. "You didn't even look." He snapped, shoving the picture closer.

His grip tightened on the man's arm. "Okay, okay. Easy man." He looked the photo over. "Uh… yeah, yeah I guess he does look sort of familiar."

Javier's heart jumped. "Have you seen him recently?" He asked, trying to mask the excitement.

He thought slowly. "No, not recently, hasn't been around in a few weeks, but he shows up from time to time, heads upstairs usually." He pointed a dirty finger toward the steps.

"What's upstairs?"

The man chuckled, looking him over. "Nothing a good officer of the law like yourself would want to get mixed up in."

Esposito stiffened. "Wh-what? I'm not… how did you know?"

"People around here know a cop when they see one. You're best to stay away."

Javier tucked Kevin's picture away, checking to make sure his weapon was in place and at the ready. "Thanks for the warning, but I've got something to deal with first." He headed straight for the stairs. Just as he had his foot on the first step his phone buzzed in his pocket. Castle's face lit up the screen, Javier let out a loud groan and reluctantly answered it. "What do you want Castle?"

"And hello to you too Detective Esposito." Rick said, a smirk in his voice. "Enjoying your time off?"

He glanced around, doing his best to ignore the numerous laws being broken around him. "Yeah, having a real good time. What do you want?"

"Alexis and I have something to show you. Can you stop by my place?"

"A little busy right now. I'll stop by later."

"What's the matter Espo? To busy lounging around in you pajamas? Or are you doing something that you shouldn't be? Anything Beckett wouldn't like to hear about? Like going to Warrek's place again?"

"How did you know about that?"

"They caught you on security. They called the precinct." Javier swore under his breath. "Gates is out for blood, you better step lightly from now on."

"I know what I'm doing Castle." He glanced up the stairs. "I've just got to find him."

"I know." The writer's voice was solemn. "But… Look, before you do anything stupid, just come here. We've got something to show you… please."

Esposito sighed. "Okay, I'll be there in a few."

"He said he's coming!" Castle yelled excitedly. He could hear Alexis' victory shouts and couldn't help but smile. "Okay, see you soon and if you could pick up something to eat that would be great, we're starving." The phone went silent and Javier rolled his eyes. Why was he in charge of lunch? He dropped off the step, but thought twice. What if Ryan was up there doing something stupid? He couldn't just walk away. Castle would just have to wait a little bit longer. He took the stairs quickly and dove head first into the darkness in search of Kevin.

* * *

Javier knocked at the door and waited. There was no response so he tried again. Finally one of Kevin's sisters answered. "Um, hi." He greeted awkwardly. "Kevin hasn't been in school for the past few days and I was… well I was worried. Is he okay?"

The girl smiled warmly, "That's nice of you Javier." She pointed a hand in the direction of Kevin's room. "You can go see him for yourself."

He padded lightly to the room and paused at the door, afraid of what he might find on the other side. Kevin never missed school. Was he in trouble? Had his parents found out about the party? Did they condemn him to his room forever? Slowly he pushed the door open and slipped inside.

The room was dark, the curtains were drawn and barely let in enough light to make out a lump of covers on the far side of the bed. "Kevin?" Javier questioned.

Life stirred under blankets with a small groan. "Javi?" A weak voice questioned. Kevin pulled down a small portion of the covers to squint at his friend. "What are you doing here?"

His face was pale and dark shadows rimmed his eyes, he let out a cough and groaned again. Kevin was just sick. Javier let out a sigh of relief. "You weren't at school for the past few days and I haven't heard from you."

Kevin grinned. "Were you worried?" He chuckled, making himself cough again.

"No!" He snapped. "I just haven't had anyone to let me copy their homework. My grades are really slipping man." Kevin rolled over to face him fully and pulled the blankets down further. His hair was matted and his nose was bright red. Javi grimaced. "Dude, you look like shit."

"Thanks bro, glad you're here to point out the obvious. What would I do without you?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He sniffled. "Just a cold. But when I get sick, I don't just get a little sick. It usually hits me like a train before dragging me through the mud and spitting me out the other side."

"Hm, sounds like fun."

"Oh it is." He sneezed and blew his nose with several tissues. They joined the many others that were taking over the floor. Javier maneuvered the little snot bombs and sat on the edge of the bed. "I think I got it when we had to wait for the bus in the cold after that party. It just took a while to get to me. I wouldn't get to close bro."

Javier waved a hand. "I'm fine. I've got an excellent immune system." He almost never got sick. "So how long do you think you'll be out?"

"Hopefully no more than a week, why?"

He shrugged. Because he kind of missed having him around at school, but he couldn't tell him that. "Because we still have to plan our revenge against quarter back Henry and his gang."

"Have they been bothering you?"

"No more than usual. Nothing I can't handle."

The room fell into a comfortable silence and for a moment Javier thought Kevin had fallen back to sleep. "So have you heard from Daniel Warrek yet?" Kevin asked quietly.

Javi shook his head. "No, nothing. I doubt I will. I don't think he was all that impressed with me. Guess I'll just have to get a real job."

"Oh the horror." Kevin said flatly, making them both smile.

"Hey, were you serious about that police academy thing? Do you really think I could do that?"

Kevin stared blankly at him. "You really want to?"

Javier shrugged. "Well, I did have fun on that ride along thing and I'll admit, what those cops do is pretty cool. I might be able to see myself doing that one day."

Kevin sat up and grinned. "Really? You're really considering it?"

He held up his hands when blue eyes watched him like an eager puppy. "Calm down, it's just a thought. I'm just trying to keep my options open."

The puppy eyes grew tired and Kevin leaned back into his pillows. "Okay, that's fair. I'll take what I can get. I'll get you all the information when I'm feeling better." Kevin coughed and sniffled into some more tissues.

Javier grimaced and scooted back on the bed. "You sound nasty man, are you sure you're not dying?"

He pulled the blankets tighter around his shoulders and groaned. "I think I might be."

"Well if you do die, can I have your comic books?"

Kevin's laughter quickly turned to a fit of coughs. "Thanks man, it almost feels like you care."

"Well I do but you have a pretty good collection and I wouldn't want to miss out on that." They talked for another hour until Kevin's mom came in with a glass of juice and ordered her son to get some sleep. She left and Javier grinned. "Momma's little baby boy better get some sleep." He joked, pinching his cheek. Kevin batted him away. "But seriously man, you better get back on your feet soon. School has been boring as hell without you."

Kevin chuckled. "Sound like you miss me after all."

"I do not!" He shot back in defense. "Like I said, my grades are slipping that's all, and… and so what, if I miss… having you around, just a little. Everyone else is annoying and you're… well, you're the least annoying."

"Thanks. Well I'll try my best to get better so your grades don't suffer too much."

Javier nodded and stood. "Good." He made his way back through the minefield. "See you at school bro."

But when Kevin returned a few days later as promised, his friend wasn't at school to greet him. Javier was out for a week after Kevin got better… due to a cold of his own. Kevin showed up in his bedroom the next day with a bowl of soup, carton of orange juice, and a smug grin. "'Excellent immune system' my ass." He laughed when Javier groaned and pulled the blankets over his head.

* * *

Castel paced the loft nervously. "Dad you need to relax." Alexis said from the couch.

"Esposito should have been here by now." He snapped. "He was doing something he shouldn't have I'm sure of it."

Alexis lowered the book in her hands. "He's a pretty tough guy, a lot tougher than you, he can probably handle it."

Castle stopped his pacing. "You think he's tougher than me? You're supposed to be on my side."

She chuckled. "I am on your side but I'm also on the side of facts. And the fact is he could kick your ass any day."

The writer scowled but he couldn't really argue, it was true. "Maybe I should call Beckett." He pulled out his phone and was ready to hit the call button when a knock sounded at the door. Castle ran to get it with Alexis close behind. She had been worried after all. He pulled it open to a rather disheveled looking Detective. "Espo? What happened?"

Javier limped into the apartment and collapsed onto the couch. His clothes were torn and dirty. Alexis ran to get an icepack for a bruise that was blossoming on the right side of his jaw. He accepted it from her gratefully and didn't explain himself until he had it pressed against his face. "I went down to this abandoned parking garage that's known for its community of druggies in hopes of finding Ryan."

Castle's eyebrows knitted together. "And?"

Esposito sighed. "He wasn't there but they did recognize him."

"Did you get in a fight?" Alexis asked as she came back with a few bandages for the cuts on his hands.

"Well, when I flashed his picture and started asking questions they asked if I was a cop. I told them no, that I was just a friend of Kevin's." He shook his head. "I think it would have been better to tell them I was a cop. Apparently Kevin hasn't been around there in a while because he scammed several of its occupants out of money, promising drugs that they never received."

Castle cringed. "So they tried to get the money out of you instead."

Javier nodded. "Yeah, six of them came at me at once. I barely got out of there alive." He lowered the ice pack. "But at least that's one less place to look."

"You shouldn't go somewhere like that alone." Alexis scolded. "You should take Detective Beckett with you."

"She's too busy at work without me there. Besides I have this under control."

Castle pulled at a piece of Javier's torn sweatshirt. "Yeah it really looks like it. You don't have to do this alone Espo, we want Ryan back too." He grinned. "I don't know if you noticed but we kind of like the guy."

Esposito smiled but shook his head. "I can't ask you guys to get in the middle of this."

Alexis grinned from ear to ear. "That's the beauty of it Javier, you don't have to ask. Right?" Castle nodded in agreement. She grabbed Esposito's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, we have a surprise to show you." She pulled him into the office.

Castle beat them to the room and stood beside his smart board that held the outline to his next book. A new character had been added to the outline, a young, blue-eyed Irishman. But that wasn't what he wanted to show Esposito. "Okay, what is it?" The Hispanic sighed, leaning against his desk.

Castle minimized his book outline and brought up a new diagram. Ryan's face sat dead center with several arms branching away from it. Esposito straightened and looked the chart over. It outlined Ryan's case perfectly, from the beginning, with Sharp's murder, to losing him to Warrek and everything in between. "Wow Castle this is pretty good." The writer puffed out his chest in pride. "A lot better than the little cork board I have at home."

"We were up all night working on it." Alexis touched Warrek's face and it zoomed in on him and a list of items involving him. "We also did our research."

"Warrek isn't as squeaky clean as he would like us to believe." Castle pointed down the list. "He's been to court several times over the years for lawsuits against him. But he's got so many lawyers backing him up that not one of them has landed."

"What kind of lawsuits?"

"Fraud mostly." Alexis answered. "Some embezzlement, defacement of character, he even has one murder charge from almost ten years ago that he had settled and buried. I don't like him, he's sketchy."

"You have no idea. When I was younger he was just getting started and he would have done anything to reach the top. He was determined and ambitious." He sighed. "And I would have followed him if it wasn't for Ryan."

Castle tapped the screen and it went back to the main chart. "And then there's McCray." There was no photo for him and when the writer tapped it, there was only one line of information below it. He was Warrek's bodyguard. That was all they knew. "We couldn't find much on him."

"I used the police databank before Gates kicked me out." Javier began reciting the information from memory. "His name is Martin McCray. He's an immigrant from Scotland. Moved here when he was only fifteen. He's got a pretty good record, burglary, arson, numerous assault charges, you name it he's done it. But it all came to a halt about twenty years ago, I assume that's when Warrek recruited him. But that's all I got." Castle quickly added the information in and grinned at the results. "I can't believe you did all this."

"Beckett was here for a little while helping out." Castle added. "She wanted to show you too but work got in the way. She's doing her best to keep her eyes open from the inside." He winked as if she was some kind of reconnaissance mission.

Esposito smiled, and all the work they'd put into the board became worth it. "Thanks guys… this means a lot."

Alexis hugged him. "With all our heads put together we're sure to find Ryan now. So what's our next step? Where are we going to look?"

"I really didn't think I'd find Ryan at that parking garage. I think Warrek did something with him." Esposito's fists clenched. "I just don't know what." He tapped on an icon that held all of the building's Daniel owned.

"Is it possible he really is working for Warrek?" Alexis questioned. "I mean, I know you don't like the guy but maybe he was telling the truth."

Javier shook his head. "I don't believe that story. You didn't see Ryan. He was reciting the words like Warrek was behind him pulling the strings. He's got a hold on him and I intend to break it." Alexis didn't question it further. There was no one alive that would dare question it with the look that had crossed the detective's face.

"We should start by talking to employees at Warrek's company." Castle reasoned. "Maybe we could find someone like Samuel Brent, someone involved with both the company and the drugs. One of them might have seen Ryan."

Alexis grinned. "And you're not technically going after Warrek so you're not technically breaking Gates' rules."

"Yeah that's not a bad idea." Javier looked the board over again. "I just want Ryan back. He was safe here."

"You mean he was safe with you." Alexis laughed when the detective scowled.

"Well, he's safer with me than he is with Warrek." He grumbled.

Castle started a long ramble about how they would properly infiltrate the company's security filters without being seen, it closely resembled that of a scene from Mission Impossible. Relief washed over Javier when his phone buzzed. He held up a hand, silencing the imaginative writer. "Hello." He answered quickly once he recognized the number. "Really?" He cried suddenly. "Where!?" He grabbed a pen and wrote an address down on his hand, hanging up without another word. "Got him!" He shouted excitedly.

Castle bounced on his toes. "Ryan?" Esposito gave a firm nod and headed for the door. "How?" Rick questioned, following him closely.

"I pulled a lot of favors and put out eyes from every informant I had. That was one of them and he spotted someone matching Ryan's description perfectly."

"Awesome, where are we going?"

Javier pulled to a stop halfway out the door. "Oh no." He grumbled. "You two are not coming with me. It's in a part of town almost as bad as the parking garage, it's too dangerous."

"I don't care, I'm coming." Castle said firmly. "You're not the only one worried about Ryan. Come on, we're wasting time… wait, two of us?" He looked to his side to see his daughter pulling on her jacket. "Alexis? Alexis! You are not coming with us."

The red head straightened. "Of course I am. You two aren't the only one worried about Ryan." She said with a smirk, using his own words against him. "Now come on boys, we're wasting time." She stepped into the elevator ahead of them and waited.

"Annoying when it happens to you, isn't it?" Esposito smirked and loaded the elevator beside the stubborn girl.

* * *

Javier pulled the car to a stop on the safest side of the street he could find before jumping out and racing to the alleyway. He heard his two tagalongs follow, Castle was trying to convince Alexis to wait in the car, but she, of course, would not. He'd changed quickly out of his dirty hoodie and back into his leather jacket, looping his badge on the chain around his neck. If he couldn't hide the fact that he was a cop then he would flaunt it instead. Everyone here would know he was a cop and would be sure to answer his questions the first time he asked. "Ryan was spotted going down this alleyway about half an hour ago." He said as soon as Castle and his daughter caught up. "He was wearing a dark jacket and blue jeans. Now this place is a known meeting spot for shady deals. Anyone we run into down here could be here for a number of dangerous reasons. Another reason why neither of you should be here."

"We're not leaving." Alexis said firmly.

"Fine, I don't have time to argue. Just stay close… both of you." They both gave him a thumbs up and they moved into the alley. The thin alley hooked back around to a small open square, sandwiched and hidden between the buildings. Which is why it made a good meeting place, out of the view of prying eyes. The courtyard was dirty and smelled of trash, mostly because of the three large trash bins on the far side at the back of two restaurants. The scent of old discarded food hit their noses hard.

Alexis moved closer to her father. "I hope Ryan isn't here." She said sadly as her eyes landed on a man rooting through the dumpsters. "I'd rather find him somewhere nicer."

Esposito honed in on a group of men huddled together in the corner, passing a bottle of brown liquid between them. They laughed up until Javier caught their attention. Their eyes immediately landed on his badge and they scattered like cockroaches in daylight. The detective caught one of them by the arm and shoved a photo in his face. "I'm not looking to get anyone in trouble, I'm just looking for him." He said in his best cop voice.

Javier was forced to ignore the fact that the boy couldn't have been old enough to even be out of high school and waited for an answer. It came in the form of a finger jabbed in the direction of the dumpsters before he wiggled out of the detectives grip and vanished over the fence on the far end.

Their eyes fell in the direction indicated but the only person they saw was the man looking for a meal in the dumpsters. It wasn't until he slid out of the trash, wincing as he landed with a styrofoam container in hand, that they realized the short and thin hooded figure matched who they were looking for. And it wasn't until he pulled back his dirty jacket's hood and sniffed the contents of the container to see if they were acceptable enough to eat, that they realized it was exactly who they were looking for.

If the fact that Ryan was filthy and rooting through a trash for something to eat wasn't bad enough, his current state was enough to leave Javier angry enough to track Warrek down in that very moment and murder him on the spot. His left eye was bruised badly and looked as if it was recovering from being swollen shut. He had another bruise on his left jaw and long cut on his lip. A deep gash on his forehead had been left unattended and was sure to be infected with the amount of dirt that covered it. But what made Javier certain that Warrek and McCray were involved was the dark rope burn that circled his neck like a noose. Ryan hadn't just been in a fight, he'd been tortured.


	8. Punishment

Chapter 8:

Punishment

Ryan didn't want to leave. That was important to know. He didn't want to confess to murder and he didn't want to disappoint Javier and all his friends. He liked them, all of them, Castle, Martha, Alexis, and even Beckett, although he wasn't sure if Kate liked him very much. And even if he was actually under arrest and had no choice in whether or not he could leave, he wanted to stay with these amazing people. But when Danny appeared at the precinct he knew he had even less of a choice than when he was wearing the handcuffs. He hated the look that crossed Javier's face as he walked out of the precinct and he hated that he was the cause of it.

The ride down the 12th precinct elevator was painfully silent, Kevin knew nothing would happen with the lawyer still so close but his heart thumped in anticipation at what was coming. He had done the worst thing possible in Warrek's book, he talked to the police. He had plenty coming.

It started as soon as the lawyer was gone. His car pulled away and Danny turned on him. "You little piece of shit." He hissed. "You were about to talk weren't you?" Kevin opened his mouth to answer but a smack to the side of the head told him he wasn't actually supposed to. "And what's worse, you were in there with that bastard Javier! How the hell did that coward become a cop?" He received another smack even though he didn't try to actually say anything this time. Kevin was shoved into the car and after a short pause Danny climbed in. "You're going to tell me everything that happened." He shouted as the car took off. "And you better not lie to me or I'll make sure your punishment is worse than what Martin already has planned." The Scotsman grinned into the rearview mirror as he drove.

Ryan was afraid, but he still lied. He couldn't put Javier and his friends in more danger. He would risk a little more punishment for the sake of knowing they were all safe. Warrek bought his lie. He told him he had been left in the holding cell and questioned repeatedly. He broke under the pressure and pointed them in the direction of Samuel Brent. Kevin would be punished severely to ensure it never happened again.

The car pulled into the parking area for the Warrek Financials building. He was led into the building's massive lobby, a large portrait of Danny's father sat against the back wall. The whole room was white and clean and professional and perfect. Little did any of its customers or workers know what was hiding under its seemingly perfect façade. They stepped into an empty elevator. Danny scanned his fingerprint and pressed the button to take them down to the basement.

They rode downward and Kevin began to sweat. He'd been down here before but it never made it any easier. His imagination raced at what McCray had ready for him. The man was so creative one could never be sure. He wrung his hands and fidgeted on his feet, earning a withering glare from McCray, he didn't dare move another muscle. The door opened and they were lead down a long hall of heavy doors. Most of the rooms down here contained whatever Warrek needed to run his most lucrative business as a drug lord. They were headed to the last door on the right.

Kevin's heart was ready to leap out of his chest as they crossed its threshold. The room was plain grey, with empty walls and a cold floor, there was no furniture except for a table on the back side. A dark sheet covered whatever it held, Ryan knew it wasn't anything good. McCray grabbed his arm tightly and placed him in the very center of the room. He circled around back towards the table and Ryan heard something being moved, he didn't dare look. "You know I don't want to do this Kevin." Danny said gently, almost convincingly. But his smirk said otherwise. "But you know how I value trust. And real trust… real loyalty, can not only be earned, it must be made. I make trust by creating fear." He'd heard this speech before so he knew better than to interrupt. "Kevin, you're my favorite because I have been working on putting a level of fear in you for the past fifteen years that cannot easily be broken. But it has to be reinforced from time to time, especially when you disappoint me like you have today."

Warrek made a gesture and suddenly a rope appeared around Kevin's neck. Despite his attempts to stay as still and as quiet as possible, when the rope tightened, Ryan reacted. He tried to pull it loose but McCray tightened it down, nearly cutting off his air supply. The rope was looped into a bar in the ceiling and pulled until Kevin was tugged off the floor. He was drawn high until only the tips of his toes touched the cold stone floor. He was given just enough slack to keep from cutting off his air completely. McCray chuckled with delight. Kevin tried gripping the rope above him but it only cut tighter into his neck. Danny sighed as if he was upset with Ryan's struggles to keep himself alive. "Don't be so pathetic Kevin." He scolded. "You know you deserve every bit of this. Don't you?" Kevin tried to answer but only gasps for air came out. Warrek growled and backhanded him hard across the mouth. His lip stung and warm blood dripped down his chin. He would have spun on his rope but Danny had a told hold on his jacket. "You answer me when I talk to you, you little bastard." He hissed.

"Yes." Kevin managed to choke out. "I-I'm sorry."

Danny nodded. "Good. I'm glad you understand." He motioned for McCray and together they headed for the door. "You'll be staying here for a little while. Thanks to you Martin and I have some things to take care of."

Over the next few hours he did everything he could to try and loosen the rope. But McCray had tied it with an impossibly tight knot to make sure he couldn't escape. At some point, the lack of air made him pass out but he woke quickly when the rope stopped his breathing altogether. He wasn't sure how many hours had gone by before McCray finally returned. But he didn't come back to release Kevin. When he showed up, he was lowered to the floor and beaten.

The days passed in rotations just like that. He was drawn up and left alone, lowered hours later and beat in the most creative ways. The rope was new… the beatings were not. He wasn't given any food to eat and just enough water to keep him alive. He was given a few breaks to use the bathroom but only because McCray didn't want to clean up a mess.

The only thing that got Ryan through the agonizingly slow days was knowing that McCray was here with him and not hunting down his friends… His friends? When did he consider them his friends? They barely knew him and he knew little about them but he liked thinking of them that way. It helped him ignore the pain, even if he was nothing to them.

He wasn't sure how many days had gone before Warrek returned and deemed that he had learned his lesson. Danny knelt down and addressed Ryan as he bled onto the cold floor. "If I catch you with Javier Esposito again, not only will I make sure you are beaten until you beg me to kill you, but I'll also put a bullet in that bastard detective's empty head." He grabbed a handful of Kevin's hair and pulled his face up to meet him. "Do we have a clear understanding?"

Kevin spit out a mouthful of blood before answering. "Yes, I understand perfectly sir." He said politely. He was dragged out of the basement and given an oversized coat to hide his wounds. None of his injuries were attended to but he didn't really expect them to be. He was simply given a batch of drugs to deliver and sent back out to work.

* * *

"Ow! Ow…" Seventeen year old Javier pinched a cloth to Kevin's bleeding nose and tilted his head back. "Owww." They sat on the steps of their school, bundled up against the cold weather.

"Calm down, it's not broken." Javi grumbled. "I can't believe Henry came after you when you were alone. Coward."

"Well we did put those mice in his locker that made him scream like a little girl in front of the whole school." He said with nasally words.

Javier laughed. "Yeah, well our prank was funny, a classic. This was just vicious."

"Well he was probably just trying to get back at me for punching him before. Guess I deserved it."

"That was forever ago, and you did not deserve this. I think he's just targeting you because he thinks you're the weaker of the two of us." He took the cloth from Kevin and filled it with a handful of snow, pressing it to his bruising face.

Kevin held it in place. "Well I am the weaker one, aren't I?"

Javier shrugged. "I used to think so and maybe in some ways you are. But I think in other ways you're much stronger than I am."

Kevin grinned from behind the cloth. "Wow Javi, you said that without stuttering once. You were completely at ease."

"Yeah well, it's the truth."

He pulled the cloth away and laughed, a dark bruise was already forming under his eyes and across his nose. "You do have feelings after all." He cooed. "The tin man has a heart."

Javier sighed. "And now you're ruining it." He stood and took the stairs down two at a time.

Kevin followed him. "You have a heart and it loves me."

"Stop it." He growled, moving faster down the sidewalk.

"You love me Javi!"

Kevin laughed hysterically when Javier pulled a hood over his head to hide his face. "I do not, now stop it right now or I'll be the one to break your nose."

Kevin caught up to him. "Come on give us a kiss." He joked.

Javier suddenly hooked his arm around the young Irishman's neck and planted a sloppy kiss on the side of his head. "There how was that?" He said with a grin.

Shock shrouded Kevin's face before disgust took over as he wiped at his ear. "Nasty, you slobbered on me!"

It was Javier's turn to laugh. "You said you wanted a kiss."

"I was kidding and I didn't think you would actually- Gross! It's in my hair!"

Javier hooked his arm tighter around his friend's neck. "First, you show off a killer right hook and now you can take a punch like a man. You surprise me Kevin Ryan. The first time I met you I thought you were just some annoying… nerdy little wimp."

"I hope you have a point."

Javi laughed. "I was wrong. You're a good guy Kevin and you've earned my respect."

Kevin's smile spread from ear to ear. "Thanks Javi, that means a lot." The smile vanished and fear replaced it. "Wait, you're not going to kiss me again are you?"  
He tried to pull out of the Hispanic's hold but Javier held him tight. "Don't tempt me." He said with a laugh.

* * *

Ryan bit into the sandwich and moaned happily. Sure, he'd just pulled it out of the trash but he hadn't eaten in over a week, he would have eaten anything at that moment. He'd just met with a client a short while ago and traded off his batch of drugs for the fee. He had been tempted to use some of the money to buy himself something to eat but if Danny found out… well, he wouldn't survive another beating. So, without a single penny to his name, trash can diving it was.

He'd been enjoying the dirty sandwich so much that he didn't even notice anyone approach until he heard a voice that made him drop the well-earned food. "Kevin." Javier said, his voice full of pity.

Ryan bolted before the food container even hit the ground. Esposito was blocking his exit down the front alley so he made a break for the fence. He pulled at the gate that let the garbage trucks in but a lock shook on its chain. He wasn't thinking clearly really, if he was, he would have known he couldn't out run Esposito, who, unlike him, was fit and healthy. Nor did he stand a chance of climbing the fence. But that didn't stop him from trying. He gripped the chain link fence and a blinding pain tore through his right wrist. He only managed a foot off the ground before Javier grabbed the back of his coat and yanked him to the ground.

He cried out when his back hit the pavement, irritating still fresh wounds. Javier planted a firm hand on his chest, easily keeping him down. "What the hell man? Where have you been? I've been looking for you for days."

Kevin cringed. Pain wracked his body from head to toe. "Javi, no. You can't be here. You can't be seen with me. It's not safe."

Javier shook his head. "I don't care man. What happened to you? Who did this?"

"Just leave it alone." He growled angrily. "You have to forget about me Javi."

Javier's warm gaze was full of pity… Kevin hated it. "You know I can't do that man." He smiled, "And I'm not the only one who can't let it go." He turned to the two standing behind him.

Castle and Alexis each gave an awkward wave. "Hi Kevin." The teen said quietly. "You look terrible."

"Thanks."

"I couldn't get rid of them." Javier smiled. "You've got people that care about you now, you're not getting rid of us that easy."

It would have been heartwarming had it not been for the death threat hanging over their heads. "Well, I don't care about you! Now leave me alone!" He pushed Esposito away and tried to jump up in anger. But his effort to get up was less than impressive. He rolled over on his stomach, which also hurt, and slowly pushed himself to wobbly feet with one hand. Javier grabbed his wrist to try and help steady him and sent a new burst of hot pain through his arm. He let out a sharp cry. "Don't! Let go!" He begged, dropping back to his knees.

Esposito helped him up, carefully this time, and rolled up his sleeve, revealing his bruised and broken wrist. McCray had taken a hammer to it two days ago. "Son of a bitch. I'll kill whoever did this!" Javi roared. "What else are you hiding?" Ryan didn't answer. Javier sighed. "Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital."

Kevin shook his head. "No. I don't have any insurance. I can't afford it."

Castle stepped forward. "Don't worry about it. I've got it covered."

They tried to pull him along but still he resisted. "I can't. You don't understand. No one can see you with me. Word will get back to… I just can't."

Alexis appeared in front of him and pulled his hood over his head. "There we go, now no one will know it's you." She took his arm with a gentle touch. "Can we go to the hospital now?" He wanted to resist, to fight back, to yell and scream and… save their lives. But he caved quickly under Alexis' motherly care.

Before he knew it he was in the car, driving toward the nearest hospital. Castle sat next to Kevin in the back while Esposito drove and Alexis took shotgun. The three were doing the best to ignore the smell that Ryan brought with him. He hadn't noticed it until now. Kevin hadn't showered for almost a week. Sweat, garbage, and the distinct coppery scent of blood all filled the tiny car in minutes. Castle cracked his window. "This is a bad idea." Ryan said with a sigh, pulling his hood further over his head. He tested the door handle, but it was of course, locked. He reached across Castle and tested his too, just in case. "This is a very, very bad idea."

"Relax!" Javier warned sharply. "Stop fidgeting… if you can. Have you been hitting the drugs again?"

He sunk into the seat, wincing when it aggravated some injuries. "Maybe." Alexis shook her head while Javier sighed in disapproval. "But not willingly."

"It's a good thing I'm a cop because the hospital is going to be asking some questions."

The many questions were easily taken care of though. All Javier had to do was flash his badge at the front desk and he got anything he wanted, including going back to the room with Ryan so he could see just how bad his injuries were. The damage to Kevin's face and neck was obvious but he'd been hiding plenty under the oversized coat. His wrist and thumb were broken. He had lacerations to his back where he'd been hit with a belt and burns down his left side from McCray's favorite weapon, a cattle prod. He also had several bruises and cuts over the rest of his body. Ryan was the one that was hurt but his pity went out to the nurse and doctor as Javier ranted and raved with each new revealed injury, dumping a slew of curses over the entire staff. While he was patched up Esposito let Kevin know everything he was going to do to Warrek when he got his hands on him. It would seem Javier was just as inventive with his torture as McCray.

Several hours later he was released back to the waiting room, with bandages to almost his entire torso and wrapping his neck, several stitches and a bandage to his forehead, and a bright new cast around his wrist. Alexis smiled and ran to greet him warmly. "Kevin!" She said happily. "You look better." She held several shopping bags in her arms.

"I feel like a mummy." He grumbled, itching at his cast. "A mummy with a bodyguard." He motioned to Javier who was busy signing papers. The detective hadn't left his side the entire time, he even stood outside the bathroom door while he tried to clean off the smell. He was enjoying the fact that Ryan couldn't run away or fight back. But Kevin wasn't stupid, he didn't stand a chance against Javier in his current condition, hell he didn't even stand a chance against Alexis.

She smirked at him. "He's just worried."

The bags rustled in her hands, catching his attention. "Hell of a time to go shopping, don't you think?"

A grin spread across her face. She reached into one of the bags and pulled out a shirt. "I went shopping for you." She said happily. "I guessed on your size but I think I got it right." She held the shirt up for measurement, her eyes lingering on his bandages. He pulled the zipper up on his coat. His own tattered and bloodied shirt had been thrown away, the coat was all he had left to cover his chest. It smelled like garbage and blood. "Are you okay?" She asked slowly. "Did… did someone really do all that to you?"

He smiled at her concern. "I'm okay." He didn't answer her second question, he took the shirt from her instead. The crisp white button up was clean and new, nothing like anything he'd owned in a while. "Thank you, this was very nice." Alexis smiled at him happily. She was so kind, and he was putting her in danger just by standing here. Danny would have no problem taking out a teenage girl to get his way. "Hey, Alexis. Can you go see if Javier is almost done? I was hoping we could go get something to eat. I'm really hungry."

He held a hand over his stomach, pulling at her heartstrings. His display with the dumpster sandwich earlier was embarrassing but maybe he could use it to his advantage. "Of course." She cried suddenly, happy to be of help. "Wait right here." She sat the bags in a chair and sprinted to Esposito.

Ryan waited until their attention was turned before he decided to make a run for the front door. He almost made it too, until someone stepped in front of him and he ran straight into his chest. "Keviiin." Castle sang, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. His hold was firm but gentle as he turned Ryan back around. "You weren't trying to run away where you?"

He smiled down at the smaller man and led him back to Javier, who was glaring daggers through Ryan. He'd noticed the attempted escape. "Kevin, what the hell?" He hissed. "I turn my head for two minutes…"  
"You tricked me." Alexis pouted.

Ryan apologized quickly, staring down at his feet. "But I have to go." He whined. "I appreciate you helping me but if I have to finish my job, they're going to come looking for me when I don't turn in the money." He patted his chest pocket which held an envelope stuffed with cash. If Warrek didn't receive it soon, he would know something was up.

"Forget it." Javier snapped. He took Kevin from Castle's hold and led him out of the hospital. "You're not doing any drug jobs on my watch." He loaded Ryan in the car and shut the door on him when he opened his mouth to argue. All further arguments were fended off the entire ride to Castle's.

Kevin crossed his arms and pouted, flinching when the gesture pulled at his bandages. The car fell silent under the tension. He leaned his head against the window and watched the city pass by outside. He'd seen the city a million times before but here, in the car, with these people, he felt comfortable. (Even with Javier watching over him like an angry mama bear.) So much so that he drifted off into a lazy nap. He wasn't sure when or how long he was out but he woke to Castle shaking him gently. "Sorry to wake you but we're here."

Ryan groaned, he hadn't slept in days, save the few naps he'd somehow managed while hanging from the rope. He was so damn tired but he hadn't realized it until he finally stopped moving. He climbed reluctantly out of the car, stretched, and winced when everything hurt. Javier was carrying a plastic shopping bag in his hands, they must have stopped somewhere along the way. He followed the others up to the apartment like a zombie, swaying on his feet a few times, enough to make Javier hold him with a steadying hand. But it was halfway down the hall that something made him zap awake. The heavenly smell of delicious food drifted out of the writer's apartment. His mouth watered as Castle unlocked the door.

Kevin's stomach growled loud enough for everyone to hear as he spotted Martha behind the kitchen counter, laying out container after container across the surface. There was enough takeout food to feed the entire city. Chinese, pizza, subs, sushi, chicken, anything you could think of, it was there. He was certain his eyes were as big as the saucers that held the steaming soup as he looked across it all. Martha gasped upon his arrival. "Oh my dear boy!" She cried, rounding the counter. He stiffened when she embraced him in a brief, gentle hug. Ryan could see the mother in her as she glanced over him. "Who on earth could do such a thing to you." She said sadly. "Are you alright?"

He hadn't had so many people ask him that question in a long time. Usually when he showed up somewhere beaten and bruised, it was ignored. It was just part of the life he had. This was all so different from that, they cared. "I'll be okay." He said gently.

"Mother, what is all this?" Castle questioned from the kitchen. "I asked you to order some food, not all the food on the city block."

Martha turned her attention from Ryan. "Well, you didn't really explain the situation very well Richard. You just said that Kevin would be hungry, I didn't know how hungry nor what he was in the mood for so I thought it best just to buy everything I could think of."

"This is all for me?" Ryan asked meekly, his stomach growling again.

Castle smiled. "Yes of course."

Alexis and Martha joined him with matching gleeful smiles. (It was then that Ryan could clearly see the family resemblance.) "We're just happy you're back." The teen added. "We missed you."

Ryan stood in place, staring at them all… feeling guilty. They were being so kind and all he wanted to do was to run. That wasn't the normal response to behavior like this but it was all he knew. If the situation seemed dangerous, you ran. If you felt cornered, you ran. If you didn't know what to do, you ran. And right now, he had no idea what to do… his feet itched to make a break for the door. But Esposito, always the grounding force, gripped his shoulders and guided him to the counter. "Go on bro, I know you're hungry."

Kevin timidly took a plate and placed on a piece of pizza, but once he got started, he couldn't stop. The pizza was topped with noodles with a half a sub as a side and sushi rolls as a chaser. He did exactly as he was told and dug in, barely taking time in between bites to breathe. "God this is good." He said through a full mouth. He swallowed, realizing his bad manners, and grinned. "Thank you Martha… Castle." His mouth was full again as soon as the words left. It all tasted a hell of a lot better than the dirty garbage sandwich.

The others joined him in the feast and lighthearted conversation picked up. It felt good to laugh. Kevin was on his third plate of food when there was a knock at the door. Castle answered and Beckett's voice made Ryan stiffen. "Are they here?" She asked sharply.

Heels tapped the floor as she entered the apartment. Her eyes landed on Kevin and he slid off his stool, growing instantly nervous under her gaze. She had seemed angry when she entered but as soon as she saw him, pity took over. "Kevin." She said sadly. "What happened?"

"What does it look like?" Javier snapped before he could answer. "He was beaten." Kate glared at him and he softened his tone. "We found him in an alley."

"You make it sound like I'm a stray dog." Kevin grumbled.

Beckett lay a hand on his arm. "I'm glad you're back Ryan, we were worried about you. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." He was getting tired of saying that. Who knew it was so much work to have people that cared.

"You don't look okay." She said, taking his chin in her hand and turning his head to look him over. She saw quickly through his lie. "I assume you're not going to tell us who did this to you."

He stepped out of her hold and shoved is hands in his pockets. "No one did this to me, I'm fine."

Kate nodded. "You're getting a little predictable Ryan." He scowled, trying to look threatening but it was broken by a yawn. She smiled and stifled a laugh. "Well I'm just glad you're here, with us again."

"Is something wrong Beckett?" Esposito asked, noting a case file in her hand.

"Sort of." She held the file to her chest, her eyes darting to Ryan. "Actually we have a very big problem. A body was pulled out of the river this morning." She pulled a photo out of the file and handed it to Javier.

"Should you be sharing with me?" Esposito asked, taking the picture. "I'm still on probation."

"You're on probation?" Ryan squeaked. "Why?"

"He yelled at Captain Gates." Castle smirked. "In front of the whole department."

"Why?" Ryan asked again.

"Castle." Javier growled in warning when the writer opened his mouth. "Don't worry about it Kevin, it was nothing." He looked the picture over and his eyebrows pulled together. "This is…" Ryan looked over his shoulder at the crime scene photo of a man with a bullet hole between the eyes, he looked sort of familiar. "This is Samuel Brent." Kate nodded. "But I thought he was in our custody still?"

Beckett sighed and took the photo, snapping the file shut. "One of Warrek's lawyers showed up several days ago and argued his release. There was nothing we could do."

"S-Samuel Brent?" Ryan squeaked. "Samuel Brent is dead?" He backed away, running his hand through his hair.

"He was shot." Becket explained. "Point blank to the head and dropped in the river. We have no witnesses and no evidence to point us to the killer."

Kevin dropped onto the couch. He knew who the killer was. He remembered Danny's words from several days ago. ' _Thanks to you, Martin and I have a few things to take care of'._ Brent was what they had to take care of, they killed him, put a bullet in him for giving away McCray's name. Ryan bit down on his lip hard enough to break open the healing cut. He licked at the blood that seeped from it. The pain grounded him. He'd gotten used to feeling pain as a punishment. And right now, he felt he should be punished, for standing in this warm home, putting these kind and compassionate people in danger. Danny wasn't playing around. If he caught Ryan here he would make good on his promise and kill Javier, kill them all. He had to get out.

Esposito, Beckett, and Castle were all discussing the murder. They were just as convinced of Warrek's involvement as he was, which put them in more danger. Ryan stood suddenly, wincing as the rapid movement pulled his injuries. "I have to go." He declared.

Esposito sighed as if he'd been expecting it. He walked to the plastic bag he'd carried in and rummaged through it. "Fine but at least take some pain pills before you go. It should help." He shook a pill from a prescription bottle and handed it to Ryan. "The doctor prescribed them. He also prescribed plenty of rest, but you're obviously not getting any of that any time soon so you could at least take the meds before you leave." Kevin was surprised he wasn't raising hell to stop him from walking out. Was Javier giving up on him? He should be happy about that… but he wasn't.

It wasn't a difficult request. He could take a pill before he left, a relief from the pain would be welcomed. He popped the pain pill. "Are you happy?" Javier nodded. They stood awkwardly in silence as Ryan waited for Esposito to argue. He didn't, so Kevin spoke instead. "I'm sorry Javi, I know you went through a lot of trouble to find me, and I'm grateful-" He was interrupted by a long yawn. He was more tired than he thought. He shook it off and headed for the door. "I'm, um, grateful but I'm trying to do the right thing. Just do me a favor and forget about everything, stay away from Warrek and McCray and… and…" Kevin stumbled and leaned heavily against the door. God, he was so tired. His eyelids felt like they weighted a ton and his legs were turning to paper. "I just um… I uh…" He blinked several times to try and fend off the exhaustion.

It didn't work. His legs gave out and he collapsed but Javier was ready, he caught him from behind, looping strong arms under his. Wait… he was ready? He knew Kevin would collapse? His groggy brain put two and two together. "That wassn' a pain pill." He concluded as he was hauled backwards, the heels of his dirty shoes dragging across the floor. "You drug me." He concluded.

"Woops." Javier said unconvincingly. "I must have ' _accidently'_ mixed up those darn pain pills with the sleeping pills the doctor also prescribed. That's my bad bro."

"You are bad liar." Kevin said slowly.

He felt Javi's chuckle against his back. "On the contrary, I'm an excellent liar. I just fooled you."

Alexis was also ready at the couch with a pillow and blanket. Ryan scowled at her as he was dumped carefully on the couch. "You trick me."

"You tricked me first." She said matter-of-fact. "We made this plan in the car while you slept… after you tried to escape the hospital."

Esposito slid Kevin's coat off and lay him back into the pillows. "Don't worry, you're going to be just fine. I put Alexis in charge."

"Hey!" Castle whined.

"Please Castle, you do remember what happened last time I put you in charge?"

"… that's fair."

Alexis tucked Ryan in after Esposito removed his shoes. His eyes drooped but he forced them open. "Don' do anythin' stupid." He warned.

"Where's the fun in that?" Esposito searched Ryan's coat and pulled out the envelope of money. "I just want to help bro. You were so determined to finish this job so I thought I better do it for you."

His eyelids slid down again despite his sudden panic. "No Javi, nonono! It's too dangerous! You stay away."

Javier smiled. That soft, mischievous smirk was the last thing he saw before he lost the battle to keep his eyes open. "Relax Kev, I'm just going to pay Warrek a small visit. All we're going to do is… talk." He didn't believe him. But he couldn't argue because his friend's distressing words lulled him into a deep, drug-induced sleep.


	9. Confrontations and Deal Making

**Sorry it took me so long to get a new chapter up. I have been suffering from a bad case of the dreaded writer's block. Oh no! But I'm all better now, hooray, so more updates should be coming soon. In the meantime, please enjoy Chapter 9. Hope to hear from you all.**

Chapter 9:

Confrontations and Deal Making

Young Javier was ecstatic, he was so excited that he could hardly sit still. The only way he could have been more excited was if the Queen of England herself had called. But she wasn't the one who called, Daniel Warrek called. The phone threatened to slip out of his sweaty palms as he hid from his mother in his room. Of all the nights for her to actually be home. "Mr. Esposito are you still there?" Danny said from the other end.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. You can call me Javier if you want."

"Alright Javier." He grinned from ear to ear hearing Daniel Warrek use his name. "I've got a job for you if you're still interested."

"Yes! I'm still interested. I'll do it." He cried eagerly. He had to calm down, this was uncool.

Danny laughed. "Good. Now you said you were good with cars right?"

Javier nodded. "Yes sir. I'm great at breaking in and hotwiring. I can get into any car. That's my guarantee."

"Please don't call me sir. Makes me feel like my father."

"Sorry." He said quickly.

"It's okay. So here's the thing. I need a few fast cars, I need ones that can't be tracked back to us."

"So you want some lifted?"

"Exactly. I don't care where you get them just make sure they're fast and in good condition. I need one delivered by Friday. We'll talk more after that. Can you do it?"

"Of course sir- I mean Danny. No problem. Actually, it sounds like fun."

"Fantastic. I hope I can count on you. And of course, keep it discreet. I'm trusting you Javier. If you come through for me on this than you'll be hearing from me more often, with jobs other than just cars."

Esposito bounced in place. He did his best to play it cool. "Thank you, you won't regret this. I will not let you down."

"I hope not. Oh, and what about your friend, the one with the good face, will he be assisting you? I hope he's coming."

"Uh… no, no Kevin has nothing to do with any of this."

"Hm… that's a shame. Are you certain?"

"Yes, dead certain."

"Well, nothing in life is completely certain. Don't forget, I need it by Friday."

"Yes and thank you for this… Hello?" The dial tone rang out signaling that Warrek was gone. Javier hung up, still grinning. This was it. This was his in. If he pulled this off, he would be set for life. It did bother him that Danny kept asking about Kevin, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. No need to worry because as long he pulled this off, he would be on the fast track to becoming Daniel Warrek's right hand man. Things were looking up.

* * *

Beckett wouldn't let Esposito go to Warrek's alone. She barely wanted him to go at all. But he wasn't at work, she couldn't order him around… well, technically she couldn't order him around, she still tried. "You're still under Gates' orders to stay away from him." She reminded as their car came to stop at a light.

"I know." He said flatly. "I just don't care."

"You're putting your job at risk."

"Again, I don't care." His hands tightened on the steering wheel. "You saw what he did to Ryan. I'm not letting him get away with that."

"Espo." Kate scolded. "I don't like the way you say that. We are not going there to act as judge, jury, and executioner. We're cops, we're looking for facts."

"And the fact is, he beat the shit out of Ryan… or ordered his henchman to do it, but I don't really care about the details. Danny will pay."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Danny?" She questioned. "You never told me how you knew this guy from your past?" He shifted in his seat. She rolled her eyes. "Look, I understand you don't want to spill your guts about Ryan and your past with him, it's a sensitive subject, I get it. But you could at least tell me something."

"Just drop it!" He snapped harshly, feeling guilty as soon as it left his mouth.

She kept her calm. "Javier, please don't fight me on this. I'm not the enemy here. I'm trying to help. I know it may not seem like it sometimes but…" She faded off and sighed, glancing out the window instead of continuing.

Of course he knew Beckett wasn't the enemy. He was emotional, invested fully in this case, and she was the grounding force. The stable one. The one who had to remain detached. They always needed that when the cases hit home too hard. He was always that person when the case of Kate's mother came back around, and now it was her turn. It wasn't an easy job and he wasn't helping. Javier sighed. "When I was younger, I got in to trouble a lot."

Kate knew about his troubled past, she was the only one he'd ever shared that information with. "Okay." She said to let him know she had his full attention.

"I had this plan." The light changed to green and the car revved forward. "I planned on aligning myself with someone powerful so I didn't have to fight and claw my way up to the top. I chose Daniel Warrek. I was seventeen when I tried to weasel my way in with him but things didn't exactly turn out like I had hoped thanks to… well it just didn't."

She quietly contemplated what he'd told her. "Thank you, for telling me." She said with a smile. "It means a lot." Kate tapped her fingers on her leg as she continued to think. "So you knew Warrek… and you knew Kevin… and now Kevin works for Warrek. Did you have anything to do with-"

"Don't! Don't finish that question." He snapped, not at all sorry for his harsh tone this time. He was sharing but he still wasn't ready for that.

Beckett nodded. "Okay, sorry. Too much, got it." Javier pulled the car into the parking structure belonging to the Warrek Financials building. "So what exactly is the plan?" Kate asked as they unbuckled.

Javier slid out of the car and thought it over. "Confront Warrek and get him to confess." He answered simply.

"Oh… well nothing like a well laid plan to boost your confidence." She smiled to try and lighten the mood but he didn't return it. "Just try to remember that we're cops, and we have a certain duty to uphold the law."

Javier checked his gun. "Yeah, got it." He scoffed.

A brief moment of fear crossed Kate's face. "You're on probation, you shouldn't be carrying that."

"Yeah, got it."

The lobby was pristine, white and clean, without a single spot. It annoyed Javier. A large picture of Daniel's father hung at the far end. The elder Warrek had a friendly smile and kind eyes, he looked nothing like his wicked son. They approached the receptionist under the portrait, she smiled at them but held up a finger as she finished a call into her headset. "Be nice." Kate said in a final warning.

The woman lowered her finger. "Can I help you?"

"Hi." Beckett greeted in a friendly voice. "We're here to see Daniel Warrek."

She tapped away at her computer. "Do you have an appointment?"

Kate started a reply but Javier interrupted by slamming his badge on the counter. The woman flinched noticeably. "We don't need one. Warrek's office, now!"

"Oh… oh sorry." She squeaked nervously. "Top floor, last door."

Esposito glared at her, making the woman shrink, before turning towards the elevator. "I said be nice." Kate scolded.

"That was nice."

"Was not."

They stepped on the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. "He's got a finger print scanner." He pointed out. "That means he's hiding something. I wonder which floors we're not allowed to go to."

"Or maybe it's just a security measure. Javi, you're being paranoid."

"He beat Kevin, of course I'm paranoid. I have a right to be paranoid and pissed. I'm pissed Kate! And I'm not going to stop being pissed until Danny is either in my cuffs or at the end of my gun."

"Javier!"

He ran a hand down his face. "I know, okay! I can't shoot him but I really, really want to."

Beckett grinned. "I guess I feel better now that I at least know you know you can't shoot him."

"I know it but I make no promises not to do it." The elevator dinged and they stepped off into a large room buzzing with workers, doing whatever it was that Warrek's company actually did. Something with money but Javier didn't know for sure and he didn't really care, it wasn't his real business. They headed straight for a large pair of double doors in the back. Danny's name spanned across it in big gold letters. His stomach turned, a monster like him didn't deserve his name in gold letters. He pushed the doors open without knocking.

The room was just as he imagined it would be. Large floor to ceiling windows, expensive paintings on the walls, personalized stationary on the desk, a bar off to the right, stocked full of pricey alcohol. Everything about it screamed, ' _Look at me! I'm filthy rich!'_

Four pairs of eyes turned on the detectives as they entered. Danny sat behind a ridiculously large oak desk, there was a compensation joke to be made there. Martin McCray sat on a couch in the corner, he put away a book he'd been reading and stood as soon as the doors opened. Javier wondered if the man ever left Warrek's side. Two strangers sat in comfortable looking chairs in front of Danny's desk. "Detectives." Daniel said in surprise as he stood. "I wasn't expecting you. I was just finishing up a very important meeting. If you could just give me a minute I'll be right with you."

"Sorry but we don't have a minute." Javier growled. "We need to talk… now."

Danny's mouth pulled into a straight line. "I see." The smile returned quickly as he turned to his guests. "I suppose we covered everything I needed to, I'll be in touch." They stood and shook his hand. As they left, he wondered if they were Warrek Financials' clients or Warrek the Drug Lord's clients. "Please." Danny said. "Have a seat."

Beckett took one of the comfy chairs but Esposito remained standing. His eyes scanned both men. His gaze landed on McCray's bruised knuckles, he had no doubt they came from Ryan's beatings. His hand twitched towards his gun but he contained himself. "Can I get you anything?" Danny asked. "Water? Soda? Perhaps something stronger?"

"We're fine." Beckett said gently. "We just wanted to talk to you about Kevin Ryan."

Daniel rounded his desk and sat against its edge, placing himself dangerously only a few feet away from the homicidal detective. "Ah, yes of course. He's a great guy with bad circumstances. He's been working extra hard since he got back. I think he feels guilty about causing trouble."

Javier narrowed his eyes. "You seem oddly at ease about this whole thing. I mean, Ryan was caught with blood on his hands at a crime scene. Doesn't that bother you?"

Green eyes smirked. "Yes and that's a terrible thing but as my lawyer has proven, he has an alibi. You seem tense detective, are you sure you wouldn't like to sit?"

"I'm fine… thanks. What about Robert Sharp?"

Danny sighed. "He was the man who was murdered, right? I'm afraid I didn't know him. But I hear evidence came to light that he was involved in a drug trade, that's probably why Ryan went to see him. He slips back into old habits sometimes."

"Don't we all." Javier snapped.

He smiled. "Except for maybe you. You became a detective, I'm impressed. And you were in the army." Esposito straightened. How did he know? "I do my research." He said, waving it off. "Special Forces, very impressive. You've come a long way from that little deviant I met all those years ago. I'm happy for you."

Esposito chuckled, a reflex to hide his nerves. "And you've come a long way as well… with the help of daddy's money of course."

Warrek shrugged. "Well, some of us work hard and some of us are just lucky." He moved to the bar at the right of the room and poured himself a drink. "I'm sorry but I think I've gotten off subject, why exactly are you here?"

Beckett cleared her throat. "Kevin Ryan didn't show up to give his testimony. It's put quite a damper on our investigation. Do you know why?"

Daniel pretended to think it over. "No, I'm not sure. But I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"I thought you said he was working extra hard." Javier said quickly, hoping to catch him in a lie.

"I gave him some time off." He never hesitated with his lies. A good con man never does. "I didn't want him to push himself to hard. After all, what he went through would be traumatic for anyone." He sipped his drink and returned to his desk. "Javier- ah, I'm sorry, that was very informal. Detective Esposito I suppose it is now. Are you telling me you haven't seen Mr. Ryan at all?" Javier narrowed his eyes. "I'm just asking because you two were old friends, meeting up like this after all these years must have brought a desire to reconnect. Have you?"

Esposito knew he was just trying to find out if Kevin had been telling him information, baiting him into giving up his friend. "No… no we haven't talked since I last saw you. He doesn't want anything to do with me."

A wide grin spread across the man's face. He was delighted to hear it. "And rightly so." He said. "From what I hear you betrayed him pretty damn bad. I'm surprised he can even stand to look at you. But he's so forgiving, it's a bit of a weakness for him I think. But then again… he doesn't know the whole story, does he? I'm guessing you never told him what you promised me."

"Shut up!" Esposito shouted as he balled his hands into fists and slammed them down on the top of the polished oak desk. "I'm tired of playing your games! I know you have more to do with this murder, make that two murders now, and I'm not leaving here without a confession."

McCray reacted to the outburst, moving quickly towards them. He was a hair's length away from grabbing Esposito when Danny held up a hand, stopping him in his tracks. A smug grin split his face. "And what evidence do you have to support such an outrageous claim detective?" Javier's mouth twitched. He had nothing. Even Kevin hadn't yet really given up his name. "As I suspected." He sighed. "Please detective, I'm a busy man. I have no time for long held grudges. You can show yourselves out. You'll be hearing from my lawyers for putting me through this ridiculous little show."

He pulled some papers out of his desk and pretended to look busy. Javier took two steps back to calm himself before reaching in his coat and pulling out the envelope of cash. He tossed it directly in front of Warrek and smiled when the man froze. "I believe that belongs to you." He gloated. "That's a full payment for the job you sent Ryan on."

"So you have seen him." He said quietly, counting the money in the envelope. He slipped it in a drawer and stood, his eyes falling on Beckett. "Detective Beckett, do you think I could have a moment alone with Detective Esposito, I would like to catch up with my old friend." If it was possible, Javier's stomach knotted even more. They were not friends. "My associate can give you a tour of my company while we talk." He motioned for McCray and the man reacted like a dog at a command. He moved to the door and held it open for Kate.

She shook her head. "I don't think that-"

"It's fine Beckett." Javier interrupted. "I've got this." She sent him a pointed glance, making sure it was really okay. He nodded and she sighed before heading for the door.

"Oh, and if you could please take any weapons the detective has as well." Warrek added. "Guns make me nervous. Especially on men with anger issues. I don't like them on my property." Javier grumbled a few curses and reluctantly pulled off his service weapon, handing it to Beckett before she left.

After the others had gone and just Warrek and Esposito were left, the room fell deadly silent. You could have heard an ant sneeze in the quiet that took them over. Both men stared each other down, green battling hazel eyes in an all out war. Neither gave in and a truce was called. Danny moved to the front of his desk again but this time he didn't lean, he stood straight, letting his full height tower over Javier in a poor attempt to scare him. He laughed when Esposito didn't flinch and finally spoke. "Kevin Ryan belongs to me." He said in a tone that was somehow calm and menacing all at once. Daniel Warrek was finally showing his true face.

Javier's jaw clenched tight, along with his fist. And before he knew it he'd drawn his hand back and struck Warrek hard across the face. "Kevin Ryan belongs to no one. Least of all you." He hissed as Danny stumbled back, holding his nose. "He is my friend, and I won't allow you too-"

"You're friend?" Danny asked with a laugh as he stood straight. "He's your friend? Is that really how you see him?" He moved his hand, revealing a fresh stream of blood running from his nose. He seemed un-phased by it, like he'd been expecting this reaction. He simply pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed the blood.

"Yes of course!" Esposito snapped, raising his fist again. He couldn't help it, the man just made him react wildly.

Warrek held up a hand. "I wouldn't do that again." He warned. "I've got cameras all over this office. I think one punch will serve as enough evidence should I choose to have you removed from your job Detective. If I have my facts straight, you shouldn't even be here right now, should you? That doesn't look to good for you detective." His words were spat in a mix of anger and disgust. Javier forced himself to relax, he was treading on dangerous waters after all. Danny finished cleaning his nose and picked up his drink. "And Kevin does belong to me whether you like it or not. All I've got to do is snap my fingers." He did just that, the snap making Javier flinch. "And the little leprechaun comes running. He'd do anything for me. I bet he'd even kill you if I asked him too." He smirked and sipped his drink.

"He wouldn't." Esposito growled.

"Are you certain?" It was a simple question but not one he could honestly answer. He had no idea what Ryan would do. Danny beamed at the detective's silence. "And it's taken me a long time to get him that way so I can't just have you coming in here and reforming him on your ridiculous hero's crusade. He had to endure quite the beating over the past week because of you."

Javier's eyebrows shot up. "So you admit it. You tortured him."

Danny waved a dismissive hand. "Of course I did. Hung him from the ceiling like a dopey piñata for days." He said casually. "Martin is rather creative with his torture, I had thought this one had gotten through his thick little skull but it looks like I'll have to do it all over again."

Esposito jumped forward and gripped the lapels of Warrek's expensive suit jacket, shoving him back into his desk. "You're not touching him again!" He roared.

"Cameras." Warrek reminded. Esposito released him, reminding himself that now was not the time. He straightened his jacket and frowned. "Now you've made me spill my drink."

He moved to the bar, putting space between them. It was exactly what Javier needed, he wanted nothing more than to beat the shit out of this man, the same way he had done to Ryan. Each word that came from his mouth made him care less and less about the consequences. "Why is Kevin so important to you?" He questioned, once he'd calmed. "Why can't you just let him go?"

Danny finished mixing his new drink and inspected it. "Investment." He answered. "As I said, I've put a lot of time and effort into him. I bet Kevin hasn't even given you my name. He's the perfect little lap dog and I can't just lose that." He smirked. "Especially not to you."

"So this is all just retaliation on me?" Esposito scoffed. "That's pathetic."

Warrek smiled. "Maybe… but seeing you squirm like this does feel really damn good."

Javier laughed. "You are just as arrogant as you always were."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Don't act as if you're not doing the same thing. You really should come down off that high horse of yours. Especially since you and I are not all that different."

Javier forced out another laugh. "Oh really? And how exactly am I anything like you?"

Danny circled in front of the large windows, looking out over the city as he thought. When he turned to Javier a new expression shadowed his face. Something much darker than the emotionless man before. "You and I are a special breed of men Javier. We're driven and ambitious. Just look at what we've managed to accomplish. I'm a high-class business man, and you're a… mildly successful detective with the NYPD. And do you know how we managed to get where we are? Because we will do anything to get what we want. We clawed, and scratched, and climbed our way to the top. We did what we had to, didn't we Javier? No matter who got hurt." Esposito tried to swallow the lump in his throat, he knew where Warrek was going. He'd already brought it up earlier. He stepped closer to the detective, knowing he was hitting the very spot he'd aimed for. "He's not your friend and he never was. He was just a means to an end. If you remember right, you're the one that left him on my doorstep all wrapped up in a bloody little bow. And now you feel guilty about it. Face it, you wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for the guilt digging a hole in the pit of your stomach. This isn't about saving poor little Kevin Ryan, this is about you. It always has been. It was about you when you left him to rot in that gutter and it's about you now. So don't come in here acting like I'm some self-serving bastard who uses people to get what I want when you're just the same. Looking at you now Javier is like looking in a mirror."

It took Javier a few minutes to recover from a blow like that. "You can call me anything you want." He said, his own voice sounding small. "But I'm not afraid of you."

Danny's face twisted into a wicked grin. "A fool may not be afraid of the water that's drowning him but that doesn't make him any less of a dead man. Go home detective. Count the days you have left. You've been beaten. I warned Kevin not to go back to you and I'm going to make good on my warning. Now, killing a cop is messy thing but I have a better idea."

Esposito's nails dug into his palm as he fought not to raise his fists against Warrek again. "And what is that?"

Danny grinned, happy he asked. "I'm going to ruin you Javier Esposito. First, I'll take your job. That should be easy enough. Then I'll destroy your reputation so thoroughly your friends will lose all faith in you. And finally, when you're jobless, broke, and alone, I'm going to make sure you know how the very person that you're doing all this for will be back here with me. Because Kevin Ryan is not your friend and he is not your ticket to a guilt free life. He. Belongs. To me. End of story." He reveled in Esposito's stunned silence, smirking all the way back to his desk and taking a seat. "I want you and that pretty female detective out of my building and if any of you step foot near me again, even that idiot writer, then you should know I'm not afraid to deal with the mess of killing a cop or two." He picked up a pen and started back to work, acting as if Javier had already gone.

Esposito stood in the silence of the room. He knew Warrek would do everything he just threatened to do, he also knew he was more than capable of pulling it all off without a hitch. Sure, Esposito could arrest him right now but without any evidence or a word other than his own, it wouldn't get him very far. If Danny said he would ruin everything Javier had, then he would do it.

He knew it all and understood every risk… he just didn't care. Javier took a deep breath, taking a minute before he threw everything away. "You know, I think I will have that drink after all." He said, trying to sound confident even though he didn't feel it. He moved to the bar and poured himself a drink, picking the most expensive bottle he could find. He was quickly realizing that coming here unprepared had been a mistake. Brash and emotional was not the way to deal with this guy, he should have known better. He needed a plan, and he needed time to prepare. But most importantly, he needed to keep Kevin out of his hands.

"Are you dense?" Danny scoffed. "I said leave or I'll-"

He downed his glass in one gulp. "Yeah, I get it, 'or you'll ruin me.'" He mocked Danny's voice. Javier smiled when the man's smug face fell into a frown. "You're very scary. And you're little speech was… annoying actually, sort of melodramatic, but very moving. Maybe you're right, maybe we are the same. Maybe I am using Ryan to make myself feel better. The guilt has been eating away at me for a long time. He's my biggest mistake. I never meant for Kevin to be my friend but he wore on me, he's good at that."

Danny chuckled and leaned on his elbows. "He is adorable isn't he? That's why he's so useful to me. He's painfully sweet and forgiving."

"Yes, yes he is. Did you know he's not even mad at me for what I did? I mean, how the hell could he not be? I ruined his life. I'd be furious, but then again I tend to hold a grudge." His last words were fired directly at Daniel.

Warrek narrowed his eyes. "I have a feeling you're getting at something detective, so why don't you get there. I am a very busy man."

Esposito grinned. "It's simple Danny, I want to make a deal. I know how you like making deals."

Warrek's face rose in genuine surprise. "That is very bold of you detective. I'm impressed. But it better be good because I'm going to enjoy watching you burn."

Javier's finger's twitched. "The deal is, you leave me alone and give me one week with Kevin to make things right. In exchange, I'll bury everything. The murders, the drug trade… everything. I'll make sure the 12th precinct never investigates you again. I'll take care of it all, you won't have to lift a finger."

Danny leaned back, looking him over for any signs of a lie. "I don't believe you."

"I really don't want to lose my job, I've worked too hard to get here." Javier leaned against the desk. "Come on Danny. It must be a lot of work to bury not just one murder, but two. A man on the inside would make it a hell of a lot easier." Warrek sighed, he didn't believe him. He would have to sell it. "Look, you were right. I thought making up for what I did would be simpler. But Kevin is too far gone, I can't save him. He was my friend… a long time ago but thanks to you, that man is gone, and all that's left is that pathetic little man. I didn't want to admit it but I can't take it anymore, you showed me that."

Playing to the man's narcissistic side would win him some points. It worked perfectly. Danny grinned. "He's become too much of a handful eh?"

"You have no idea. I mean, he's insulted me, fought with me, and attacked me more than once. He's become a pain in my ass. And if I can't ease my guilt in a week than I give up. I can't have him ruining everything I've worked so hard for."

"I'm no idiot Javier, I know you're playing some angle but…" He grinned victoriously. "I'm happy to hear you admit your faults. Alright, you've got yourself a deal, I'll give you until the end of this week."

Esposito scoffed. "That's only four days."

"I also want you to stop investigating me and, when this is all over, I want you to deliver Kevin to me personally." He stood and rounded the desk, offering out his hand. "Those are my conditions, take it or leave it."

Javier took his hand. "Fine, four days."

Warrek smiled and they shook on it. "I guess this makes us partners."

"Not hardly." Esposito said before he gripped the man's hand tight and landed a fist hard into Danny's guy. He doubled over, gripping his stomach while Javier hissed into his ear. "I still despise you Daniel and when this is all over, I'll look forward to never seeing your smug face again." He pushed him away and left the office as Danny struggled to pull in breaths of air.

* * *

Kevin's heart raced as he ran toward the meeting spot Javier had given him. The teenager didn't sound good on the phone, he sound panicked and confused. It was late and Javi had called him to a very unsavory part of town but it was Javier, so Kevin swallowed his fear and worry and rushed to his friend's aid. A police car flew by and squealed to a stop at a parking lot a block down the road, not a good sign. He ducked through a doorway and into the bar he'd been instructed to find. To his surprise, nobody paid any mind to the teenager inside the bar, not one person seemed to care he was under age. Javier was waiting in a back corner booth as promised, hovering over an untouched bottle of soda. He had his head down and a baseball cap pulled down over his face when Kevin slid in the seat. He flinched slightly at the sudden presence. "Javi?" Kevin said quietly.

"Kev!" He cried happily. "Thank god you're here." He reached out and gripped the Irish boy's sleeve desperately. "Dude, I'm in deep shit here you have to help me."

It took Kevin a moment to make out a bright bruise blossoming at the side of his eye. "Did you get in a fight?"

Javier rubbed his forehead. "I wish it was just a fight. I messed up man, I messed up big time." He dropped his head to the table with a weary sigh.

He was worried for his friend. He had never seen Javier looking so distraught. Usually he had it all together. "It's okay bro. Start from the beginning. Tell me what happened."

Javi lifted his head but his gaze stayed glued to the table. "Warrek called and offered me a job." The shame was clear in his voice. He paused, waiting for Kevin to scold him. But Javier already knew how he felt about Warrek, there was no need to hash it up now. He stayed quiet and let him continue. "He wanted me to steal a car."

"What for?" He questioned.

Javier shrugged. "Does it matter? This was my big opportunity… and I blew it." He ran his fingers into his hair and tugged. "I'm an idiot!"

Kevin reached across the table and pulled his hands away. "Calm down, what happened?"

"He needed something fast and in good condition. I was determined to find the perfect car. I wanted to impress him so I picked out this red Ferrari, it was fast and cool as hell! But I got in over my head. As soon as I got the thing unlocked I set the alarm off. Usually I can have those things disabled in seconds but I was nervous. I couldn't get it to stop wailing!" He dropped his head to the table again, thumping it lightly a couple times as punishment.

Kevin lifted his head back up before he hurt himself. "Okay, then what happened?"

"Then the car's owner showed up, some preppy college kid and a bunch of his friends. They picked a fight with me, one of them got a punch in. I ran when I heard the cops." Javier let out a long whine. "I was supposed to have it delivered tonight. I let Warrek down, and to make matters worse, everyone and their brother is going to know a bunch of frat guys beat me up. My life is over." Ryan leaned back in the uncomfortable booth and laughed. Javier glared at him. "What's so funny?"

"You're very dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic," He squeaked. "I'm- I brought you here to help me not make fun of me."

"But it's so easy." Javi glared harder. "Well what do you want me to do?"

"Well you could start by telling me this isn't the end? That I've got a lot going for me."

"This isn't the end Javi, you've got a lot going for you."

"That's not funny."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Well what did you expect? I told you to stay away from that guy."

"You don't understand!" He snapped a little too loud. "I would do anything to get in with Warrek, the guy is smart, I could learn a lot. Not to mention he's got money to burn. I'd do anything Kev."

"And that right there is the problem. You're too desperate Javi. It's pathetic."

"You're pathetic!" Javier snapped before calming. "Sorry, I'm sorry. You're right."

Kevin smiled and leaned forward. "But you are better than this Javi. You're a good person, you're just a little rebellious by nature. But you'll get through this, everything is going to be okay." Red and blue lights flashed the windows, drawing their attention. "But for now it looks like we'll be lying low for a little bit. You hungry? I got a little cash."

Javier sighed and grabbed the menu. "Starving."

He scanned the list of burgers. "So, this is the last I'll be hearing of Daniel Warrek I hope."

Another heavy sigh. "Yes, I think so. He'll never take me now."

"Good, cause I really hate that guy." Javier laughed, cheering up with his good friend at his side. Why had Javier called him here? It wasn't as if he could actually do anything? Just for comfort perhaps. He was his trusted. The thought made Kevin smile. "As far as I'm concerned, we'll both be better off if we never see him again."


	10. The Best Laid Plans

Chapter 10:

The Best Laid Plans

Ryan burst through the doors of Warrek's office. Javier was on his knees, blood covered his face and hands. A gun was pressed to his forehead. Danny laughed, his wicked green eyes grinned with delight as he pulled the trigger. Ryan was too late.

"Javi!" Kevin shouted, jerking awake. The gunshot still echoed in his ears.

Soft blue eyes looked down over him. He felt a cold towel move across his forehead. "Shhh, it's okay." Alexis said gently, like she were consoling an infant. "It was just a dream."

Ryan calmed his breathing, his chest was slick with sweat and his hands shook. It took a few minutes for his head to clear and remember where he was at. Castle's loft, on the couch, drugged. "Where's Javier?" He questioned, trying to push himself up.

Alexis laid a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back to the pillows. "Calm down, he's fine. He was here a few hours ago."

Ryan let out a shaky breath. "Did he go to Warrek? Was he hurt?"

Alexis was doing her best to hide a smile. "He was fine, I promise." She ran the ice cold towel over his forehead again. "He came back to check on you and stayed the night. You were still fast asleep this morning, so he went back out. He took my dad too. They cooked up some kind of plan last night." She lifted a glass of water. "Here, drink up."

He downed half the glass, not realizing how thirsty he was. "Wait, what do you mean he stayed the night?" He asked when he was finished. "What time is it? How long have I been asleep?"

Alexis checked the clock. "It's almost ten in the morning, you've been asleep since five yesterday."

"What?" He cried, pushing himself up again. "I've been asleep for seventeen hours!"

"You were tired."

"I was drugged!" Alexis couldn't stop him this time. He got up and shed the blankets, a few extra had found their way on top of him over night. He was wearing a t-shirt two sizes too big, it wasn't his shirt. He searched the apartment for his coat, Alexis scrambled about behind him, trying desperately to get him back on the couch. He wasn't wearing socks either… wasn't he wearing socks when he fell asleep? He stopped in the middle of the apartment when he realized something else. "I was wearing jeans when I fell asleep." He said, noting the grey sweatpants he had on that were also a few sizes too big. "Where are my jeans?"

Alexis shifted. "Detective Esposito threw them away, he said they were dirty and smelled like garbage. My dad loaned you some of his sweatpants and a t-shirt, they agreed it would be better for your injuries too."

"Oh they agreed did they?" He scoffed sarcastically. "And where was I when these decisions were made? That's right! Drugged!" The poor girl flinched. He couldn't help but feel guilty, it wasn't her fault. Ryan calmed himself before he spoke again. "What about my coat?"

Alexis fidgeted again. "Esposito threw it away, he threw everything away. They all smelled like trash and were stained with blood."

"He had no right!" Ryan snapped again. "Sorry, I'm sorry." He said right away, softening immediately. "I just… first he drugs me, now he steals my clothes. I am a grown man, I don't need him treating me like this. I am not a child." Kevin let out a long sigh, rubbing his forehead. "Are you sure he's okay. He didn't look hurt or distressed or anything?"

He had barely noticed that Alexis was leading him back to the couch while he ranted. Somehow, he'd ended up back on the soft cushions, she draped a blanket around his shoulders. "I promise Kevin, he wasn't hurt. He wasn't upset or angry or anything. He actually seemed kind of happy. Are you hungry? We have plenty of takeout leftovers or I can make you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry. He was happy? About what?"

Alexis dished out some leftovers and warmed them. She brought them back to the living room and sat a plate of pizza and Chinese in front of him. "I don't know. Like I said, he and my dad cooked up a plan and took off."

He bit into the pizza. "What sort of plan? What was it for?"

She shrugged and fluffed his pillows. "They didn't say. After you eat, if you feel like a nap you can take one. It's okay to be tired."

"A nap? I'm not in kindergarten." He said with a smirk. Alexis smiled and twisted a cap off of a bottle. She held a pill out and Ryan eyed it suspiciously. "I'm not falling for that again."

She laughed. "It's not a sleeping pill, its medicine." Kevin narrowed his eyes. She grabbed his hand and placed the pills in his palm before handing him a glass of water. "Please… for me."

Ryan sighed and took the pills. "I don't know how you make me do things I don't want to do."

"It's a gift."

He waited for drowsiness to take over but it never came. "So where are Javier and Castle now?"

"They went to the precinct." Alexis took his empty plate, he was hungrier than he thought. "They left a few hours ago."

"The precinct? I thought Javi was on probation." Ryan stood back to his feet while the teen was busy in the kitchen. "Where are the clothes you bought me?" He asked, searching the apartment again.

"Why?" She dropped the dishes in the sink. "You don't need them, you need to rest."

Kevin found the shopping bags behind the couch and dug through them. "No, I don't need to rest. I need to make sure Javier isn't doing anything stupid. Because chances are he's doing something very, very stupid." He pulled out a pair of jeans, a dark button up shirt, and of course, socks.

"Wait. You can't go anywhere. I promised Detective Esposito." Alexis followed him to the bathroom and stood outside while he changed. "Please Kevin, you're still recovering, you should be resting."

He pulled on the new clothes carefully. "I'm fine Alexis. I slept for seventeen hours remember? I think I rested enough." He washed up quickly and stepped back out. "How do I look?"

She crossed her arms. "Very nice but that's not the point." He found his shoes, at least Javier hadn't thrown those away, and struggled to pull them on with the pain in his stomach. Alexis sighed and helped him. "Fine, if you're so determined, I'll go with you to the precinct. Just to make sure that's where you're going."

"I don't need a babysitter." Ryan grumbled as he opened the door.

Alexis followed him out and smiled. "Yes you do."

* * *

"Your birthday is coming up." Kevin said with a large smile. "It's in a week, right?"

Javier peered over his comic book. They two boys were lounging in Kevin's room on a lazy Sunday afternoon. "How did you know that? I never told you my birthday."

If it was possible the young Irishman's grin widened. "I have my ways."

He raised the book again and tilted his chair back, propping his feet up on the bed. "I don't want to know what that means. So what's the big deal?"

Kevin shifted excitedly on his bed. "It's your eighteenth birthday!" He cried. "It's very exciting. We have to do something big. I was thinking a party, we could invite most of the school, even Henry and his football gang, you know, as a peace offering. It'll be huge and fun and-"

"No parties!" Javier snapped, his chair dropping to the floor with a thump. "I don't want a party, especially not one you throw. I've been to your families parties, they all consist of punch bowels and charades, about as lame as they come. Not my kind of party bro."

Kevin pouted. "Hey, I could throw a pretty good shindig."

The Hispanic laughed. "Just the fact that you are calling it a 'shindig' tells me you probably can't." The pout increased. "Just relax, it's fine. I don't want to do anything. I'm still too depressed."

Kevin collapsed dramatically back onto the bed. "Ugh! Not the Warrek thing again. I thought you finally let that go."

"I'm never letting that go." He grumbled. "I don't want to do anything. My mom usually makes me a cake, you can come over and have that with us if you have to."

Kevin popped up, suddenly reinvigorated. "Okay, if you want to be boring, we'll just hang out here."

"You're just saying that. I can see it in your face, you want to throw a surprise party. That's even worse than a regular party."

His shoulders slumped forward. "Fine." He whined. "We'll go out and do something. Just you and me. This is New York City, we can find something fun to do."

Javier narrowed his eyes. "Just the two of us? No party? You promise?"

Kevin grinned again. "I promise."

"Okay but after my mom's cake, she gets pretty excited about that. She makes it every year. You have to come to that. I'm sure she'd love it."

"Really? She would?"

Javi's mouth tilted into a crooked smile. "Please, you're like the one decent friend I've ever had. Sometimes I think she loves you more than me."

Kevin laughed. "I doubt that but I'm flattered. It's a deal, I'll be there. And do I also have your permission to get you a present?"

Javier rolled his eyes. "Well duh, I'm not going to pass up presents. Just make sure it's something cool, I don't want any sweater vests."

"Are you sure? Because I was thinking I could get us a matching set." He managed a straight face for two second before cracking a smile. "Who wouldn't want that? We'd be adorable."

"That's not funny."

* * *

Esposito punched the precinct elevator button and the doors started to close. Castle slipped in with just enough time. "Thanks for waiting." The writer grumbled as the floors began to rise.

"I told you to hurry. We don't have time to waste."

"I stopped for two seconds to say hi to someone." He squeaked. "You were walking fast enough to break the sound barrier."

"I was not." Esposito flipped open a file in his hands. "I just want this stuff ran as soon as possible."

"I thought this trip was going to be more fun than running around to a bunch of office buildings." Castle said with a sigh. "We could have at least stopped for lunch."

Javier glared at him. "What part of 'in a hurry' is confusing to you?"

The writer shifted. "Well, none of it but I'm starving." The elevator stopped to let off some people, leaving Castle and Esposito alone. "So how sure are you about this plan? I mean, you're putting a lot at risk here. Now, I only met this Warrek guy once but it won't be easy going after a guy that has enough money and power to buy his own city."

"I got this Castle."

"Did you really agree to hand over Ryan?" The question made Esposito flinch. Castle didn't notice. "I mean I know we have a plan and all but I can't believe you agreed to that? What exactly did you and Warrek talk about yesterday?"

"Just leave it alone Castle. I didn't tell Beckett and I'm not telling you."

"Yeah well you've been doing an awful lot of 'not telling' lately, it's hard to keep track." Rick grumbled.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Javi snapped.

The writer turned to face him head on. "I mean you and Ryan. There's some big, dark secret there that is clearly tearing away at you and you're just keeping it all bottled up. You need to talk about it, get it off your chest, it'll make you feel better. Either that or it's all going to build up and explode in your face."

"Hey!" Javier moved dangerously towards Castle making him back into the elevator wall. "It's my past, not some drama for your entertainment."

"I know but-"

"If I want to keep it bottled up than that is my decision. You have no idea what I did and… and just how bad it was." He swallowed as he began to lose his edge. Castle noticed his voice crack. Javier backed up and faced the doors again. This elevator ride seemed to really be taking its time. "I made a mistake… and Ryan was the one that paid for it." He didn't want to tell anyone because he didn't like the way it made him look. Maybe Warrek was right, maybe this was only about him and his monstrous guilt. "That's a lie though…" He said, the words barely audible even in the quiet of the elevator. "I didn't make a mistake. I knew exactly what I was doing when I left him…"

The elevator doors slid open and offered Javier a quick escape. He bolted, grateful to leave behind the confessing mood the tight quarters put him in. Luckily a commotion going on in the middle of the bullpen pulled both men's attention away from the conversation they were just about to have. "No! I don't want to go. I want to see him now!" Javier froze. That voice was too familiar.

"I told you, he's not here right now." Beckett said, unwavering even though all attention of the precinct had turned on her, Kevin, and Alexis.

Alexis held Ryan's arm, trying to tug him gently away. "Please Kevin. He's not here, we should go, maybe come back later."

He pulled out of her grip and dropped into Javier's chair. Crossing his arms like a defiant child. "I'm not leaving until I can see for myself that he's okay. Plus I want to yell at him…" Beckett raised an eyebrow. "What? He drugged me and stole my clothes!"

"I'm here!" Javier cried, wishing he could cover Ryan's big mouth with a whole roll of duct tape. Kevin's attention snapped in his direction. "What are you doing here?" Javi scolded, stepping quickly towards his desk. "You shouldn't have-"

He was cut off when Ryan suddenly jumped out of the chair and wrapped Javier in a tight hug. It surprised him, he didn't think to react until Kevin pulled away. "You're okay." He said in relief. "I was afraid that…" He broke off, looking Javier over one last time before anger took over. "You drugged me!" He snapped, shoving him in the shoulder. "And why did you take my clothes? They were mine."

A few chuckles sounded from across the room. "Well, technically they were my clothes. I loaned them to you before you disappeared, remember?"

Kevin shifted, searching for an argument. "The coat was mine!" He blurted. Clearly he just wanted to be angry right now. "And you just threw it away."

"I'll buy you a new one." Esposito grumbled. "Do you think we could take this somewhere else, like Castle's apartment? You shouldn't be here Ryan." He glanced to the Captain's office. Thankfully she was out at the moment. "Bro, if Gates sees you here-"

"You drugged me!" He spat again. "You couldn't have thought I would just let that go." Shuffled whispers echoed from the crowd. "And if that wasn't bad enough, you went to see-"

"Okay, that's it!" Javier interrupted quickly. He grabbed Ryan and dragged him to the interview room, closing the door and pulling the blinds. "Are you trying to get me fired?"

Kevin crossed his arms. "Why are you even here? I thought you were on probation?"  
"I talked Captain Gates into letting me back on this case. Sit."

Ryan dropped onto the couch. "You must be very persuasive." He scoffed.

"I've been told that." He took the seat across from Kevin. "I must be because I talked Warrek into letting you off the hook for a few days."

Ryan stared at his hands. "What uh… What do you mean?"

"I know everything Kev. Warrek confessed." Blue eyes drifted up to meet his. "He confessed to the drug business, he told me about the torture, he even confessed to both murders. You don't need to cover for him anymore."

Kevin narrowed his eyes. "I'm not stupid, if he confessed you would have arrested him."  
"It's not that simple. He's got too much leverage. But I bought us some time."

"In exchange for what?" Ryan asked with a raised eyebrow. "Because I know Warrek wouldn't give up anything for free."

Esposito stood and crossed the room, putting some space between them. He had trouble lying to Ryan when he was looking him in the eye. "I made a deal but you don't need to worry about the details."

Ryan dropped his head into his hands. "Oh god Javi, you did something stupid, didn't you?"

"I did not." He snapped in defense. "But it doesn't matter because I've got a plan."

"What sort of plan?"

Esposito was very happy he asked. He sat across from Kevin and laid out his plan. "I was thinking about something Castle said back while we were looking for you. He suggested we find more people like Samuel Brent. I think there are more people within his company or other companies that work for Warrek. As big as his drug business is there has to be more people like Brent. And there has to be more like you. If I can find enough people that aren't afraid and are willing to talk, we can build a case against him, there's no way that Danny and his army of lawyers can fight them all."  
Kevin nodded. "That's a good plan but you've got one problem."

Javier crossed his arms. "What?"

"Everyone is afraid of Danny." He said flatly. "That's what he's good at, creating fear is his specialty. No one will talk."

Esposito shook his head. "I don't believe that. Yes, it's exactly what Danny has worked so hard to prevent, but I think if at least one steps up, more will join." As Ryan thought it over Javier pulled out the file he'd brought and laid it open on the table. "I've already fished out some people, all I've got to do is find someone to start the ball rolling, someone to show them they don't have to be afraid… someone like you Kev."

It took a moment to sink in but Ryan reacted exactly as Javier expected him too. "Me?" He cried, jumping up. "You want me to… but I am afraid Javi. I'm more afraid than any of them."

"Which is exactly why you are the perfect one to do it. I mean, if you can be brave enough to stand up to him than the others will too."

Ryan laughed nervously. "And then what? I'll end up just like Brent. Dead. You'll get to pull my body out of the river yourself."

"I won't let that happen." Javier stated calmly. "The bottom line is, Danny needs to come down. If he gets away with this again, he's just going to keep doing it. More people are going to get hurt."

Ryan shook his head sharply. "No, no I can't do this Javier. You cannot make me-"

"I'm not." Esposito interrupted. Kevin stared at him in confusion. "I'm not going to make you do this Kev."

"Wha-why not? It's the right thing to do."

"It is but this is not my decision." Javier stood and placed himself in front of Ryan. "I know how hard it would be for you to stand up against Warrek."

"Not to mention dangerous." Ryan snapped.

"Not to mention dangerous." Javier repeated with a laugh. "It's easier for me because I haven't been through what you've been through. A whole lifetime of pain would make anyone afraid." He shifted, his gaze falling down to his restless feet. "And I take responsibility for all of it."

The room fell silent before Ryan spoke. "You know I don't blame you Javi."

"I know… and I don't know why. You should blame me." Esposito finally looked back into his friend's face. Kevin gave him a small smile, that same gentle grin he'd always carried as a teenager. The one that was more for Javier's benefit than his own. "Look, the thing is I don't want to tell you what to do anymore. I don't want Warrek to tell you what to do either. All your life you've had someone else calling the shots, but not this time. I want you to think for yourself."

"What about your big plan? What will you do if I say no?"

He shrugged. "We'll think of a new plan. It might be a little more difficult but we'll find another way to trap Warrek. I'm not going to force this one. It's your decision."

Ryan stepped back. He paced back and forth between the couch and the door. Javier could see him struggling. For all these years he had someone else telling him every move he made and now Javier was forcing him to think for himself. It was a terrifying place to find himself in. Kevin stopped pacing and Javier held his breath. "I can't do it." He said quietly. "I'm sorry. It's too much to ask. I'm not… I'm not brave enough."

Esposito let out the breath. He tried to hide his disappointment with a smile. "I know you're brave enough but it's your decision." He sunk onto the couch and closed the file folder. "We'll figure something else out. Maybe I can find someone else to talk."

"You're disappointed." Ryan said sadly.

"No… well, maybe a little but I understand Kev. It's okay."

Ryan dropped onto the couch but popped back up when the door suddenly opened. "Mr. Ryan." Gates said as she crossed her arms. "I had a feeling you'd be back." Castle and Beckett stood behind her looking defeated. Apparently, they'd failed at keeping her out of the room. But the stern Captain softened as her eyes took in Ryan, bandages, bruises, and all. Her gaze shifted to Javier. "I have a very strong feeling this has something to do with Daniel Warrek. Even though you promised me specifically, Detective Esposito, that you'd stay away from him." She stepped back out into the bullpen, the boys followed. "But I also have a feeling the three of you, or is it the four of you now, are taking care of it. Just… keep me and the precinct out of it." Castle gave a wide grin as the Captain stepped back into her office. "And promise me you'll all take care of it for good." She added before closing the door.

"Uh, what just happened?" Ryan questioned. "What was that?"

Esposito smiled. "That was the Captain giving us the green light to shut down Warrek for good. So I suggest we take it and quick. We've only got three more days."

* * *

"Hello?"

"Mr. Esposito, I'm sure you weren't expecting to hear from me again but I feel we can put your past mistakes behind us. I have a proposition to make with you if you're still interested in joining me." It wasn't a question. He didn't need to ask. "I hear your birthday is coming up soon…"

* * *

Three days turned into two, and they had little to show for it. They turned up rock after rock and found plenty of bugs hiding below several of New York's business's working for Warrek. However, even after being approached and offered immunity of the law, not one of them was willing to talk. They were either happy working for Warrek, or like Ryan, they were far too afraid. Esposito was certain that the ones that were afraid were their best bet but without at least one of them willing to take the first step, they would always be too afraid.

Stress levels were high, especially for Esposito. His deal was eating away at him. Would he really go through with wiping Danny's record clean? It would put his job at risk but even worse, it was wrong. But none of his struggles compared to what Ryan was going through. Each hour that passed was one step closer to Warrek. He was trying to hide it, but he was scared. He didn't want to go back. But if they didn't find something soon Esposito wasn't sure if he could keep him out of the devil's clutches.

Javier stared straight ahead as he mixed a couple coffees on Castle's latte machine. His mind raced a million different ways as he tried to search for a new plan. There was always that one plan, the one in the very back of his mind that he didn't dare acknowledge. He was trying to do this the right way but that way wasn't working. He could always go see Danny again and put a bullet through his head right then and there. That might solve some of his problems, and it would feel really good. But he wasn't really thinking that… was he?

Esposito hoped the coffee would clear the mud a little, it was late and all the thoughts were mixing and tangling with the lack of sleep. He grabbed the two little latte cups and walked back into the bullpen. The room was nearly empty except for a few night shift officers still ambling about. Beckett was busy at her desk, searching for anything helpful. She and Castle had been working just as hard as he was to save Ryan and bring Warrek in. It meant more than Javier could express, especially since he'd been holding back so much from them.

He sat one of the cups beside Kate and she smiled at him gratefully, pausing from her work to take a much needed sip of caffeine. "Thank you." She hummed as she wrapped her hands around it.

"No problem." He nodded towards her computer. "Find anything?"

She sighed. "His financials are cleaner than someone who's never broken a law in their life. He's good."

"Yeah well, he's been dodging the law for a while. And all that money doesn't hurt." Beckett stared at him. She looked as if she wanted to ask the question again, but thought better of it. She sipped her coffee again instead. Javier was starting to feel guilty, how long could he keep his past from her. He trusted her with his life, she was one of the few people he could honestly say that with, couldn't he trust her with his biggest secret?

Just when he thought of confessing his sins, Ryan's burst of laughter caught his attention. He and Castle were sitting at Javier's desk. Two broken eggs were smashed across the floor in a yellow mess at their feet. "It told you it wouldn't work." Kevin said crossing his arms.

"No it will work." Castle pulled out another egg and sat it on its top. "Trust me."

Esposito rolled his eyes. "What are they doing?"

Beckett grinned. "Something about the Autumnal Equinox and balancing an egg."

"But it's not even-"

Beckett held up a hand, cutting him off. "Don't bother, I argued with them about it already, it's no use. They got bored a little while ago and have been at it ever since."

Another splat made Javier shake his head and sigh. "I think it would be easier working with four year olds. Where did they even get the eggs?"

Kate grinned and shook her head. Kevin burst out laughing again as Castle tried to clean egg off his shoe. He scratched at the bandage on his forehead before pulling out another egg. Beckett watched him and the unasked question resurfaced itself. "He's a good guy Javi, I just can't stand to see him go back to that life again. I don't understand how someone like him ended up like that in the first place."

Esposito watched Kevin and Castle, before his eyes shifted back to Beckett. He trusted her. Javier could feel everything he'd been hiding for so long was struggling to claw its way out. Castle was right, it was time to tell before it all shattered. He sat his coffee cup down and shifted in his seat. "It was… it was my fault."

Kate met his gaze. "Javier, I'm sure it's not…" She faded off when she noticed his somber tone. She gave him her full attention and stayed quiet. He didn't need comfort, he just needed someone to listen.

He shifted again, taking his time before starting. "It was my eighteenth birthday." He began. "Before it all went bad, everything was normal…"

* * *

 **Yes, it's finally time. Next chapter we get to see what happened all those years ago. So stay tuned.**


	11. What Was

Chapter 11:

What Was

"Thanks bro, I love it." Javier had been prepared to lie, he'd expected a dorky gift from the geeky Irish kid, but he really did like it. He pulled off the shirt he was wearing and tugged on the new oe, it was black with a bright yellow Batman logo across the front. Okay, so it was a little dorky but Kevin knew Batman was Javier's favorite hero. "It fits perfect." He said with a grin.

Kevin was smiling from ear to ear. "I'm glad you like it. I was worried you might think it was geeky."

"Well, it is, but I still like it." Javier ran his hand down the front. "At least it's not a sweater vest."

"Happy Birthday Bro." Kevin bit into his burger. They had gone out for a late dinner after cake with his mother. It was a small party of only the three of them but it was different from the seventeen years before when it was just him and his mother. He had a friend now that didn't mind eating a bad cake that his mother would work so hard to make, and he would do it all with a genuine smile. Kevin enjoyed every minute of it.

Now they were sitting in a small diner, eating greasy cheeseburgers and stale fries, and trying to decide what they would do to make Javier's eighteenth birthday memorable. "We could go to the arcade, or maybe bowling." Kevin suggested.

Javi laughed through a mouthful of fries. "Woah there party man, don't go overboard. We don't want to get crazy." He checked his watch and played with the remains of his burger. He already had a plan in mind but a nervous knot in the pit of his stomach made him unable to tell Kevin the truth. "Don't worry about it bro. I already know what I want to do."

"Oh, okay." Kevin said with a warm smile. "Whatever you want. It's your birthday." The nervous knot grew but Javier swallowed it away.

He checked his watch again. "We should get going."

Kevin froze mid bite. "But we just got here. What's the hurry?"

Javier stood and pulled on his leather jacket. It was his mother's birthday gift to him, she must have been working extra hours for it. "Just trust me."

"Okay." He said without a second thought. Kevin threw down some money for the dinner and followed Javier out the door. "So where are we going?"

Javi gave a crooked smile. "It's a surprise. It'll be fun, I promise."

"Okay." Kevin repeated, sounding a little unsure this time. They walked side by side through the cold of late winter. Javier shoved his hands in his pockets, amazed by how warm the jacket made him feel, he would have to remember to thank his mother again. Kevin talked endlessly about everything from what they would do for his own birthday coming soon to Javier graduating shortly. "I know we've only been friends this past year but it's not going to be the same when you're not around bro." He said.

"You make it sound like I'm dying." Javier said with a chuckle.

"Well, I just mean we won't get to hang out till after I get out of school. Have you thought any more about those college classes I showed you? And did you fill out that scholarship application I gave you? You'll have enough money for both the classes and the academy if you get it." Kevin had been working extra hard to help him out.

Javier kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. It rolled across the cement and down into a gutter. "No, not yet."

Kevin scowled at him but softened quickly. "Well, you still have a few weeks. Just make sure you get it filled out soon."

"I don't think I'm going to college." He said quietly.

"What? But I thought-"

"It's just not for me." Javier interrupted. "We both know I would never actually make it through the police academy. Not with my past or my short temper. They wouldn't want anything to do with me."

Kevin stopped them. "That's not true Javi. You're very smart. You've been doing a lot better in school lately. Any police force would be lucky to have you." He thought quickly and smiled. "I know, when we get back we'll fill out all the paperwork together. I know how much you hate paperwork, it just seems like a lot." He nodded his head as if everything had been worked out and continued down the sidewalk. Javier rolled his eyes but followed anyway. Sometimes it was just best not to argue. But he knew the only reason he was doing better in school was because Kevin was helping him. He couldn't use him as a crutch forever. How long would the two of them be friends anyway? They were so different. It was only a matter of time.

Kevin continued his chattering as Javier led them down several blocks. The night crowds were starting to clear until the two boys were the only ones left. Javier spotted their destination after a short time. The tall, gleaming building looked spotless in the night's full moon. A few lights were on but the building was empty except for a janitor and a measly security staff. Javier knew this because he'd been told. "Javi, what are we doing here?" Kevin questioned as they headed straight for the building. "This looks like an office building." The young Irish froze when he read the name above the tall glass doors. "Warrek Financials." He read aloud. "This is Danny's father's company." He cried. "What-"

Javier grabbed Kevin by the arm and tugged him out of the street lights when one of the security guards passed by the front doors. "Shhh." He hissed. "Do you want us to get caught?"

"Maybe." He hissed back. "What are we doing here Javi?"

Javier took a deep breath. "Danny called me." Mixed expressions of surprise and anger passed over Kevin's face. "He… he offered me another chance."

"Javi." Kevin grumbled. "How could you even think-"

"It's just one job." Javier pleaded. "One job and I'm in… if I get it right. Danny never gives anyone a second chance." His pleading didn't do much good. Kevin glared at him. "Look Kev, l know you think I'm supposed to do something else with my life but that's just not true. This right here, is what I'm meant for."

Kevin crossed his arms. "I know you don't believe that."

"I do." Javier said firmly. "I'm not you Kev. You will go on to do good things but not me."

"That's a load of crap." He grumbled. "What does he want you to do this time?"

Javier grinned. "I just have to get inside his father's building and grab something, that's all."

Kevin looked the building over. "Sounds harmless but I'm sure there's a catch to it. There's always a catch."

"There's no catch, I swear." Javi shifted on his feet. He stared down at the cold sidewalk. "But I uh… I want to get this right but… I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up again."

Kevin finally relaxed. "Fine, than don't do it. We can go do something else. Bowling is still on the table if you're up for it."

"No!" Javier snapped. He scolded himself for raising his voice and pulled them down an alleyway for cover. "No, I want to do this. I was just hoping… that you would come with me."

"What?" Kevin squeaked. "I'm not a thief."

He laughed. "No you're not, you're a terrible thief actually." His smile vanished. "I just wanted you to be with me, I need you to keep me from screwing it up. I don't want to do anything stupid again." Kevin continued to glare holes through him. "Please bro. We'll be in and out, no problem." Javier clasped his hands together. "Please." He begged again. "Just consider it as a birthday present. You can even have the shirt back if you want."

Kevin sighed. "I don't want the shirt back. I bought that for you." He fidgeted nervously.

Javier could see him breaking. "Come on bro, it's my birthday."

"… fine." He finally said quietly. "But only because I want to keep you out of trouble. I'd have to live the rest of my life with a guilty conscience if you went to jail… or worse."

"Yes!" Javier cried. "You won't regret it, I promise. This is going to be so much more fun than bowling. Come on, it's this way." He led them around to the back of the building. A couple trash cans sat by a door that was locked tight with a key code. Javier opened the second trash can and pulled out a black backpack. "Danny already has everything set up for me." The bag was empty but in the front pocket was a slip of paper with two codes written on it. One was for the back door. "This is going to be so easy." He said with a smirk. Kevin didn't look quite as sure.

The code worked and soon they were inside of Thomas Warrek's building. Javier had learned that Danny's relationship with his father was a little rocky. The two didn't see eye to eye. But this job only affirmed how little the senior Warrek trusted his son. Javier and Kevin slipped easily by a security guard and into the stairwell. They took several flights of stairs up to the very top floor. The boys passed through a large room to a pair of double doors with Thomas Warrek's name in gold letters. The big office was tastefully done. A comfortable seating area for his guests. A small desk holding only the essentials. And a wall full of pictures of Thomas' family.

Thomas Warrek had built his business from almost nothing, he got where he was from hard work and dedication, with nothing handed to him. He didn't care to flaunt his wealth. He'd been able to give his son everything he never had growing up, and in doing so, Danny had grown to be a different person than his father. Looking over the office now, Javier began to feel a little guilty. He tried his best to push the feeling away. "I can't believe we're doing this." Kevin whispered even though there wasn't a single other soul in the office. "What are we here for anyway?"

Javier looked around the office. It was dark but the moonlight shined bright through the large windows. He circled the desk and found a small safe hidden away. "This is what we're here for." Javi said with a smirk. "Danny told me his father always likes to keep cash on hand for emergencies. It's an old habit from when he was younger."

"Money?" Kevin hissed, sounding distressed. "We're here to steal money?" He paced the floor. "Doesn't Danny have enough of his own money?"

"He's starting a business Kev, he needs more."

"Well can't he just ask his father for more?"

"He tried, but he refused to give him any. He said he had to work for it."

"Well, wouldn't that be a shame." Kevin scoffed. "This is wrong Javi. Thomas Warrek is a good man. His son, however, is not. Danny is a selfish bastard." Javier pulled out the slip of paper and tried to focus on the locked safe. It was a simple dial lock, and with the combination written right in front of him, it was no problem. "I mean, this is just downright idiotic Javi. I can't believe you're putting so much faith in this guy. Even his own father doesn't trust him… and I can see why. He's obviously a psychopath who has no interest in other human beings except for how he can use them to get what he wants. That's what he wants to do to you, he'll use you until you're not good to him anymore and then throw you out like yesterday's trash."

He stopped mid turn of the dial and turned on Kevin. "That's not true." Javier snapped. "If I can prove myself then-"

"Then Danny will know you're nothing but a pathetic suck-up that he can lead around like a dog." Kevin had never talked to him like this. He wasn't one to let anger lead his words.

Javier shoved him hard in the chest. He stumbled backwards but kept his ground. "You take that back! I'm nobody's dog."

"You're Danny's dog!" Kevin shouted, his face red with anger. "All he has to do is snap his fingers and you would come running like a little puppy. Just make sure you don't pee on the carpet, you wouldn't want to make him angry."

Javier lashed out. He threw a punch, hitting Kevin hard across the nose. "Shut up!" He yelled, "I know what I'm doing. I can think for myself."

Kevin glared at him, holding his nose. He pulled his hand away, a little bit of blood trickled down his lip. Javier hadn't hit him as hard as he could have. "That's right. You can think for yourself." He said, suddenly calm. He didn't even try to strike back. "All I'm asking is that you really think for once. I want you to make something of your life. Danny wants to make you his lap dog." He wanted to hit Kevin, to make him stop, but he couldn't. "I'm your friend Javi, not him. Just listen to me."

Kevin's big blue, pleading eyes were starting to wear on him. He had to look away and focus back on the safe. "I shouldn't have brought you with me." He grumbled as he worked on the lock again. The numbers shook in his hand. He'd been so calm but Kevin had gotten him all worked up. And what was worse? Now this all felt wrong. What if he really was making the wrong decision? "I mean, what do you want from me? To give up everything I've worked so hard for."

"Yes." Kevin answered simply. "Give it up and work for something better. You can do better Javi."

Shaky hands turned the dial to one last number and he heard the click of the safe unlocking. Javier pulled the handle and opened the door to several thousand in cash. Danny wanted it all. He had been promised so much if he just handed over the money, he couldn't walk away now. He began to fill the backpack with the cash. "You don't know me at all Kev." He said as he worked.

Kevin watched with sad eyes. "No, I guess I don't." They didn't say another word to each other until the bag was full and they were descending the stairs again. Everything was going so smoothly, even with their outburst, none of the security seemed any the wiser. So why was Javier's stomach twisting into knots? He hadn't been afraid when this night started, why was he afraid now? It just didn't feel right anymore.

The boys slipped back outside and onto the street without a single problem. He'd just walked out of a secured building with thousands of dollars, he should be celebrating, but the bag only felt heavy on his shoulders. "Danny is meeting me a few blocks down. He wanted me to hand over the money directly so he can congratulate me."

Kevin nodded. He played with the sleeve of his jacket, there was a red smudge across it where he'd wiped his nose. "I'm going home. I can't do this anymore Javi. If your so determined to destroy your life… I can't."

Javier kicked at the ground. "I understand. Thanks for coming with me."

He nodded again. "Yeah, so I'll see you at school?"

"Maybe."

"Oh… okay. I'll see you around then."

"Yeah… see you."

"… Happy Birthday Javi."

"… thanks."

The walk to the meeting spot was quiet. He was alone again. But it was Kevin's fault, he reasoned, all Kevin had to do was see things his way. Hell, Danny even wanted Kevin on his team. They could have worked together and lived the good life. But no. He had to be a snob and turn his nose up at it all. It was his loss… so why did Javier feel so crumby?

The alley he'd been told to meet at was dark. All the street lights had been broken and only the moonlight lit it up. The pavement was wet and dirty, and the whole place smelled like trash. It was quiet and secluded, away from prying eyes. The whole place made Javier nervous. He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to get warm, but he couldn't this time. He hoped Danny showed up soon so he could get this over with.

The minutes ticked by and Javier's stomach twisted tighter and tighter until he was certain he was going to throw up. At least it wouldn't add much to the rank smell if he did. He started to pace, gripping the bag's straps tighter until his hands sweat. Where the hell was Danny?

The sound of footsteps bounced off the brick walls and Javier nearly jumped for joy, until he realized that it wasn't who he was expecting. A young man not much older than him approached with a smirk. "You Javier?" He questioned as he got closer.

He backed up a few steps. "Who wants to know?" He tried his best to sound tough but failed miserably.

The guy laughed. "I want to know. Is that the money?"  
Javier gripped the bag tighter. "I thought Danny was coming."

"He'll be here any minute now." He moved closer and Javier caught sight of a knife on the guy's belt. "Now hand it over, I got a schedule to keep."

He moved further back. "I think I'll wait till Danny gets here." He said nervously.

The man smirked and pulled the knife out. "He said you might make this difficult. Look kid, I'm going to level with you." He flipped the knife expertly. "I've got other things to get done tonight."

"Easy Marcus." A familiar voice said calmly. "Mr. Esposito is probably confused." Danny stepped out of the shadows along with two other men.

Javier was beginning to feel cornered but he forced a smile. "Danny, it's good to see you." He pulled the bag off his shoulder. "I got the money… every last dime, just like you asked."

Danny snapped his fingers and one of the men moved forward to grab the bag away. He zipped it open and nodded. Danny smiled. "Good job. You've done everything exactly as I asked."

Javier smiled genuinely this time. "Thank you, thank you so much." He said finally feeling at ease. "I have to be honest, I'm really excited to get the chance to work with you and-"

"Yeah that's not going to happen." Danny interrupted.

Javi froze and the good feeling vanished. "What? But you promised."

"I did do that." He said with a nod. "But you're a huge disappoint Javier. I couldn't possibly trust you."

"B-but Danny."

"Don't call me Danny." He hissed. "You can call me sir."

He waited for acknowledgment. "Y-yes sir."

"Javier I think you missed exactly what the job was that I needed you to do tonight." He grinned mischievously. "When my father realizes his money has been stolen the first person he's going to suspect is me, we don't exactly get along you know. Didn't you stop to think Javier? I sent you in there to steal the money and take the fall for it. There were cameras all over that office. With actual proof that it was just some street rat stealing my dear father's money, I can't possibly be blamed." Javier shifted on nervous feet. Everything was falling apart. Danny's tone darkened. "And don't you think it would be wise of me to keep that little rat from squealing. When they find your body in the morning, killed in a terrible mugging gone wrong, justice will be served and I'll be free to continue with my deeds. That is the job I hired you to do tonight Javier… and you did it perfectly."

His heart beat loud in his ears and fear gripped him tight. They were going to kill him. After everything he'd tried to do for Danny, he was still nothing but a tool to him. Kevin was right. Kevin had always been right.

Javier stepped back and bumped into the fence splitting the alley into two halves. The chain links rattled like a cage, trapping him in. The four men blocked the only exit but that didn't stop him from trying. Javier didn't hesitate, he took off in a full run, aiming for the gap between Danny and the smallest of his three friends.

Javi was smaller and faster than them all and he almost made it, but large hands grabbed his new jacket and tugged him down. He hit the ground with a crash, the back of his head connecting with the cold concrete.

The world spun but he didn't have much time to recover before he was yanked back to his feet. His arms were held tight behind his back and a hand gripped the back of his neck to hold him still. Danny grinned with delight above him. He shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Oh Javier, I was hoping you could do this with a little dignity but I suppose we'll just have to do it this way." He held out his hand and the knife was placed in his palm.

"You're a filthy bastard Danny." Javier spat. The anger did little to cover his fear. "You're a lying piece of shit."

Warrek smiled and flashed the knife in front of Javier's face. "There's no need for harsh words. This is just business. It's nothing personal."

Javi scowled and pulled against the hands that held him. "You don't scare me." His voice shook, giving him away.

The men all laughed and Javier's face turned red. "You're very confident Javier, I always liked that about you." Danny pressed the tip of the blade into the soft part of his neck. "But you see, I am meant to do great things. You, on the other hand… taking the fall for me is the best you could possibly hope to accomplish in this life." He pulled the knife lightly across his skin, towards the edge of his throat. "You're worthless Javier, I think I'm doing the world a favor."

Javier's heart beat rapidly. He clenched his eyes shut, he couldn't watch. He was afraid, he'd never been so afraid. He didn't want to die. If only he'd listened to Kevin. If only he hadn't been so stubborn. If only he could keep on living, he'd give anything….

There was a loud shout, like a war cry, that made Javier's eyes snap open. A blur passed and Danny was suddenly shoved to the side. Everyone froze in stunned silence while Kevin and Danny crashed to the dirty pavement. Where the hell did he come from?

Javier used the moment of shock to his advantage. He shoved his elbow back into the gut of the man that held him. He doubled over and Javier broke away. Kevin let out an odd strangled gasp before Javier pulled him off of Danny. The other men dropped to the ground to make sure their leader was okay as the two boys made a break for it. "Stop them!" Danny yelled just as they ran out of the alleyway and onto the street.

The terrifying pop of a gun rang out behind them but missed by several feet. Javier kept a tight grip on Kevin's wrist as they ran. He wanted to make sure he was keeping up, Kevin was moving a little slower than he should be, but it also felt good to know he was there. Javier wasn't alone. "You're insane." Javier cried excitedly as they took a corner and ran down the sidewalk. "You saved my life. I thought you left."

"Followed you." Kevin panted. "It didn't feel right. Looks like… I was right… after all." Kevin slowed even more but Javier dragged him along. The gun fire had stopped but he was too afraid to see if they were still being followed. "Javi." Kevin finally stopped all together. "Javi I can't… I have to stop."

He sighed and pulled him down another ally and out of sight. "Okay, we'll rest but only for a minute." Kevin leaned against the wall, holding his side. Javier kept watch. "I told you, you need to exercise more. You wear out too easily." Kevin chuckled and it felt like for the moment that things had never changed. His friend was still by his side, even after everything he had done. Things were going to be okay.

But things were not the same. Kevin's face had turned pale during their run. He looked sick. "Wow, I didn't think you were that out of shape." Javier looked him over. "Are you okay?"

Kevin shook his head slowly. He pulled his hand off his side and Javier's eyes went wide. Kevin's jacket was quickly growing a deep crimson red. The blood ran from his side and soaked his clothes. "Shit!" Javier yelled.

"I… I think I caught Danny's knife." Kevin said before his knees suddenly buckled.

Javier caught him and lowered him to the cold pavement. Kevin zipped down his jacket and peeled back his wet t-shirt. The wound was deep and wide, leaking an endless supply of blood. "Shit." Javi repeated. He didn't know what to do. He'd seen stuff like this on TV but he'd never had to deal with it in real life. He pulled off his jacket. "I uh… it's bleeding too much." He pressed the jacket over the wound making Kevin cry out. The gargled cry made his stomach twist. The leather jacket was useless, it didn't soak up any blood or slow the bleeding. He tossed it to the side and pressed Kevin's own jacket over the wound instead.

The Irish boy was growing paler by the minute. "Javi…" He whined. "What do I do?"

There was so much blood. It was on his hands, his arms, covering his new shirt. Its coppery smell filled his nose, making him gag. It sent panic through him. There was too much. He pressed his hands into the wound making the poor boy cry out. "I-I'm sorry." He stuttered.

Sharp eyes met his. "I'm scared." Kevin said weakly. "It… hurts. It really hurts." He had just looked so strong moments ago, rushing in to save Javi's life, but now… he looked small and helpless.

He opened his mouth to offer comfort but loud voices filled the alleyway and Javier froze. They'd found him. They were coming for him. He didn't do what he was supposed to. He was supposed to just roll over and die like a good little lap dog. But he couldn't even do that right.

His hands shook in fear and his gaze drifted to Kevin's pale face. He had a kind face, a sympathetic face, they would take pity on him. Danny liked Kevin. He wouldn't hurt him, would he? He might even save him. But they wouldn't spare Javier, he'd be dead in minutes. They'd already come so close, the eerie cold feeling of the blade still by his neck reminded him of how close they'd come. He was a dead man if he stayed.

The voices came closer, making him panic. Desperation took over and his hands pulled away as his mind raced. "They'll like you." He said quietly as he stood. "Just be yourself and I'm sure they'll let you go."

Kind eyes looked at him, shrouded in terror. "What?" He squeaked.

He backed away, his feet itching to run. "I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Kevin."

"Javier?" He squeaked. "Please Javi, don't leave me. Please!" He reached out and grabbed desperately at his arm. Weak fingers gripped his sleeve, urging him to stay, to be strong. But voices formed into shadows on the dark alley walls and he couldn't do it, the fear was too much. The need to escape overpowered him, he shook Kevin away and he ran. The voice of his friend followed him, tearing at his soul. "Javier! Please Javi, I'm scared…. Javi!"

Tears burned his eyes but he forced them away. Javier ran in no particular direction. He ran until his lungs burned and his legs ached. He ran until he was sure no one was following and then he ran some more. He never looked back.

It was almost sunrise by the time he thought it safe enough to go home. It was quiet. He snuck through the small apartment so he wouldn't wake his mother. He would have to come up with an explanation for what happened to the coat she'd worked so hard to buy for him. He would have to lie, he would lie about everything. Javier shut himself in the bathroom and shed his bloody clothes. He turned on the shower and climbed in before the water even had a chance to warm. He scrubbed every inch of his skin, not stopping until the blood was gone and his skin was sore. There was so much blood, how could anyone survive that? He shoved the stained clothes into a bag and hid them under his bed.

Javier stood in the middle of his room. The quiet surrounded him, suffocated him, and reminded him of what he'd done. His body shook as he sunk to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest, fear still had a tight hold over him. He could still smell the blood on his skin, Kevin's blood.

He was a coward. Kevin had tried to show him a better life, and he ran away. Kevin came back for him, and he ran away. Kevin saved his life, and he ran away. He abandoned Kevin the one time he needed him most. He dropped his head and let the tears come. Kevin was gone, and it was all his fault.

* * *

 **Okay, so I really, really struggled with this chapter. It was tough because it was so important. So I hope it turned out okay. And I hope you all liked it. More to come soon. We'll see what happens after Esposito's big confession.**


	12. The Cost of Betrayal

**Thank you for the feedback on the previous chapter. I was worried but you all have eased my concerns so thank you. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up but I had a little computer mishap and lost most of the chapter after I had just finished it. Oh no! But after a good amount of rewriting I think it still turned out well so please enjoy.**

Chapter 12

The Cost of Betrayal

The precinct was eerily quiet. Esposito wished there was some sort of noise to break the silence but not even the tap of a keyboard was there to save him. Beckett stared ahead of her, deep in thought. She hadn't spoken since he started his story, aThe Cost of Betrayalent after. He played with the empty coffee cup in his hand. "I uh… I kept running even after that night." He continued just so he could break the obnoxious quiet. "I couldn't face what I did. I graduated from high school early and went right into the army. I never knew what happened to Kevin and part of me never wanted to know. I was selfish, and maybe I still am. I never tried to find him even after I joined the NYPD. I had all the resources to look but I just…. I couldn't." He was done. There was nothing else to say. It wasn't as if he could make up for what he did with a simple run of words.

Beckett tapped her finger against the desk. Why wasn't she saying anything? Was she that disappointed in him? He swallowed a lump in his throat. "So-" His voice squeaked and he cringed. He cleared his throat and tried again. "So…" He really should come up with something better to say. "Do you have anything to say to me?"

She leaned forward and intertwined her fingers. "What do you want me to say?"

Esposito shrugged. "Tell me the truth. Tell me how disappointed you are in me. Tell me I'm a despicable human being and the worst friend in the entirety of existence." He slammed the dainty coffee cup down on the desk. "Tell me that I'm a damn coward that only got what I have because I sold out the one person who ever gave a crap about me and my life." Javier ran a hand over his hair in frustration. "I screwed up and… I lost a good friend in the process."

Kate smiled and leaned her chin against her hands. She watched Ryan and Castle. They had moved from balancing eggs to building houses of cards. Castle had one almost four stories high when Ryan would jostle the desk and they would all come crashing down. "He doesn't look lost to me Javier."

Esposito followed her gaze. "He's too forgiving. He should hate me." He turned back to her. "You should hate me too. You know what I did now. Who wants a coward as a detective?"

"I don't hate you Javier. And I don't think you're a coward."

"Well why not?" He snapped. "It's not right. You should be angry! Someone should be angry!"

"You're the only one who's angry." Kate snapped in return. She leaned back and sighed. "You're angry enough with yourself, there's no need for anyone else to be."

Esposito scowled at her. He wanted her to yell, to criticize, to scold him. He was ready for some kind of punishment. After all these years, he deserved it. But Kate knew him too well, she must have known that was what he was looking for, and she wouldn't give it. "What I did was wrong."

She nodded. "Yes, it was. And you have a lot to make up for." Yes, that was what he wanted to hear. Maybe she would berate him after all. "But, I didn't know you then Javier." She continued. "I know you now. I know what kind of man you are. You're a good person and I know that you'll make things right because you're not that stupid kid anymore."

His face softened and he sighed. "You're as bad as Kevin."

Beckett laughed. "Yes, well, it sounds to me like I should consider that a compliment."

He couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I guess it is."

She laid a hand on his arm. "You're lucky to have had him as a friend back then. And you'd better show him that he's lucky to have you as a friend now… because he needs you." She jabbed a finger into his chest. "So don't mess it up Javier or I will be mad at you." Kate stood suddenly, startling him. "I think we should call it a night, don't you?"

"But we're down to only one day and we're not any closer to Warrek or-"

"Javi." Kate interrupted. "I think we should call it a night." He started to argue but she hit him with one of her trademark glares and shut him down immediately. "Get some sleep. We'll tackle it in the morning."

She headed for the elevator and Castle took immediate notice. He hopped up and followed her like an eager puppy. "Hey! Are we leaving? Fantastic, I'm starving. How about we get a bite to eat, I'm thinking a nice big pizza."

Beckett smirked. "I'm going home Castle, and going to bed."

He grinned as they boarded the elevator. "That sounds even better."

The doors shut and the precinct fell silent again. Ryan stood and wobbled a little on his feet. He stretched and winced. "You should have gone back to Castles' and gotten some more rest." Javier scolded with a shake of his head. Kevin wasn't allowing himself the time to heal that he needed.

"I think I got plenty of rest thanks to you." He grumbled. "Besides, I'm fine." He yawned and rubbed his darkening eyes.

"You look like shit."

"Thanks for that." Ryan leaned against Beckett's desk. "So, you finally told someone."

Javier froze. "What?"

Kevin laughed. "I'm not stupid Javi. Castle and I weren't making card houses because we were bored. I wanted to give you some space. So did you tell her?"

He leaned forward in his chair and bounced his leg nervously. "Yes. I told her. Is that okay?"

"Hey, it's your story to tell." Ryan grinned and it put him at ease. "Yes it was okay. So was it as hard as you thought it would be?"

"No… it was worse."

"But you survived."

Esposito laughed. "Yes, I did but just barely."

Kevin smirked. "Wow, when did you become such a baby?"

"Haha…" He pushed himself up and sighed. "Come on. Beckett's right, we need some sleep. Let's go home."

Kevin stayed put and picked a case file off the desk. It held all the information on the people they'd dug up from Warrek's business. Ryan flipped through the names and frowned. "There's so many."

Javier pulled on his jacket. "Danny is good at getting to people. He always has been."

"Yeah, I guess he is." He continued flipping through pages.

Esposito watched him read over the list of names carefully. "Everything okay?"

Ryan snapped the file shut. "I've changed my mind Javi. I want to do it. If you can confess despite the fear and survive then so can I. I'll testify against Warrek."

"Kev, I don't want to make you-"

"You told me to think for myself so that's what I'm doing." Kevin said firmly. "You're not making me. I want to."

"Are you sure?"

Ryan bit his lip and looked back down at the folder in his hands. He nodded and shoved the file into Javier's chest. "Positive. Let's do it… right now."

Javier laughed. "That's fantastic, really it is, but take it easy." As happy as he was that Ryan was taking this step and finally giving him what he needed to put Warrek away, he could see that Kevin was exhausted. And honestly, so was he. "It's almost one in the morning. First we go home and get some rest then we can come back tomorrow when there's actually somebody here."

"But-"

"And maybe a pizza too, Castle made me hungry." He helped Kevin pull on his new jacket and steered him towards the elevator. "So did you ever get that egg balanced?" He asked as they rode the floors down. "Or was that just a ruse to give me time to talk to Beckett too?"

Ryan laughed. "No, Castle said he could do it but we ran out of eggs. We went through a whole dozen, I don't think the cleaning guy was too happy with us."

"Right, well you shouldn't take everything Castle says as gospel. He likes to make shit up, that's kind of his job." Ryan tilted his head in confusion. Javier smiled. "Don't worry, you'll learn in time."

"Planning on keeping me around for a while?"

Javier laughed. "If I can help it yes. If everything goes as planned, this will be all over tomorrow, and you'll be a free man."

* * *

It hurt. It was like someone had dropped a white hot piece of iron into his side and wouldn't take it out. The blood wouldn't stop. Javier had tried to help but he was gone now, and the blood wouldn't stop. His strength was going with it. Several figures came closer but he couldn't get up and run, he could barely even move. All he could do was focus on not passing out. "Well, well, what have we here?" It was hard to keep his breathing under control when he heard Danny's voice. He knelt beside Kevin and a wicked grin passed over his face. "I had a feeling this blood belonged to you." He flashed his bloody knife in front of Kevin's face. "Looks like I got you pretty good." His eyes scanned the alley way. "And where's your dear friend Javier? Is he gone? How unfortunate. Would you mind telling me which way he went? I still have unfinished business with him."

"Go… to hell." Kevin spat through clenched teeth.

Danny chuckled and motioned for two of his men to look for Javier anyway. "You are very loyal aren't you? Even after he left you here like a piece of trash." Danny peeled back his bloody shirt and looked the wound over. "That's one nasty cut you've got there Kevin. I bet it hurts like a bitch. Would you like me to put you out of your misery?" He touched the knife to his temple as he thought. "But what a waste that would be. You're a rare breed Kevin, loyal to a fault, something your friend lacked apparently. I could use that."

Danny stood and said something to his man still remaining. The large brute bent down and scooped Kevin up in his arms like he weighed nothing. He cried out when the movement sent the hot iron pain deeper into his gut. He couldn't hold on any longer. The last thing he saw before passing out was Danny's grinning face.

* * *

"Are you sure about this Javi?" Ryan questioned as he pulled at the collar of his shirt. It was early morning and the two of them were standing in the middle of Javier's bedroom.

Esposito batted his hand away from pulling at the crisp white button up shirt. "Yes I'm sure. Now stop fidgeting or you're going to wrinkle everything." He'd found a blue, three piece suit in the back of his closet that was just a little too small for him but fortunately fit Ryan perfectly. He moved to the bed and tried to match which tie went better while Kevin pulled on the vest. "I already called Beckett, she and the Captain are working on getting all the paperwork together quickly so we can get the ball rolling. But I want to make sure you look good for the judge. They'll take you more seriously that way."

"I guess that makes sense." He fussed with the cuff of his sleeve. He had to keep the right side unbuttoned to fit over his cast. "But why do I have to wear a suit. You never wear suits."

"I wear suits." Javier scoffed.

"When?"

"Sometimes… I'm wearing one now. I want to look good for the judge too."

"You're wearing jeans."

He pulled at his jacket. "This is a suit jacket. And I'm wearing a tie so shut it." He held up the two ties he'd narrowed down for Ryan. "Which one?"

"Red."

Javier tossed it at him and put the others away. "Just make sure you're on your best behavior today. Gates is going through extra lengths to make sure we've got things straight but she's on our side now. Beckett will take your statement and then we'll go see the judge. So watch your mouth today, and…" he faded off when he noticed Kevin struggling with his tie. Shaky fingers pulled the fabric into a messy knot. Ryan cursed under his breath. "What are you doing? I know you can tie a tie. You used to wear ties to school… as if the sweater vest weren't bad enough."

"Yeah, well it's been a while." He grumbled. "I haven't even owned a tie in years. No need to dress to impress in my line of work." He tried again and managed another tight knot.

Esposito finally took pity on him. He grabbed the tie and looped it around his neck. Ryan tried hard not to fidget while he worked but he was a visible bundle of nerves. "Are you nervous?"

"Nervous? Why would I be nervous?" He sneered. "All I'm doing today is standing up against one of the most powerful men in New York City. A man worth millions. A man that could make my life more of a living hell than he already has. He could kill me you know, without even batting an eyelash of concern."

"Okay I get it."

Javier finished the tie and Ryan pulled it tight. He buttoned his jacket and grinned. "So how do I look?"

Esposito smiled. "The suit works for you, you look good bro." Ryan smiled wide and straightened the clothes to perfection. Actually, he looked like the Kevin Ryan he remembered. He looked like the scrawny Irish kid who dared befriend an angry Hispanic teen and became the one he trusted more than anyone in the world. He was the one that had saved his life and nearly lost his own in the process. Javier sat on the bed and leaned forward. "Hey Kev, before we do this today, can you do me a favor?"

Kevin plopped down next to him, wrinkling his pants. "Sure, name it."

He paused, almost backing out of asking but he had to know. "What happened?"

"What happened when?"

Javier stood and kept his back to Kevin. "I want to know what happened after I left, in… in the alley."

Ryan went silent. When he spoke again his voice was small. "Danny found me and I started working for him. What else is there to know?"

Esposito spun and grabbed Kevin by the shoulders. "Stop that. Don't try to protect me. I need to know."

Ryan sighed and waited to be let go. Once Javier relaxed he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "After you ran away, Danny found me. I passed out from the pain but when I woke up I quickly realized any pain I felt before was nothing compared to the agony I felt then." Javier cringed. He sunk back to the bed and listened closely to Ryan's words.

"I woke on a cold metal table in a dull grey room, most of my clothes had been taken and I had blood all over my chest and stomach. The smell of my own blood made me sick. There was a man standing above me, he had this needle in his hand. He was… sewing me up. He kept pressing on my stomach and pushing the needle into my skin. It hurt so bad, I would have done anything to make it stop."

Kevin stood and left the room. Esposito followed him to the living room and watched him pace. His whole body seemed to slouch under an invisible weight. "I tried to get away. I struggled but it just made more men appear. They held me to the table and the doctor, if he even was one, went back to work. My whole body hurt, I cried for them to stop but they wouldn't listen. And then Danny finally showed his face. He… He said he could make the pain go away. He asked me if I wanted it to stop. At first, I told him no. I told him I didn't want his help. But then," Ryan stared at him with pleading eyes. "It just hurt so much Javi, I couldn't take it. I was practically begging him to make it stop. So he did. He brought me something and shot it into my arm like it was nothing. But just like he promised, the pain went away and I felt so good."

Javier nodded. "Your first taste."

"The first of many. Thankfully, at the very least, I passed out after that."

"I had no idea you started so early."

Ryan played with his tie. "I tried to resist taking anymore but once you start, it's hard to stop."

Esposito nodded. "And what happened next?"

Kevin sighed. "I was out for quite a while. The next time I woke up my wound was patched up and I was laying on this dirty mattress in some room, if you can even call it that, it was more like a closet. There were no windows, the door was locked tight, and I was left completely alone. It would be my home for the next several months."

"Months?" Javier squeaked.

Ryan nodded. "Danny left me there to heal. But he wanted to teach me a lesson. He only gave me enough food and water to keep me alive. I spent most of my days dreaming of the food my mother used to cook me. It's amazing the things we take for granted when we have plenty of it." He paused, a small, sad smile played at his lips. It quickly vanished as he continued. "The only thing he did provide me enough of was drugs. Those he was more than happy to keep me supplied with. Somehow, on a healthy diet of air and drugs, I managed to heal enough to move around and Danny let me leave my room. I was able to earn myself more food and slowly grew stronger. But I was kept me on a very short leash. Danny didn't want me going back to my old life."

"Old life?"

Kevin hesitated. "My family." He said sadly. "He didn't want me to see them until he was sure I would come back."

"How long before you got to see them again?"

"Two years." Javier's breath caught in his throat. "They thought I was dead. And when I did go back, it was as a drug addict and a thief. I was nothing but a disappointment. They wanted to help me but I didn't want to cause them trouble so I kept my distance."

Javier's mouth hung open. Ryan's family had never even crossed his mind. "Kev I-"

"Anyway." He interrupted quickly. "After a while Danny let me go on jobs under close supervision. I picked up the tricks of the trade fast, unfortunately I picked up some bad habits too. I got into plenty of trouble. But after the first time I got arrested Danny finally decided I could work on my own." Ryan shrugged. "By that time, I was in too deep to go back to any part of my life before, just like Danny wanted. Everything else is history."

"But what about school? Did you finish your last year?" Kevin stared at his shifting feet and shook his head. "You didn't graduate? How could you-"

"I'm not stupid!" Ryan interrupted, shoving a finger into his chest. "I would have finished if I could but… I'm not stupid."

Javier put his hands up in surrender. "Calm down bro, I don't think you're stupid. I would never think that. I just wanted to know why you wouldn't tell me?"

Kevin lowered his hand. "Well because, it's not really something I like to share with anyone."

Esposito dropped onto the couch and ran a hand down his face. "So you didn't finish school, you didn't see your family for years, and you're entire life went to shit… all because of me. How is it that after all that, you could forgive me so easily?"

"Easily?" Ryan scoffed and gave a loud laugh. "You think…" He paced to the kitchen and back. "I forgave you but it wasn't easy." He spat. Esposito stared at him. "I hated you Javier."

The idea took him by surprise. "You… you did?"

Kevin laughed. "I'm not a damn saint Javier, of course I hated you. You left me, I should have died." Esposito was having trouble looking Ryan in the eye. This whole time he'd been saying that he wanted Kevin to be mad at him, he wanted that punishment. But to actually hear it from Kevin's own mouth was harder than he expected. "When I was sitting in that closet, on that ridiculously dirty mattress, with a damn hole in my side, all I could think about was how much you had let me down. I was so disappointed in you for running, and disappointment turned to hate. I wanted it to be you sitting there, high on drugs and surviving off scraps of bread and dirty water. I wanted you to hurt instead of me. But you weren't there. You got away and I suffered."

Javier flinched at his words. Ryan was letting out all the anger that he deserved. It hurt more than he expected. "But I don't understand. You've been so easy on me. You said you don't blame me."

Kevin sat beside him, his anger easing. "I don't… not anymore. I forgave you but it didn't happen right away. Forgiveness came over time. I learned to let things go. After a while I wasn't mad at you, I wasn't mad at Danny, I wasn't mad at all. I just sort of accepted my life for what it was."

Esposito's gaze finally snapped up. "That doesn't sound like forgiveness Kev." He said. "That sounds like you gave up."

Ryan shrugged. "So, what's the difference?"

He pushed himself off the couch. "I'd rather you were mad at me than to think you just gave up on me."

"I didn't give up on you… I gave up on myself." Esposito started to argue but Ryan jumped off the couch and interrupted him. "Well, why don't we shove all this confession crap away for later, or else I might not have anything left for the judge."

Javier shook his head. "I'm not sure it works like that but you're right, Beckett won't be happy if we keep her waiting. And nobody wants Beckett to be unhappy."

Ryan smiled. "No, no one wants that."

Once they were in the car Esposito punched the gas and took off down the street. Javier fell silent as he tried to process everything Kevin had told him. It was all more than he expected. He knew he'd ruined Kevin's life, not knowing the details might have been better, but he needed to know. And he took responsibility for it all. "I know I let you down Kev but I swear I'm going to make it up to you."

Kevin smirked. "Oh yeah, how are you going to do that?"

"Well, I don't know but for starters, we're going to put Danny away for good."

"And after that?"

He didn't have to think about it. He knew what he had to do. "We'll set your life back on track, I swear it. I got your back bro."

"I know you do."

"I'm not running away again, not ever."

Ryan's smile vanished. "Yeah, I know you won't." He watched out the front window as the city passed. A thought passed over his face. "But what if this plan to put Danny down doesn't work?"

Javier gripped the steering wheel. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't it work? You're not having second thoughts are you?"

He laughed. "No, no of course not. I'm just wondering, if it doesn't work, if Danny fights back like he always does, if he doesn't go down so easy, then what? What's it going to take to put an end to this? What's it going to take for you to let go of… all this?"

Esposito thought quickly. "Well if I can't have Danny behind bars than his head on a stick wouldn't hurt." He laughed and punched Kevin in the shoulder. "Relax bro, everything is going to be just fine. We got this."

Ryan rubbed his shoulder. "Yeah, we'll see."

Javier put the thought behind them and ran Kevin through the plan for the day one last time. "And just remember it's okay to be nervous." He said as the car pulled to a stop at a light. "They'll probably expect it."

Kevin rung his hands. "Well that's good. You know this would be a lot easier if I had a little something to help calm my nerves. I mean, I haven't had anything in quite a few days and-"

"Really Kev." Javier snapped. "You want me to give you some drugs before you go in front of a judge."

"Not a lot, just a little to help my nerves. It doesn't even have to be anything illegal."

"You have got to be kidding me. One moment I think you're thinking like a normal person and then you say something like that."

"Sorry Javi, it was just a passing thought." He smirked. "But it's passed now."

Esposito laughed and shook his head. "God Kev, pull it together, you still want to do this right?" The light turned green and Javier pulled forward. Ryan looked unsure but he never got a chance to answer. They were interrupted by a truck barreling through the intersection and slamming into the back side of the car. The car jerked and so did Esposito, his head slammed hard into the window as they spun like a top on the pavement.

The world went fuzzy and a deafening ring attacked his brain. Behind the noise he heard tires squeal as the truck backed away, followed by doors popping open. Even through the fog he knew exactly what they were here for. "Kevin!" He shouted, making his head spin faster. "You still breathing?"

To his relief Ryan coughed. "Yeah, for now. What happened?"

Javier tried to move forward but it sent a shock nausea over him. He was on the brink of passing out. "Warrek must have found out." He reasoned. His unsteady gaze moved out his window where several men were climbing out of the truck. They were here for Ryan. They approached the car with caution. "Can you move?"

Kevin let out a small groan and shifted in his seat. "Yeah, I think so. Shit, Javi, you're bleeding!"

He pulled his gun out and winced at the movement. The warm trickle of blood on his temple tried it's best to lull him to sleep but he fought it away. "Don't worry about it. You need to go, get to a phone, call Beckett, she'll know what to do. I should be able to hold them off long enough for you to get away."

"What about you?"

Javier sucked in a sharp breath, trying to stay conscious. "Can't go, I'm going to pass out soon."

Ryan pulled off his seatbelt. "Damn it!" He shouted. "I knew it! I knew Danny would do something like this."

His voice sounded far away, echoing like a tunnel. Spots entered his vision, he tried to blink them away but they persisted. "Ryan! That's enough. You have to go now. That's an order." The men were getting closer, if Kevin didn't move now he wouldn't get away. He had to run. Javier pulled his gaze from the window "Kev, you have to…"

He stopped short when he noticed a look of determination pass over Ryan's face. Blue eyes steeled and he made a decision. "Sorry Javi but you can't order me around." He said with a smirk. "Now cover your ears." He grabbed the gun from Esposito's hand and fired several shots out the window. The men took cover and Ryan's smile widened to a wild smirk.

"What the hell are you doing?" Esposito roared. His vision was fading fast. He couldn't pass out now, not when Kevin was acting like an idiot.

"I knew Danny wouldn't let things go according to plan. He's probably expecting me to roll over like a frightened dog… but not this time. I've got something to fight for now." Kevin dug through Esposito's pockets and pulled out his phone. He punched in a number and laid it on the dashboard. "You can relax, I'll take care of everything. If it's going to take putting Danny in a body bag to get you out of all this than I'll just have to make sure it happens." He tucked the gun in the back of his pants and hid it under his jacket.

Ryan kicked his door open and jumped out of the car. Esposito reached through and grabbed his arm, the move threatened to put him out for good. "Don't do anything stupid Ryan."

"Why not? It's what you would do. Isn't it?" He slipped from his grip and disappeared from sight. Esposito's head wound finally won its battle and pushed him into unconsciousness with the knowledge that Kevin was walking into the hornets' nest alone.


	13. When Fear Grips You Tight

Chapter 13:

When Fear Grips You Tight

"Espo…" His fingers twitched lightly as the faint buzz of police sirens filled his aching brain. "Javier answer me!" Warm hands touched his cheek. Esposito pulled his eyes open with extra effort. He stared blankly at the dash of his car. "Javi thank God." Beckett's voice said in relief. He turned his head to meet her soft gaze. Kate leaned further inside the car, not taking her hand off his face, as she checked him over. "It doesn't look like you have any more injuries." She concluded.

"Beckett?" He questioned quietly. His muddled brain was having trouble processing what was happening. He reached to the passenger side, knowing that was where he would find his answers. His hand passed over an empty seat, catching only air. Ryan was gone. All at once his sore brain kicked into gear. "Kevin!" He cried, whipping his head towards the vacant seat and regretting it immediately. He clenched his eyes shut as a wave of nausea passed over him. He must have turned a few shades paler because Kate immediately pushed him forward and rubbed his back as he sucked in shallow breaths. "Kevin's gone." He said through the sharp intakes.

Castle's voice floated over from the passenger door. "We know." He said somberly. "We've got people out looking."

The nausea faded slowly. Esposito sat up and groaned. "Warrek's men ambushed us. They took him."

"Espo the ambulance is here." Beckett said gently. "Let them help you and then we'll discuss this."

Sure enough the ambulance was just rolling to a stop and a pair of EMTs jumped out. They came to the car with a stretcher but Javier waved it away. He didn't need it, he needed to find Kevin. He climbed slowly from the car and let them move him to the back of the ambulance. Beckett and Castle stayed by his side as the medics went to work on his forehead. "How the hell did you two beat an ambulance here?"

"We got your call." Castle answered.

"Call? I didn't…" He realized it all at once. Ryan had dialed a number on his cell before taking off. "Kevin did."

"When you didn't respond I traced the call." Beckett added. "And the report for a car accident at the same location came in at the same time so we knew something happened."

Javier was given some medicine for the pain and nausea while Castle began to rant. "Beckett drove like a mad woman to get down here. I thought I was going to die!"

"Stop being so dramatic Castle." Kate snapped with a glare before turning to the medic. "How does he look?"

The young EMT finished with his sutures to close the wound and flashed a light in front of Javier's eyes. "It doesn't appear too serious, it could have been much worse." He concluded. "But he should go back to the hospital to run some tests just in case."

He moved to put some bandages over his forehead but Javier pushed him away. "I don't think so." He snapped. "I don't have time to go to the hospital. I'm fine." He stood, albeit a little unsteadily, and managed to walk away from the ambulance with a little dignity. He found Beckett's car and focused on getting to it without stumbling to many times.

"Espo, you really should go to the hospital." Castle said gently from behind. "What if you have a concussion? You did pass out after all."

"I'm fine." He grumbled. "I've got more important things to worry about now. Like getting to Warrek before he kills Kevin." Esposito held out his hand. "I need to borrow your car. Mine is a little broken."

"I don't think so." Kate scoffed. "I'm not letting you drive. I'm not even sure if you can see straight." She waved a hand in front of his face and he batted her away. He could see just fine. She grinned and climbed into the driver's seat. "But you're right. Ryan is in a lot of trouble if it really was Warrek's men that took him."

"It was."

"Then we need to find him now." She said without hesitation. "Where to? Warrek Financials building?"

Esposito nodded, regretting it when it made his head spin. "I'll call to have some uniforms sent to his house too. But Beckett, we've got a bigger problem."

"What else could possibly be a bigger problem than this?" Castle asked from the back seat.

Javier hesitated. "It's Kevin… he sort of took my gun. He's going after Warrek. He wants to kill him."

"Shit." Kate hissed, her foot suddenly grew heavier on the gas pedal.

Castle leaned back in his seat. "Okay… that is a bigger problem."

* * *

They didn't find the gun. Warrek's men didn't bother to search him at all. He had a reputation for not doing anything as rash as pulling a gun on the boss. Which only made it so much better when he did. Ryan would always remember the look that crossed Danny's face just before he took the shot. He hoped Javier would be proud.

* * *

Esposito checked his watch again. Three hours. In three hours Warrek could have killed Ryan several times over and dumped the body for Javier never to see again. And that was only one of the possible scenarios going through Javier's head right now.

Warrek wasn't at his office. Actually no one was at his office. The whole building was shut down, and without a warrant there was little they could do. "So Warrek wasn't at his penthouse either?" He asked Beckett with a slight twinge of irritation.

She leaned against her desk and sighed. "No, the uniforms we sent checked. And the doorman said he would be out for a few days."

"Damn." He growled, hitting his fist against the desk. "He's planning something."

"I'm sorry Javi. But we're not giving up. I've got people looking into any other property he owns." She typed quickly into her computer. "But he probably wouldn't take him somewhere he could be tracked to, so we'll really have to dig. It'll take time."

"I don't have time!" Esposito roared loud enough to startle Castle as he walked up with two hands full of coffee. He startled easily and spilled half of it on the floor. "Warrek is going to kill Kevin, if he hasn't already, I need to find him now."

"We're trying Javier but you need to-"

"And do you know what I don't get?" Esposito snapped. He rubbed his head and paced franticly down the middle of the bullpen. "How the hell did Warrek find out? I mean… Kevin just decided last night to testify. And we didn't go anywhere where one of Warrek's men could have heard us talk about it. So unless one of you told…"

"We didn't tell anyone!" Kate snapped in offense. "Come on Espo, why would you think that?"

Javier brushed her off. "Well the only public place we talked about it was… here." An idea dawned on him. A downright dirty and terrible idea, but a plausible idea none the less. "Someone here heard us talking. Warrek's got a rat in the department."

Kate jumped out of her seat and grabbed him by the arm rough enough to nearly tear it out of its socket. She pulled him into the interview room and slammed the door. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed. "Maybe you should have said it louder, so the whole building could hear you."

"Maybe I will." He snapped. "Then it might flush the rat out for good and he can lead me to Warrek." Esposito pulled away from her and reached for the door but she wasn't giving up, Kate grabbed the back of his jacket and tugged him back. "Hey! I'm serious, you can't just go accusing cops of stuff like that. You know that Javi." She took a calming breath and lowered her voice. "And by the way, I already thought of a possible leak in the department I'm just investigating it wisely and discreetly, unlike like you. You are wrapped way to tight up in this, you need to take a minute to clear your head before you do something stupid. And you will if you keep this up."

"Kate, he has Kevin and he probably knows he was going to talk. He is in trouble."

Beckett's tight grip on his arm turned softer. "I know, and we all want to find him, but you've got to keep your head. Okay?"

Javier stared at his shoes. She eventually took his silence for a yes and left the room, closing the door silently behind her. No, it was not okay. He let Kevin slip through his fingers after he had promised to protect him. He had to find Kevin, he had promised to protect him, even if it cost him his job. Esposito steeled himself in front of the door. But before he could step back out into the bullpen and make a scene to flush out the mole, his phone buzzed quietly in his pocket.

He pulled it out and hit the reject button to the unknown number, he didn't have time for calls right now. He straightened his jacket and the phone buzzed again. This time a text message came through from the same number. He clicked it open and a picture filled the screen. Javier answered the phone when it rang again. "I swear to God." He hissed. "If you kill him Danny, I will not stop until your dead."

Warrek chuckled on the other end. "Don't worry Javier, he's still alive, but not by much. I think the picture proves that. You know, I've never done one of these calls before. Hostage exchange isn't really my thing. How am I doing? Is it too cliché?"

Esposito clenched his hand into a tight fist. "Cut it out. We both know you're not interested in a hostage exchange."

"You're right. I plan on killing Kevin, I don't like traitors, but I wouldn't want you to miss a good show. Why don't you come join us Detective?"

It was a trap. If he walked right into Warrek's invitation they might both end up dead. He could say no, he wouldn't play into Danny's hands again. But if he did, then would he be abandoning Kevin… again. "Where?" He said sharply into the phone.

"My offices." Danny answered, his smug grin clear in his voice. "Fifteen minutes. Come alone or all you'll find when you get here is a body." And with that the line went dead.

Esposito dropped the phone back into his pocket and straightened his jacket once more before stepping out into the bullpen. Beckett's head snapped up and she looked at him with wary eyes. "Don't worry." He said as he approached her. "I'm not going to make a scene. I thought it over and you're right. I'm not thinking clearly." She continued to watch him, she wasn't buying it. "I'm going to take a walk, clear my head a little. Who knows? Maybe I'll come up with something to help us."

"Okay…" She said slowly. "That's good, I'm glad." Kate rested her head on her hands and narrowed her eyes. He knew that look. She looked at Castle like that all the time when she thought he was up to something. But eventually she shrugged it off and smiled. "Don't worry Javier, we'll find him."

Javier grinned. "Yes, I know." He strolled confidently to the elevator and the smile vanished. "But I'm not worried." He said to the doors as they slid closed. "I'm pissed off."

* * *

Castle and Beckett watched Esposito go. "That was weird." Castle said. "He was strangely… calm. He's been on edge for days, why the change all the sudden? What did you say to him in there?"

"Nothing that would make him act like that." Kate tapped her finger against her chin. "Something isn't quite right."

"You don't think he's holding something back from us, do you?"

"Normally, no. But when it comes to Kevin I'm never sure what Javier will do, and that scares me." She stared at the elevator door for an extra minute before picking up the phone. "I need a trace on a phone." She said into the receiver. "Yeah I want it sent to my phone so I can keep an eye on it."

Castle smiled as she gave them Esposito's number and hung up the phone. "He's not going to like that."

"I don't care. It's for his own good. If he thinks it's his job to keep Ryan safe than it's my job to keep them both safe. And I'm not going to fail my job." She stood suddenly and dashed frantically away. "Castle!" She yelled from somewhere down the hall. The writer jumped to attention. "Let's go!"

* * *

The office building was still dark when he arrived. The door was unlocked so Javier let himself in. McCray waited at the reception desk. He leaned against it casually, his cold eyes on Javier as he entered. "Well if it isn't Warrek's favorite lackey." He said with a smirk. "Or do you prefer lap dog? Grunt? Tool?"

He didn't really expect a response and he didn't get one. He had a better chance of getting a reaction out of a cement wall. McCray simply motioned for him to lift his arms and gave him a pat down, removing his gun. McCray grinned and pocketed the weapon before leading him to the elevator. The thug scanned his finger and the elevator started to descend. "I've been wondering what's down here?" Esposito said. "Didn't think it would be anything good." His eyes shifted to McCray as silence fell over him. His hands were bruised again but he also had a few fresh bruises on his chin and arms and Esposito had a pretty good idea who was responsible for them. He straightened and let a small grin come over his face. "You should know, when I take down Warrek, I'm going to make sure you go down with him." McCray didn't react. "I'm not afraid of you. You'll pay for everything you ever did to Kevin."

Slowly, the man's steely eyes drifted towards him and a smile cracked his face. "We'll see about that." He growled just before the elevator doors slid open.

McCray led him out and down a long hallway. "I bet there's nothing good behind these doors." Javier said, he didn't get a response.

He was taken to the last door on the right and ushered inside. McCray slammed the door behind him and locked it tight but Esposito's attention had already focused elsewhere. Kevin's arms were pulled high above his head at the center of the room, his wrists were tied with a short length of rope and supported all his weight as he hung from a hook in the ceiling like a side of meat. His feet barely touched the ground.

All of Kevin's bandages were gone leaving old and new cuts fresh with blood. Even the cast had been taken and the broken wrist was turning new colors under the weight of the ropes. Esposito moved to his side but Ryan was unaware of his presence thanks to a blindfold that wrapped his eyes. His head hung limply and Javier's heart stopped, fearing the very worst.

Foolishly, he reached out a hand without saying a word and Kevin reacted to the touch. His whole body tensed at once as his head snapped up. Ryan lashed out with his legs and clipped Javier in the side. Clearly he hadn't been giving up without a fight. Before he could take another blow he reached out and grabbed his friend's shoulders. "Kev! Hey, it's me! Calm down."

All at once he relaxed. "Javi?"

Espo pulled off his blindfold and put a smile on his face. "Yeah bro, it's me."

Only briefly did a smile pass over the battered Irishman's face, but all too soon it vanished. "What are you doing here?" He snapped. "You shouldn't have come."

Javier stepped back and examined the hook. "Sorry man, but I couldn't just leave you hanging. No pun intended."

Ryan couldn't help but laugh but again he forced it away quickly. "It's a trap and you know it. That was an idiotic move."

Esposito wrapped his arms around Kevin's waist and lifted him high enough to pull his hands up and over the edge of the hook. "I know but I guess we can't all make genius decisions like stealing a cop's gun and going after dangerous criminals alone." He dragged Ryan to the empty table in the back and propped him against it. "I hope you at least got a shot in."

Kevin grinned against the pain. "I did. I only wished I'd gotten a better chance to aim, I was interrupted and only got the bastard in the arm."

Javier worked at the rope, trying to ignore Kevin's whines of pain whenever he bumped his wrist. "That was really stupid Kev. I'd be more pissed at you right now if you didn't look like shit."

"Sorry Javi but I had to do something. I just want this to be over."

"I know bro… me too." He didn't get a chance to break Ryan free from his bindings before the door suddenly opened.

"Detective." Warrek greeted cheerfully as he entered. "You've taken down my favorite ceiling ornament." It was easy to tell that Danny had been hurt. He carried his right arm carefully and McCray stuck to that side like glue.

Esposito straightened and stepped forward, placing himself between them and Ryan. "Alright Warrek. I'm here, what happens now?" Danny grinned and pulled out a gun. Espo laughed. "So you're just going to kill us? You do that and-"

"Yes I know, I'll have all your annoying little friends down at the NYPD poking their noses into my life more than they already have. I'm aware of that detective." Javier stiffened as Warrek continued. "But the thing is, I don't care anymore. Finally getting rid of the two of you once and for all will be worth all hell fire I may call down."

"Either way, you're going to burn Danny." Esposito growled. "Whether I'm alive to see it or not."

"Well, I prefer you not." Warrek waved the gun, signaling McCray. The thug moved towards Ryan but Javier stood his ground. McCray tensed noticeably. "Easy Marty." Danny said with a laugh. "Detective Esposito please step aside or else-" Warrek didn't get a chance to finish before McCray pulled back and hit Javier across the face. Esposito stumbled to the side and McCray grabbed Ryan by the arm. His head spun like a hurricane, he still hadn't fully recovered from the crash. "Ah, sorry about that." Danny said. "Marty here is just as eager to get this over with as soon as possible. We've got a flight to keep and a private island to lay low on just waiting for us."

Javier straightened, wiping at the blood running from his lip. "You're a bastard and you won't get away with any of this. Where are you taking him?"

McCray was dragging Ryan out the door as they spoke. "Sorry but I don't intend to give you two the satisfaction of dying together." Danny nodded and McCray pulled Ryan out the room and out of sight. "He'll be killed cleanly and dropped in a trash heap or at the bottom of a river, just like he deserves. I'm sure no one will even notice he's gone. You on the other hand are a little bit of a wild card. I have to make sure you never turn up again." Warrek raised his gun to Javier's forehead. "Now go on, I want to hear it. Beg for your life."

* * *

McCray's grip was tight on his arm. Ryan had trouble keeping up with the man as he was pulled down the hall. His entire body hurt and he was so damn tired. But really, he wasn't surprised things had turned out this way. His life had been nothing but one disaster after another, it only made sense it would all end up like this. He only wished Javier hadn't been dragged into it, he'd worked so hard to push him away but the man wouldn't give up.

But if Javier wouldn't give up, then maybe he shouldn't either.

Ryan let himself be pulled into the elevator. Silently, McCray hit the switch for the main lobby. The doors closed and the two men were left in an unbreakable silence.

Kevin Ryan would never describe himself as a hateful man. He couldn't bring himself to hate most people but there were some in his mind, who just deserved that kind of maliciousness. And Martin McCray was one of them, which made what he decided to do next all the much easier… if it worked.

Ryan took two very small steps backward, placing himself just behind McCray. The man didn't seem to notice, he was content to stare blankly at the doors, probably deciding just how he would finish the job. Besides, it wasn't as if the smaller, injured man standing next to him was much of a threat, but then again you should never underestimate a desperate man.

He'd tried to free his hands from their bindings but the ropes were just too tight, it didn't work. But maybe they would help him. Ryan took a deep breath, pushing away every last ounce of pain his body was suffering and let a rush of adrenaline take over. Then, in one quick and surprisingly agile movement he pounced.

Kevin jumped and wrapped his arms around McCray's neck, letting the fibers of the ropes dig painfully into his skin. There was only a small moment of surprise before the large man started to fight back. Ryan was lifted off his feet when McCray started to flail. He grabbed and scratched at Ryan, trying to pull him off. But it only pushed Kevin to tighten his grip. His arms burned and his wrist screamed loudly for him to stop but he wouldn't give up. Memories of all this man had done to him and countless others drove him forward.

When McCray failed at wrenching the man off his back, he changed his tactics. He backed up, slamming Ryan hard into the wall. His sore body cried out but still he wouldn't relent, instead he fought back. McCray moved forward to try again but Ryan drew his legs up behind him and planted them on the wall, he pushed with all his strength and drove McCray forward across the small elevator. His forehead hit the door with a sickening crack.

The big man wavered. Between the lack of air and the concussion he had surely just suffered he was brought to his knees. He still fought but his grip was weakening.

Slowly McCray fell until finally he lay on the floor, unmoving. Ryan was afraid at first to loosen his grip but when the elevator binged and the doors opened to the main lobby, he realized that he had won. For the first time in a very long time, Ryan had stood up for himself and won.

Standing over McCray now, Kevin felt he could do anything. He was not just a weak subordinate who had no choice but to do as he was told, he was capable of making a difference. He could fight for himself and his friends and succeed. The thought sent a new rush of energy through him.

He didn't check McCray for a pulse. He didn't care in that moment if he'd killed him or not. He had other things to worry about. Ryan hit the button for the elevator doors to close and lifted McCray's hand to the fingerprint scanner, sending him back to the depths below. He found a knife on the man and used it to free himself from the ropes. To his disappointment he didn't find a gun, McCray must have figured it too simple a way to kill Kevin, he probably wanted to be more creative.

But it didn't matter. The knife was enough to put an end to this once and for all. He gripped it tight and prepared himself to face his demons once and for all.

* * *

"Now go on, I want to hear it. Beg for your life."

Javier stared unblinkingly down the barrel of the gun. He wouldn't dare give Warrek the satisfaction. "Come on." Danny whined. "I want to hear you say please, 'please spare my miserable life Danny'."

Esposito smirked. "The only thing I'm going to beg you to do is shut that cavernous hole you call a mouth. Do you ever stop talking?"

Anger flashed across his face but he only saw it for a second before the side of the gun connected with his temple. Stars sprang momentarily through his vision but he forced them away. Javier righted himself, not even realizing he'd fallen over. Danny grabbed his shirt collar with his good side and pulled him forward. "I'm going to enjoy this." He hissed. Javier felt the gun push painfully in his ribs. "Finally wiping that smug smile off your face will be a wonderful reconciliation for all you've put me through."

"Oh I plan on giving you trouble even after death." Javier snapped back. "Castle and Beckett won't stop until you're either behind bars or dead. And trust me, when they set their mind to it, they'll do it."

Warrek shoved him away, pulling back and giving him a hard kick in the side. Javier doubled over, coughing to catch his breath. "Those two will be a problem. But I'll worry about that later. I'm sure I'll come up with a good way to get rid of them later. I'm clever like that."

Doubled over in pain, Esposito laughed. "You are in so far over your head and you don't even know it. I mean look at you… you couldn't even handle me. And I'm just one detective. Once you kill me you'll have the whole New York police force breathing down your neck." He straightened and stared into Warrek's eyes. "So go ahead, do it. Kill me."

Danny lifted the gun. "Fine then, I will." His finger hesitated on the trigger.

Javier smiled. "What's the matter Danny? Scared? You should be because not only will they be angry with you for what you do to me. But also for what you did to Ryan. You see, he made some friends, something I'm sure you would never understand."

"You can't scare me. No one cares about that rat."

"I care and so do they."

Warrek rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't. So you can save the lovesick speech about your boyfriend because Martin is taking care of him as we speak." Esposito clenched his fists. He tried to relax but he couldn't, his worry for his friend was getting the better of him. He felt his face fall to anger and couldn't stop it. Danny smiled triumphantly. "There's the look I've been waiting for. Defeat. Yes, that's right, he's dead and you're going to join him." He raised the gun. "Goodbye Detective… and good riddance."

Javier prepared himself to fight back. He had tucked his feet underneath him during Warrek's ridiculous monologue and when he raised the gun he squared his shoulders and was ready to attack. It was a poor plan, and he would most likely be shot before he even reached Warrek, but Javier Esposito would never go down without a fight.

But he never got the chance. In a flash Danny was knocked to the side and the gun went off. The bullet missed his head by centimeters, only nicking Javier's ear before it punctured the wall.

Ryan tackled Warrek to the ground and a scream echoed through the small room, the clatter of the gun falling was only an afterthought. Esposito wasn't sure which of the two men had screamed until he caught sight of Ryan's hand wrapped tight around the handle of a knife buried deep in Warrek's left shoulder. Was he aiming for his heart? He'd never suspect Kevin to be that ruthless but the fury burning through his eyes in that moment made him wonder.

Danny regained some sense and kicked Kevin off. Ryan pulled the knife along with him and Danny screamed again. Ryan jumped to his feet and attacked again. Esposito was taken back by the energy his injured friend was displaying. He tried to embed the knife in Danny's neck this time but the man was a little more prepared. He grabbed Kevin's wrist and squeezed down on the broken bone. The Irishman cried out and dropped the knife.

"You're supposed to be dead." He growled before wrapping his hands around Ryan's neck and pushing him back into the wall.

Javier grabbed Danny by the shoulders and pulled him off. They both fell to the floor in a heap. They grappled for a moment but Javier quickly won the upper hand. He pinned Warrek to the ground and landed a punch hard across his face. Danny refused to go down easily but Javier was determined. He threw two more punches and Warrek finally stopped moving.

Esposito took only a moment to catch his breath before he checked on Ryan. "Kevin? Kev, are you okay?"

Ryan coughed but nodded. "I'm fine. Is he dead?"

"No but he's not going anywhere." He looked back on the motionless body. "What about McCray? What happened to him?"

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe dead."

Despite the morbid response Javier smiled. "You surprised me Kev. I didn't think you had that kind of fight in you." He took his friend's face and checked his wounds. "You look like shit."

Kevin laughed. "You don't look so hot yourself bro."

He felt the warmth from a trickle of blood down his face. "No, I bet I don't but I always look better than you."

"Oh is that right?" They laughed again and somehow things had already started to drift back to normality. Everything was going to be okay now, Esposito knew it. Ryan was safe. And no matter what he had to do, he was determined to keep it that way.

Javier nodded. "How about we go home bro?"

Kevin smiled and opened his mouth to respond. But he was cut off.

Cut off by a gunshot.

Esposito watched in horror as his smile faded into blank shock. "No." The detective gasped, his eyes falling to a red spot growing on Kevin's side. "Kev!"

Javier turned on Warrek, who was still holding the smoking gun in his hand. He grinned, showing perfect white teeth red with blood. "Maybe the little bastard will stay dead this time."

Esposito jumped forward before he could turn the gun on him. He tore the weapon out of Warrek's hand and pressed it to Danny's temple. His hand shook with anger and every fiber in his being wanted to pull the trigger. But that damn police conscious he'd developed over the years was ruining it all.

Warrek wanted to die, he could see it in his eyes. He was finished and he wanted to go out by taking Javier down with him. He'd never give it up. Instead of giving him the satisfaction he flipped the gun in his hand and hit him hard enough across the head to knock him out for a week.

Esposito jumped back to Ryan and pulled off his jacket. He pressed it into the wound, eliciting a scream from the Irishman. But Javier was thankful to hear it, he wasn't dead. "Hold on bro, stay with me."

Kevin looked at him under fading eyes. To Javier's surprise a smile crossed his face. "This seems… familiar." He said slowly.

"Yeah, it's a real blast from the past. Hey! Look at me, keep your eyes open." Kevin struggled to pull his eyes back open. All the fears from the past came back. Suddenly he was back in that alley watching his friend die once more. And if pressing a hand into his friend's bloody side wasn't enough to bring it all back, voices echoed down the hall sending a rush of anxiety through him. Did Warrek have back up? Did they hear the gunshot?

Ryan heard it too, his head shifted slightly toward the noise. "You… should go." He panted.

"Shut up!" Esposito snapped. It was a ridiculous notion, where was he supposed to go? They were cornered. But even if he wasn't… "I'm not leaving Kev… not this time. Never again."

Footsteps fell closer. Esposito placed himself protectively in front of Kevin. "You and me bro, till the very end." He lifted his hand in a fist.

Ryan lifted his weakly and bumped it. "Until the end."

Javier nodded and readied his gun.

But relief flooded over him when Beckett's familiar face burst through the door, firearm at the ready. She was followed closely by Castle, unarmed. "Javi!" Beckett cried, seeing the state of her best detective.

"I'm fine." Javier relayed. He would worry later just how they'd found him, now he had bigger problems. "But Kevin needs an ambulance, right now!" Her eyes darted to the Irishman before she nodded and pulled out a phone.

Castle dropped to his side. "Is he…" The writer swallowed the end of the question.

Esposito turned back to Kevin. "No, he's just-" He froze when his eyes landed on the paling Irishman. He wasn't moving, he wasn't even sure if he was breathing. "Kevin…" He squeaked, a new panic rising in him greater than his fear that night in the alley. He never would have imagined it possible. "Kevin, open your eyes. Come on Kev, please." There was no response. Nothing. "Don't do this to me… Kevin!"

* * *

 **Sorry... I'm so, so sorry for such a long wait for this chapter but I hope it was worth it. Just one more chapter to go!**


	14. What Never Will Be

Chapter 14:

What Never Will Be

Javier clasped his hands together over the crisp white bed sheets. Maybe in an attempt of prayer, or maybe in an attempt to calm his shaking hands. He bent his head over the side of the bed and listened to the gentle beep measuring Ryan's slow heartbeat. Several hours of surgery and he had barely pulled through. His side was stitched and bandaged, his arm had been re-casted, and his cuts and bruises had been cleaned and fixed, but still he looked like death was waiting around the corner.

Honestly they were lucky to be alive, but Javier didn't feel lucky, not sitting at Kevin's bedside like this. The only bit of reassurance he had to pull him through was the knowledge that Warrek was behind bars and, in the hours he had been sitting in the waiting room, fearing the worst, they'd received word that more people were coming forward to testify. As soon as word spread of Ryan's bravery, they started to feel it in themselves and came forward. Ryan had shown them that Danny wasn't invincible, he was just a man. The department was overwhelmed with confessions, Daniel Warrek was going away for a long time.

But it was hardly enough. All Javier really wanted was for Kevin to open his eyes and make a crack at him, or say something nerdy and stupid, but that wasn't happening any time soon. Esposito took a deep ragged breath. He had something on his mind and it had to come out before it was too late. "Kev…" His voice rasped harshly. "Kevin, I am so… so sorry."

He wanted to say more, he wanted to confess all his sins. But it was too hard. His eyes started to burn with tears as he watched his best friend's chest rise and fall slowly. He gripped Kevin's wrist tightly until he felt a pulse beneath his pale skin and listened to the monitor keep the same steady rhythm. He just needed the confirmation he was still alive.

A sudden noise in the hallway made Javier rush to wipe at his eyes. "Castle you bought to many." Beckett scolded from somewhere down the hallway.

"I did not." The writer squeaked in defense.

Kate appeared in the doorway and smiled at her detective. Her eyes looked him over and filled again with concern. Javier had a quite a few bandages of his own and she had looked at him like that every time she'd seen him. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by an awful noise as Castle tried to fit though the door with enough balloons to carry a man to the moon and a giant teddy bear crushed in his arms. The writer struggled to find a spot for all the gifts, making even more noise. It was all so… Castle, and it made Javier smile. He wiped it away as soon as the writer looked at him with a massive grin. "How is he?"

Javier lowered his head, "About the same. The doctor was here, she said he was still stable but there was no change."

Beckett rubbed his shoulder. "He's going to be okay. If there's one thing I've learned about Ryan, it's that he's a fighter."

Esposito smiled and nodded. "He is." He cleared his throat, fighting off more tears. He wouldn't cry in front of his friends. "So how's the case?"

Castle grinned. "Warrek is calling in an armada of lawyers. He's threatening lawsuits against you, us, the captain, the precinct..."

Javier started at him blankly. "Then why are you smiling?"

"Because even if all those lawyers were carrying shovels made of gold there's no way he could dig himself out from under all the confessions that are still coming in. Warrek is screwed and he knows it." Castle laughed happily at the thought.

"Good." Javier shifted his seat, moving it closer to the bedside.

"Are you hungry?" Beckett questioned. "When did you eat last?"

"I'm fine."

She crossed her arms. "That's not what I asked. Maybe you should get some rest, Castle and I can sit with him for a while." The writer nodded in agreement.

Esposito frowned. "Did you know no one has come to visit him? I tried calling his family but they… well, they're not here. He has nobody but me."

"And us." Beckett interrupted sharply.

"Yeah." Castle cut in. "Alexis and my mother will be stopping by today too."

"I think Lanie and some of the other officers mentioned visiting as soon as they could." Beckett added. "He's not alone Javi, and he's safe. It's okay, you can get some rest."

"I will… in a while. I'm just going to stay here a little longer."

Beckett sighed at his stubbornness but relented. "Alright, but I'm going to go get you some food and you will eat it."

Esposito smirked. "Yes ma'am."

Kate rolled her eyes. She quickly adjusted Kevin's blankets and patted down his hair before walking from the room. "Come on Castle, you're paying for lunch."

Rick turned and ran face first into his bouquet of balloons, getting tangled in the strings. He made a cacophony of noise before finally freeing himself and waving goodbye.

Javier laughed and shook his head. He was grateful for his friends… even Castle. They had done so much for him during this whole mess and were still giving. He would have to thank them somehow. But that was how friends worked. No matter what, they stuck by your side. If only Javier had learned how friends were supposed to treat each other sooner, then Kevin wouldn't be where he is now.

Javier sighed. He would have to learn to forgive himself one day but it wouldn't happen anytime soon. Not until he fixed things. Never again would he allow Ryan resort to drug use as an escape or search through dumpsters for his next meal. That would all change. Kevin just had to wake up and give him the chance to make it all right. He felt again for the pulse at Ryan's wrist before laying his head down on the bedside. Slowly he drifted off to the calm tempo of his friend's pulse, taking comfort in knowing that he was still alive.

* * *

The first thing Ryan felt when he woke was fear. He wasn't allowed to be in a hospital. It attracted too much attention. Danny would be angry with him if he found out. He'd be in for a new round of punishment. His chest tightened as fear took hold.

But the fear was effortlessly chased away at the hands of one simple noise. "This movie is ridiculous." Javier's voice broke the panic in an instant and reminded Kevin that for the first time in a long time, he was safe. "It just doesn't make sense."

Ryan forced his heavy eyelids open and followed the sound of his friend's voice. Esposito sat in an uncomfortable chair directly to his right. He couldn't have been any closer to Ryan's side if he tried. His legs were propped up on the mattress and he was shoving a handful of chips into his mouth. The sight made Kevin smile, inside and out.

"What do you mean it doesn't make sense? It's a beautiful movie." The second voice took Ryan by surprise. He watched as Esposito passed the bag of chips over the bed. Kevin followed the movement and his eyes landed on the Alexis, sitting cross-legged in a chair to his left. They both had their attention on the television screen in the corner of the room.

"Why doesn't she just tell him that she loves him?" Javier said in exasperation. "It's just so obvious."

"She can't." Alexis snapped. "Her family arranged for her to marry Phillip."

"But she doesn't love him! She loves Andrew."

"But she doesn't want to upset her family. They need the money from Phillip or they're going to lose the farm."

Esposito snorted and took back the chip bag when it was offered to him. Ryan noticed his blanket had a trail of crumbs from one side of the bed to the other. "Like I said… it just doesn't make sense. She should just tell him, love is more important."

Alexis giggled. "I didn't know you were such a romantic Detective Esposito."

"We all have our secrets." The comment made Ryan laugh. Esposito looked at him and nearly fell out of his chair as he scrambled to stand. "Kev!" He shouted excitedly. "You're awake."

Alexis flipped off the TV and stood as well. She smiled brightly down at him. "Good morning sleepy head." She greeted softly.

Ryan opened his mouth to respond but noticed for the first time how dry his throat was. Alexis grabbed a bottle of water off the bed stand. She fished a straw out of the drawer and held it up to him. Kevin drank it down greedily, only stopping when he had to catch his breath. "Thank you." The words came out no stronger than a whisper but still the two smiled at the sound of his voice.

"It's good to see you bro." Esposito said. "How are you feeling?"

Ryan took a moment to assess his body. It was mostly numb, probably thanks to pain killers, but the dull ache in his side reminded him of why he was there. He grinned as lines began to crease Javier's face in worry when he didn't answer. "Like I've been shot." He said finally. "But other than that I'm great."

Esposito rolled his eyes. "Well you look like shit. Worse than usual."

"Thanks." Ryan tried to adjust himself but found the task to be to much. His body was tired and stiff. "How long have I been here?" He asked.

Javier answered with hesitation. "A week."

"Oh." Kevin tried to process the thought but also found that to be too much. "And Warrek?"

More hesitation. "I'll explain it all later. For now, just know that you don't have to worry about him anymore."

Ryan trusted that Javier was telling the truth and the thought made him relax. He yawned and glanced behind Esposito where it seemed he had made camp in the little hospital chair. "And how long have you been here?"

Esposito just shrugged so Alexis answered for him. "A week." She said simply. Javier glared at her but she only grinned back. "He's been driving the doctors and nurses crazy." She added.

"Of course he has." Ryan laughed as his eyelids started to fall back down on the own accord.

He felt the blankets around him being adjusted and a presence standing over him. "Just get some sleep, bro. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay." He drifted back to sleep with no doubt that Javier would be there. He was free of fear and, for the first time in a long time, Ryan felt completely safe.

* * *

"This will be your desk." Javier sat the pile of paperwork down and smiled.

Ryan looked from his new desk to Javier's, noting the close proximity. He leaned on the cane that helped keep him upright since getting out of the hospital and sighed. "It's awfully close to yours, Javi."

Esposito dropped into his chair and grinned. "Of course it is. And you should be grateful, I had to pull a lot of strings to get you that desk. It's got a good view of the precinct."

Ryan lowered himself carefully into his own chair. "You just want me close so you can keep an eye on me."

Javier reached out to help Kevin get comfortable. Many of his wounds had healed but he was still recovering from the gunshot and blood lose, the cast on his wrist would be coming off in a few more weeks. "You bet I do because, god knows, you can't take care of yourself." A grimace of a smile broke Kevin's face and Javier rethought his previous statement. "But you're working on it. This is going to be good, trust me."

It had been nearly two months since their confrontation with Daniel Warrek. The tyrant was in jail and drowning under the weight of a testimony driven case. Ryan had been released from the hospital after a month and had been spending all his days at Esposito's apartment recovering, until now.

Esposito stood and swiveled Kevin in his chair. The Irishman sighed at the sight of the pile of paperwork waiting for him. "So what exactly am I supposed to do?"

Esposito pulled his chair up. "It's simple, all the information in the folders has to be entered in to the computer, then categorized."

Ryan's nose wrinkled. "Ugh… sounds boring. Do I really have to do this?"

"It's either this or picking trash on the side of the road." Javier grumbled. "That was the ruling of your case." Esposito had attended every court hearing of Ryan's, hoping his presence and testimony would help in the judge's sentence for his drug trafficking crimes. Javier didn't want to see Ryan in jail, not after everything he'd been through.

However, in the end, it wasn't just Javier that had come through for the Irishman. Beckett had given a testimony as well and submitted several requests for special consideration. Castle had tried to give a testimony but the judge made it very clear the writer had little influence over her decision, although she did accept several signed copies of his books. They all wanted to make it very clear the risk Ryan took in being the first to testify and what he had done to help put Daniel Warrek down.

Ryan's sentence was reduced to a good sum of community service hours. And as far as the offer to spend those community service hours at the precinct, filing paper work, and close to Esposito's side, they had a good feeling it was at the recommendation of a certain police Captain… although it has yet to be proven.

"I just hope you realize." He continued. "How lucky you are. I pulled a lot-"

"You pulled a lot of strings and cashed in a lot of favors. I know… you've told me again and again and again." Javier glared at him but Kevin only smirked. He pulled his chair forward and picked up a handful of files. "I guess I better get started then, wouldn't want all those favors to go to waste."

Esposito watched over him closely, a first he seemed overwhelmed by the sheer amount of paperwork, but he quickly found a routine and was working hard in no time. He turned back to his own work and found himself finally slipping back into his own old routine as the hours passed. It was as if the world was finally normal again, but better somehow.

Castle and Beckett arrived a short time later, fresh off a new case. They brought lunch and the four of them ate together in the conference room, laughing and joking in a way that just seemed natural. As soon as they finished, Kevin was back at his desk, hard at work. He had always been the type to want to do a good job for its own sake and, Javier couldn't believe it, but he actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

The days passed quickly and the entire precinct started to accept Ryan into their lives. He was a welcomed addition and made quick friends with several of the officers and detectives.

"He's doing well." Beckett said as she and Javier were pinning up pictures to the evidence board a few weeks later. They both took a moment to watch as Ryan finished yet another stack of papers. He gathered them in his arms and limped off to the file room.

Esposito got less anxious these days whenever the Irishman left his sight. "He is. He still has nightmares, and sometimes we have to work through sudden cravings for a high, but he's doing better. We're even going to go see his family next month, he's excited about that and so am I. They'll finally get to know what really happened."

"Finally wore them down?" Javier nodded. It hadn't been easy, he'd called the Ryan family almost every day for the past few months in an effort to get them to understand that their son had changed. He dreaded telling them the story but Javier knew it had to be done.

Kate grinned as Kevin returned with a new pile of papers and set back to work. "And the Captain has noticed how hard he's working. If he keeps it up she might just want to keep him around once his service hours run out."

Javier smiled at the thought. "Yeah well, he's a big nerd, it figures he'd work himself crazy. Hey!" He shouted across the room. "Take it easy Kev! There's always more paperwork, it's not going anywhere bro." Ryan's head popped up from behind the computer. He rubbed his eyes and stood to join them. He straightened his tie as he walked over. He'd really taken to the suits since he started working and had asked to borrow so many of Javier's that he eventually just bought him some as an early birthday present.

"Hey guys." Ryan greeted with a smile. "Got a new case? Anything I can do to help?"

"Oh no, not this time." Javier snapped. Ryan had proved useful in more than just paperwork filing. He had given them so many tips thanks to his years spent as part of the drug trade, that the Narcotics Unit had been interrupting Kevin's work almost daily for insights and tips. "We have to solve cases ourselves sometimes."

Ryan grinned from ear to ear, it thrilled him whenever he could be useful. "Alright fine, but just this one time."

Beckett laughed and checked her watch. "Besides, it's getting late guys. Let's call it a night and start fresh in the morning."

Javier looked at his own watch. "Late? It's only five. You always work us later than that when we've got a new case."

Kate shrugged and pulled on her coat. "Well, for once, I've got plans tonight. I'm going out with the girls, in fact they should be here any… Oh! There they are."

Lanie stepped off the elevator, talking energetically with another woman. Esposito noticed Ryan straighten in an instant when his eyes landed on the young blonde. She was short, with bright blonde hair and blue eyes. "Wh-who is that?" He stuttered.

Beckett raised an eyebrow and smiled. "She's a friend of ours. Lanie and I met her a few weeks ago. Her name is Jenny."

"Jenny." Ryan repeated.

"She's very pretty." Castle said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and startling the poor Irishman from behind.

Kevin nodded when he had finally regained his composure. "Yes, she is."

Lanie and Jenny stopped in the hallway, engrossed in whatever they were discussing. "You should go talk to her."

"Castle, leave him alone." Javier snapped harshly before grinning. "Seriously though bro, you should go talk to her."

"Me?" Kevin squeaked. "Why would I talk to her? I-I mean why would she want to talk to me? Just look at me." He fidgeted with his tie and ran a hand through his hair, there was nothing wrong with the way he looked. "I'm a mess."

Beckett tilted her head. "She's a very nice girl."

"Which is exactly why I can't talk to her… I'm… you know… a mess." He repeated, hanging his head low.

Javier placed a hand on his shoulder and turned Ryan to face him. "Hey bro, there's nothing wrong with you. Understand? We're all lucky to know you and she would be too. So you're going to march over there and talk to that woman or- oh crap! She's coming this way." Esposito spun him back around and suddenly the two were standing face to face.

Ryan froze when Jenny smiled at him. "Hello." She said gently.

"H-hi." He stuttered in response. "It's Jenny, right? Oh, uh… I hope you don't think it's weird that I know you're name. Beckett told me. Not that I was asking or anything but uh… Well, I was curious what your name was but not in a weird way or anything. But it's a very pretty name and so are you… uh pretty, that is."

Esposito slapped a hand over his face as Ryan started to turn bright red. But to both their surprise Jenny just smiled. "Well, since you know my name, do you mind giving me yours?"

"Kevin, it's Kevin." He stuck out a hand and she shook it.

"It's nice to meet you Kevin."

Castle couldn't contain himself any longer. "Why don't we all go out tonight? We could go for dinner and then drinks at my place! My treat."

Beckett put her hands on her hips. "We were supposed to be having a girl's night, Castle." A smile broke her stern expression. "But I guess, if you guys aren't busy."

"I'm not busy!" Ryan piped immediately.

Javier rolled his eyes. "Yeah, guess I'm not either."

Kate, Lanie, Jenny, and Castle headed for the elevator while Ryan and Esposito gathered their coats from their desks. "Told you, bro." Javier grinned. "She likes you."

Kevin's cheeks went red but he couldn't help but smile. "I really should thank you, Javi." He said quietly. "For everything you've done for me. I mean, you really saved me."

Esposito froze with his coat in his hands. "You don't have to thank me for anything." He stared intently at the fabric. "After all, you can't really thank me for fixing something that I broke in the first place. If anything, you saved me. I was on a bad track, and what happened, it really knocked me off of it. I changed everything after that." He looked up at Kevin, trying to think of the right way to tell him what he'd wanted to for so long, but it only came out in two simple words. "Thank you."

Ryan smiled and held out his fist. "Hey bro, what are friends for?"

Javier bumped his fist and things fell into a comfortable quiet until Castle's voice broke through. "Hey! You guys coming or not? I'm hungry!"

The two men laughed and headed for the elevator. "You know… I wonder what would have happened if we both had joined the police academy like I wanted us to." Ryan said. "Maybe we could have been partners."

Esposito had often wondered that over the years and had pictured the two of them working side by side. It was a good picture but one that seemed so farfetched that it had almost faded completely, but now…. "I don't know." He finally answered. "But one thing is for sure."

"What's that?"

"We would have made terrible partners."

 **The End**

 **Thank you for reading! Until next time.**


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